When To Let Go > Comments on Parenting - some days are long

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I have a 28 year old daughter who
sounds similar in nature to your daughter, only mine has prescription pill addiction thrown in the mix. I cannot imagine having 8 children though! I'm looking forward to your posts! Welcome to Blogit.

posted by dancin_grandma on August 15, 2010 at 4:47 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Good question, one I haven't quite figured out either, lol
Believe me, we have had many conversations on maturity and responsibility. Parents can be enablers and I think I need to take responsibility for that one. There is so much history with her that plays a part in who she is now and the effect seems to snowball. She always had low self-esteem, did not seem to her that she fit in anywhere, quit highschool in her senior year (got her Ged a bit later though), took up drinking, began cutting herself, spent some short stints in thereapy, got married at age 20 which lasted 9 months, married again about a year later, had 3 kids, divorced again.......and now is trying to make a new start. Oh, how does one really uninvolve themselves? You can't completely - it is called being a parent. I just always forget to set up limitations.

posted by mother_goose on July 31, 2010 at 2:30 PM | link to this | reply

And it is not giving up on her or pretending that I will disown her and be angry forever. It is letting go of the what feels like ownership or protectiveness, if you will, of her happiness. Thinking that I need to help her through every step in life even though she is clearly old enough to do well on her own. She moved herself and the kids to a new town, she found a good job but she still makes some bad decisions. I have to let go of that - of thinking I have to be there at every turn. How else will she be able to stand alone and be strong for her own children. It is painful though - thank you.

posted by mother_goose on July 31, 2010 at 2:22 PM | link to this | reply

I am not a mother myself dear mother goose, but my mother had the same feelings with me...I lived with her until I was almost twenty-four years old.  God bless the pain of letting go.

posted by lovelyladymonk on July 30, 2010 at 4:11 PM | link to this | reply

Good question, one I haven't quite figured out either, lol

Ouch on the phone bills; I would be ready to start clipping those strings too! ..:)
That said, with her having three children and being a single mother, perhaps finding ways to communicate to her the need for maturity and responsibility; I can imagine you wanted her to have a phone for safety reasons. Sigh, when it comes to being a parent, there are no easy answers. And you have 8! - wow, the stories you can tell. Welcome to Blogit, I enjoyed reading your post. 

posted by Katray2 on July 29, 2010 at 9:44 PM | link to this | reply

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