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Kabu

Sad that your Mum never really recovered. But it's good that you have overcome your anger towards her, realizing that she did not choose her affliction...

posted by Nautikos on November 8, 2009 at 4:02 PM | link to this | reply

Kabu

It’s understandable you would come away from that part of your history with mixed feelings – nurse or not.  How sad for both your parents but I’m glad you have a happier picture of them in your mind now…..

posted by Troosha on November 8, 2009 at 6:08 AM | link to this | reply

You are right about mixed feelings. You can grieve and hate at the same time. I spent years torturing myself with hateful feelings about my mother; such a waste of time and energy. I'm glad you have found so much happiness and serenity. It gives me, at least, the feeling that life is never, ever completely lacking in hope and possibilities. Have a wonderful day. Thanks for your concerned comment; I'm feeling less stiff today.

posted by elinjo on November 8, 2009 at 12:38 AM | link to this | reply

Grief takes us to never before known places sometimes and it is not surprising to know you felt that way..I'm sure both your parents understand sweet kabu and may their souls rest in peace.

posted by shobana on November 7, 2009 at 11:35 PM | link to this | reply

Kabu ~  ~ you speak: "but grief is a strange bedfellow and walks its own path"  Your wisdom never cease to amaze me.  ~ Such a sad memory and I admire you for the calm reflection and the ability to share with such resolve.  You've healed and grown ~ This was but a stepping stone on that jagged and sometimes twisted pathway - You Lady are filled with such Grace ... I am moved to tears by your Love & wisdom to honor~ Elyse

posted by elysianfields on November 7, 2009 at 8:40 PM | link to this | reply

Re:

Darson YEAH SWEETPEA, DAD WAS /IS MY HERO....ALONG WITH WILEY OFCOURSE. XOXOXOX

posted by Kabu on November 7, 2009 at 8:09 PM | link to this | reply

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lustorlove SENILE OR ALZHEIMERS...THE END RESULT IS THE SAME.

posted by Kabu on November 7, 2009 at 8:08 PM | link to this | reply

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Samantha39 MUM DIDN'T LIKE ME, SHE THOUGHT THAT I WAS HER LEAST FAVOURITE SISTER.bUT IT IS SO LONG AGO NOW.

posted by Kabu on November 7, 2009 at 8:07 PM | link to this | reply

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TAPS. It is really really tough on family, especially the closest members.

posted by Kabu on November 7, 2009 at 8:06 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Kabu

Justi time is a great healer, now I think of Mum as the younger woman so different.

posted by Kabu on November 7, 2009 at 8:04 PM | link to this | reply

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sam444 you are so right my Sam Iam.

posted by Kabu on November 7, 2009 at 8:03 PM | link to this | reply

Re: How lucky, Kabu, that you survived all that and got through to enjoy

Pat_B LOL Pat darlin'now I justpray I keep my mind.

posted by Kabu on November 7, 2009 at 8:02 PM | link to this | reply

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lovelyladymonk just shows how we have to live every day to the full to make the most of each day.

posted by Kabu on November 7, 2009 at 8:02 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Kabuiepie-;)

WileyJohn Yes concentrating on the future, that's the thing.

posted by Kabu on November 7, 2009 at 7:57 PM | link to this | reply

What therapy to be able to process this into a few posts. And helpful for those of us that might be facing similar situations in the near future. This tore at my emotions quite a bit, thinking of the love of a spouse, and the sacrifices made for someone that is not well. What a good egg your dad was. It warms my heart to think of such a man. Thank you so much for sharing this, Kabu.

posted by Darson on November 7, 2009 at 6:37 PM | link to this | reply

I remember before it was fashionable to have alzheimer it was senility and they kept telling me my grandpa was senile.  Sorry you went thru so much with your mom and your dad had too much to handle

posted by lustorlove on November 7, 2009 at 5:14 PM | link to this | reply

I'm glad your at peace now.  It's so rough when that
disease hits.  My grandmother had it and I hated
explaining over and over who I was.  It's hard and
don't forget to not be so hard on yourself.

posted by Samantha39 on November 7, 2009 at 3:47 PM | link to this | reply

It was my mother who had trouble forgiving my dad for getting Alzheimers.  She was so in denial she though he was doing all those strange things just to drive her crazy.  She stopped going to church because she was afraid someone would ask, "How's Hursel?"  We had to put dad in care because his illness was literally killing her.  She got better after he was in a care facility but she refused to even go visit him because she was afraid he would want to come back home.

posted by TAPS. on November 7, 2009 at 1:44 PM | link to this | reply

Kabu

It is so difficult to see the things our parents do, say and are and make sense of it when we are young. I expected my parents to be perfect and when they didn't live up to that I was really in a sad state when it only became worse because of age. After I, like you came to the place I understood it was easier to just pray for my children when they thought I was a nut case. It all gets fine in time. I loved your writing this, it was hard for all concerned I am sure. I went through something similar. Love you sweet lady.

posted by Justi on November 7, 2009 at 1:31 PM | link to this | reply

It is a devastating disease! What a testament of his love for her, though! We know what we have to do professionally, but let it hit home and it becomes clouded and we still need to process it! Perhaps that is why you are sharing now, simply finishing the processing of it all! No time limit is every effective, we just get through it the best we can! Love you my Kabu! Your sam I am

posted by sam444 on November 7, 2009 at 1:30 PM | link to this | reply

How lucky, Kabu, that you survived all that and got through to enjoy

Canada and Wiley with your mind intact and your understanding of it all so beautifully complete. It's a tough, real story of adversity and the triumph of the human spirit, told with sensitivity and grace.

posted by Pat_B on November 7, 2009 at 12:16 PM | link to this | reply

Oh, my Sweet Grandmummy...this was so painfully sad for me to read.  Your Dad caring for your mum far too long reminds me so much of my Granddad caring for Nana until the day she died.

You see, she had Alzheimer's Disease, too.

I love you, Grandmummy...

posted by lovelyladymonk on November 7, 2009 at 11:31 AM | link to this | reply

Kabuiepie-;)

Sad beyond measure for me, to have lived through such pain over your mum must have been terrible for you love. I am so happy you have peace here with me, together we are blessed. Now about your cat, let him up out of the basment.LOL

posted by WileyJohn on November 7, 2009 at 11:19 AM | link to this | reply