Go to Kabu Speaks
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- Go to Last Leaf...constructive criticism welcome.
VERY nice!
posted by
_teddypoet_
on
November 5, 2009
at
3:12 PM
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Re:
sam444 tank you dear Sam I do appreciate such advice from such a poet. We are down tothe last days of prayer vigil
posted by
Kabu
on
November 3, 2009
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5:40 PM
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WOW! How poignant with the use of 'no bruise'! The unseen bruises are so damaging! The theme of the last leaf is outstanding and superb! I could see the last leaf on the tree, the one that stays for days; that said, it illuminated the imagery! I always rewrite because I can find ways to improve the imagery! the concept and word placement were very congruous so I think I would stay away from changing and moving things around! It may be one of those poems where you put it to rest for a time, then reflect and see if you need to make any adjustments, or see anything else for that matter! It drives the point fueld by awesome imagery! Your sam I am
posted by
sam444
on
November 3, 2009
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4:35 PM
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Re:
elinjo thank you love; expressing and ejecting.
posted by
Kabu
on
November 3, 2009
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3:30 PM
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Re:
lovelyladymonk love you too baby girl
posted by
Kabu
on
November 3, 2009
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3:29 PM
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You effectively express your anger in that poem.
posted by
elinjo
on
November 3, 2009
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11:47 AM
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Beautiful, Grandmummy. I love you...
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on
November 3, 2009
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10:32 AM
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Re:
snowview and thanks for popping in here to read me too.
posted by
Kabu
on
November 3, 2009
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8:23 AM
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Excellent; very well expressed! Thanks very much for your visits and kind comments. Caught up with your last few posts today, and enjoyed all of them---sorry I didn't manage to leave comments. Have a good day! Nita.
posted by
snowview
on
November 3, 2009
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8:21 AM
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Re:
TAPS. how wonderful, yes that's what the last leaf means but I need to add Pat's suggestion to really bring it out. More work to be done.
posted by
Kabu
on
November 3, 2009
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8:21 AM
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Re: Kabu
Troosha perhaps one day on an empty beAch I willemit that last scream. What a great thought.
posted by
Kabu
on
November 3, 2009
at
8:19 AM
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Re: Your words are evocative of too much that needs forgetting.
Pat_B I hear you darling and mostly my days are filled with joy. Just now and then the nightmares return....but less and less.....I think I can add in what you were suggesting. Willgive it serious thought. Thank you dear one.
posted by
Kabu
on
November 3, 2009
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8:18 AM
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Re: Very heartening
freeflyinbird thank you for commenting dear Amy; love back to you.
posted by
Kabu
on
November 3, 2009
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8:10 AM
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Re:
elysianfields well sweetpea Kabuski loves you back.and thank you for the comments. Time heals all and this is a way to aid time.
posted by
Kabu
on
November 3, 2009
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8:09 AM
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Re: Kabu
Justi thank you dear one.
posted by
Kabu
on
November 3, 2009
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8:02 AM
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Re:
Samantha39 thank you dear for your comments.
posted by
Kabu
on
November 3, 2009
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8:02 AM
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That last leaf was like the straw that broke the camel's back. I do not mourn the passing of that last leaf.
posted by
TAPS.
on
November 3, 2009
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5:33 AM
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Kabu
Tip toeing into that painful place we call reminiscence . I hear a shout, perhaps even a scream, wanting to come out.
posted by
Troosha
on
November 3, 2009
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4:25 AM
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Your words are evocative of too much that needs forgetting.
Amazing how long a time we spend in recovery after the meanness ends. If you can stand to do it, this powerful poem might be strengthened by one specific detail or an especially cutting comment. Just manipulating it with deliberation can weaken its ability to damage.
posted by
Pat_B
on
November 3, 2009
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4:11 AM
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Very heartening
It was a good read.
Love,
Amy
posted by
freeflyinbird
on
November 2, 2009
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10:55 PM
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as introspective ~ of the imagery, just touches the marrow of my bones. I sense trepidation, foreboding - and this is sad ---
Elyse loves you Kabu ~
posted by
elysianfields
on
November 2, 2009
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8:27 PM
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Kabu
Really good, bring it on this is great.
posted by
Justi
on
November 2, 2009
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8:24 PM
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really good, lots of emotion
posted by
Samantha39
on
November 2, 2009
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7:57 PM
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Re: Kabuiepie-;)
WileyJohn it'sallinthe past but because of the book, sometimes a nightmare comes in the night. But less and we laugh more and more and you have healed me.
posted by
Kabu
on
November 2, 2009
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7:02 PM
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Kabuiepie-;)
Eloquent and very sad love, you lived as alone as I was except you had the mental torture from one who couldn't love, just control. Humans never cling to their dreams with such tenacity as at the moment when they are losing faith in them and know it, but do not dare confess it to themselves. You confessed it to God and He gave us each other to love. I love you
posted by
WileyJohn
on
November 2, 2009
at
6:50 PM
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Re:
lustorlove Oh give her a big hug from Auntie Kabu and I wish her all the best. Yipeeeeeeeeee
posted by
Kabu
on
November 2, 2009
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6:40 PM
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thats some heavy duty stuff there, hope no one you know
I will write a blog later but wanted to let you know the beautiful brat starts a new job
posted by
lustorlove
on
November 2, 2009
at
6:17 PM
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