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Pat
Excellent fast paced and lifelike dialogue Pat.
posted by
johnmacnab
on October 26, 2009 at 6:17 AM
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Oh yeh, can't wait to read the whole thing! The way you use conversation to tell the story is so GOOD - and I agree, I could see this written as a play. (Loved WIley & Kabu's getting right in with the characters, LOL!).
posted by
adnohr
on October 25, 2009 at 8:39 PM
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Pat darling,I know that you will believe me when I let you know that it is
me Kabu who has Wiley turned on his head. Love, he don't know whether he's coming or going most days. One lil' smile or frustrated sigh will have him "What's the matter darlin'. Now you just let Wiley fix it for you baby........well you get the idea.......
posted by
Kabu
on October 25, 2009 at 7:38 PM
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PatB
Great writing but ya gotta be kidding. Woman head of the household??? Kabu head of this household? Nah. LOL
posted by
WileyJohn
on October 25, 2009 at 6:49 PM
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your dialogue is so real.One day you must write a play.
posted by
Kabu
on October 25, 2009 at 10:05 AM
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Zombies
As I read this, I got caught up with the characters, knowing them both from life. The dialogue comes across as the way people really talk. There was only one glitch, where I had to go back and re-read to sort out who says what in the last conversation. I had it backwards the first time through.
Neatly tied up, too, the last lines. (I daresay she charges more for that. 
)
posted by
Ciel
on October 25, 2009 at 7:04 AM
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