Singing In The Bane > Comments on How to kill your elderly parents without even trying.

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My aunt is always going on at my mum about doing too much
for others etc...she is constantly asking me to take the load of of my mum....but my mum enjoys doing things for others - she feels satisfied and felt needed to be asked to do things...I have heard her occasionly moan about such things...but as soon as I step in to take over - she inteferes wanting to do it by herself...this does keep my mum young and her mind occupied...I know she would not want things any other way.

posted by _Symphony_ on March 5, 2009 at 3:33 AM | link to this | reply

Re:
TAPS: I've seen that one as well--- Humanity is capable of so much goodness.  This is one of the features that soils our dignity.

posted by FineYoungSinger on February 27, 2009 at 6:30 AM | link to this | reply

I have seen too much of that sort of thing in my lifetime.  It's never a pretty picture.  One of my favorite movies "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" shows that greediness even though there is no mention of a nursing home.

posted by TAPS. on February 25, 2009 at 4:43 PM | link to this | reply

Re:
Thanks, vogue

posted by FineYoungSinger on February 25, 2009 at 12:24 PM | link to this | reply

Re: It doesn't help older people to treat them like children.
Amen, Pat B.

posted by FineYoungSinger on February 25, 2009 at 12:24 PM | link to this | reply

Re: This is so very true.........
Corbin, I totally agree with you on this.  yes, there are always exceptions, and those should be quite obvious to all readers.  Your HO is shared, my friend.

posted by FineYoungSinger on February 25, 2009 at 12:23 PM | link to this | reply

Re:
hi Sam, He does most of the time-----sometimes he doesn't know his limitations, but do any of us really?  Don't we all overdo it occasionally?  Taking things away from him is totally wrong. 

posted by FineYoungSinger on February 25, 2009 at 12:22 PM | link to this | reply

The "with" is the trick. Too right.

posted by vogue on February 24, 2009 at 8:25 AM | link to this | reply

It doesn't help older people to treat them like children.
And I applaud the guy who's going to do things with his dad rather than for him. What we want is to be valued, to feel the time our kids spend with us is something they look forward to and get reinforcement from -- and not just a measured hour once or twice a month so they can check that obligation off their to-do list.

posted by Pat_B on February 24, 2009 at 5:00 AM | link to this | reply

This is so very true.........
My next door neighbor was 84 on Valentines Day and she walks two miles every morning as the sun rises.....she takes out my garbage cans no matter how I protest......"I did it for your father and I'll keep doing it for you".   It's part of her life, and to change it would have a dastardly impact on her.    To me the nursing home approach is two things, for the kids it's an "out of sight, out of mind" cop out,  for the victim, it's a holding pen for awaiting death.  

Now I know there are exceptions, with real reasons, but generally speaking, our society should be ashamed of how we treat the elderly.....we could learn a lot from the Japanese or Chinese cultures.....JMHO

posted by Corbin_Dallas on February 24, 2009 at 2:41 AM | link to this | reply

Amen! With him is far better than for him! I think he knows his limitations! You are so correct on taking away things takes away from the will to live! sam

posted by sam444 on February 24, 2009 at 2:26 AM | link to this | reply

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