Comments on Mother's Love

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I did not need a diary to know that my mother
did not love me. She was verbally and physically abusive to me everyday as I grew up and her death was as if she finally has given me peace. I am still angry with her. Tom says that someday she will just be a memory that I choose not to think about. I wish that for you as well.

posted by mikes_goddess on August 7, 2008 at 2:51 PM | link to this | reply

yes, I do agree with Wiley in extending our love to you. Like him, I can't
really say anything that will help so I'll just leave you a big hug from my heart. Big Hug 

posted by Kabu on July 22, 2008 at 7:08 PM | link to this | reply

hagi
I am sorry that you have experienced that, and about all I can say or do is be good enough to read you and not try and counsel or anything, just be a listener for you. Is it alright if Kabu and I say; "We love you."

posted by WileyJohn on July 22, 2008 at 7:00 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Oh my. I am sorry you found this out, butO
Oh, right now it is much easier than it was before.

And, after all, one can NEVER be "obliged to love", and that's it. There's really noone to blame. He took the responsibility and she helped me in many ways when I was too old to be taken care of, and she did hide her dislike well enough, so that it wouldn't hurt me... Because now I can take it. Could I have taken it then? I don't know.  

posted by hagi on July 20, 2008 at 10:38 AM | link to this | reply

Oh my. I am sorry you found this out, but
very often I believe that not all women are meant to be mothers and they do the best they can.  Very often we feel its not good enough.  Butll it is because they don't know any better or they would have been better, right?  It's important to love and forgive her, wherever she is, and continue knowing that you have done the right thing. 

posted by Greenfields on July 20, 2008 at 8:26 AM | link to this | reply

This is such a heart-opening story!

Finally, the truth matches all the things you observed and knew inside, that had to be set aside to maintain the fiction that she must have loved you...  How freeing for you, and validating of your inner knowing, that always knew the truth! 

Truth hurts, but not as long or nor is it as damaging as trying to keep a falsehood afloat!

I congratulate you on this difficult rite of passage.

And yes, if she wrote it and left it, it belongs to you now.

I am so envious: my biological mother, who died when I was 3, did not leave such a thing for me.  My step-mother is still with us, but she doesn't talk about such things. 

posted by Ciel on July 18, 2008 at 3:39 PM | link to this | reply

After a long time, how d'you do, hagi?
I sympathise with you.

posted by Kayzzaman on July 18, 2008 at 9:52 AM | link to this | reply

I cannot imagine a mother not loving her daughter or son...this is beyond
me, but I've never had children, only cats. I'm glad you're handling it so well...God bless.

posted by Ariala on July 18, 2008 at 8:32 AM | link to this | reply

Wow....I'm so sorry.
I can't imagine finding out something like that.

posted by Afzal_Sunny7 on July 18, 2008 at 8:26 AM | link to this | reply