Comments on Raving

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I guess hungry can drive one disfuction, this is deep always on top of the

game. Amazing read!

posted by Mystereo on March 13, 2009 at 5:30 PM | link to this | reply

This was wonderful ~ just packed with anticipation and controlled, yet palapable emotion.  Very well-written...You are such a great writer, my dear Poet ~ Elyse

posted by elysianfields on June 30, 2008 at 9:10 PM | link to this | reply

Re: NiteTide

I am glad that you enjoyed the poem.  I hope that the emotional pain did not cause actual cardiac distress.  I wrote the poem based on "The Raven". of course.  It was written for a friend who had been suffering through a period of great distress, awaiting news regarding a promotion that she desperately wanted. She didn't get the promotion, but the poem did lighten her heavy heart.    Regarding your grammar suggestion, it was much appreciated. I have now, and always will have one body.  I have enough problems keeping the one I have now in shape, much less having to worry about two. 

posted by SFJoseph on June 28, 2008 at 7:01 PM | link to this | reply

The confusion, frustration, and anger can be all felt within this poem.  I feel like I can almost hear the crack of the mind as it happens during the wait.....amazing!  If I may be a grammar nazi for just a second:  your line "From my bodies store" - suggests that you have more than one body.  If this is true and was done purposefully, ignore me.  But if you meant from just your one body that you have, then it should be "body's store."  Besides that, I think your poem was just amazing!  My chest just squeezed in emotional pain.  WOW.

posted by NiteTide on June 28, 2008 at 1:19 AM | link to this | reply

This touched me for my own reasons, and isn't that what it's all

about ... touching someone with your words ... great job J

posted by VictoriaP on June 28, 2008 at 1:15 AM | link to this | reply

SFJ

The emotional outburst and the pain is brought out so well as to touch the hearts of readers in a most intense manner. Very well done!

posted by Bhaskar.ing on June 27, 2008 at 10:07 PM | link to this | reply

Excellent! 

posted by Sinome on June 27, 2008 at 9:34 PM | link to this | reply