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Hope I can fell this way soon
Thanks for sharing these thoughts.
posted by
untangel
on
June 24, 2008
at
1:14 PM
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Re: Magnificent!
I really like that word, Greenfields. I don't think its ever been applied to anything of mine before. Thank you!
posted by
TAPS.
on
June 24, 2008
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12:07 PM
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Taps
I’m not sure what I enjoy most about your posts – the quality of the writing (superb!) or the content. I’m always so engaged when I’m reading you though….this I know. You have certainly described the corrosion of a relationship to a tee. Sometimes it’s impossible to temper those “aftershocks”… this I also know.
posted by
Troosha
on
June 24, 2008
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9:22 AM
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Such true
and wise words, here is a hug for them,
and a rose
, take two,
posted by
KaBooM62
on
June 24, 2008
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1:40 AM
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Magnificent!
posted by
Greenfields
on
June 23, 2008
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11:57 PM
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Re: Hi TAPS I am feeling those pangs of a broken heart
So sorry, mysteria. It took me a long time to heal and feel whole again, but time does pass and with it the pain. We were able to remain friends. That helped our situation a lot since we have a slew of grandchildren that we share.
posted by
TAPS.
on
June 23, 2008
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10:02 PM
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Love it!
Very feeling. Just wonderful.
posted by
Kolekshuns
on
June 23, 2008
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9:52 PM
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Very wise words. In the end comes peace, and with peace a new beginning.
posted by
yellowrose55
on
June 23, 2008
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9:43 PM
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Hi TAPS I am feeling those pangs of a broken heart
Love can make you feel so good, better than anything, and so bad, worse than anything.
posted by
mysteria
on
June 23, 2008
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9:08 PM
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It is hard to pass through the phase of dissolution of a special
relaitonship when it comes all on a sudden and without any conscious willingness . Great post as usual . Thanks for sharing the emotional angle of your experience . I can relate to it because I have been through it .
posted by
afzal50
on
June 23, 2008
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8:46 PM
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Re: Re: We don't always understand who the relationship is with...
TAPS, I too find this comment by Ciel the wisest so far..."keeping expectations realistic" is a key to success in life! - Ash
posted by
ash_pradhan
on
June 23, 2008
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8:37 PM
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This post is filled with wisdom and truth.
And that's the truth.
A rose
and a smile
from me! =^. .^= Bo too!
posted by
Whacky
on
June 23, 2008
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8:30 PM
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Nautikos and WileyJohn, The only dissolution of a very special relationship in my life was the one that ended my marriage of 30 years back in 1988. It was very traumatic for both of us, and I'm sure it was also for our four sons. If I had taken my own advice at that time, it would have already been too late for us. I needed to know that stuff and put it to good use starting way back in 1958, but we were both naive and neither of us were mature enough to see what we were doing to each other. It is sad that hind-sight comes too late. But, it is good to learn how to love and respect another no matter how late in life it is.
posted by
TAPS.
on
June 23, 2008
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8:14 PM
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TAPS
So very perceptive and eloquent! I just hope that this was a theoretical discussion, and not one occasioned by a recent, personal experience...
posted by
Nautikos
on
June 23, 2008
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7:51 PM
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TAPS
I wish I had your skill at this writing thing luv, this is so well stated and I find myself praying you haven't had a relationship go south recently because it is so terribly painful when it happens. I love you my friend and you have made me think so much that I will try and write a blog with your post in mind.
posted by
WileyJohn
on
June 23, 2008
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6:00 PM
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No one could have written this better ... and there are very few for
whom I have such respect and admiration for ... you are so right Taps, so very right. The dynamic of almost all relationships are different, one only has to figure out the dynamic and decide, first, if it is doable, and second, acceptance. After one and two, forgiveness comes naturally.
posted by
Departed1
on
June 23, 2008
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6:00 PM
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Taps you write with such honesty and truth. Relationships do have to be
worked at always and sometimes a person can make terrible mistakes. I made several terrible mistakes in my life; all cost me more than I can stand to think about. I don't say I was right and others were wrong but I will say my judgement was at times faulty and too trusting. Not including the wonder Wiley here ofcourse. The one right relationship of my life!
posted by
Kabu
on
June 23, 2008
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5:51 PM
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True, ash_pradhan. Change is an inevitable part of life.
posted by
TAPS.
on
June 23, 2008
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4:26 PM
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Azur, I see my past self in your comment. Its a hard lesson to learn
posted by
TAPS.
on
June 23, 2008
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4:23 PM
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TAPS, these r all good comments..it's all a part of growing up...
relationships do change..not accepting that is asking for trouble..but understanding / accepting that and willingly making apt adjustments is maturity...peace! - Ash :)
posted by
ash_pradhan
on
June 23, 2008
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4:22 PM
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Taps
This is a beautiful insightful piece. It struck a chord with me. I have a special relationship in my life and lately I begun to think that it was, as Ciel said, a relationship with the hopes and expectations applied to that person but my fears were premature. The strength of the friendship has been affirmed. Nevertheless, I have learned much about myself and the expectations and hopes i can inflict on a friendship. It's like putting the friendship in a cage that doesn't fit. (oh I like that description I just used and will use it in my writing. If we constrict something to expectations something's got to give.
posted by
Azur
on
June 23, 2008
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4:21 PM
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Re: We don't always understand who the relationship is with...
What an interesting comment, Ciel. I had to read it twice, the second time really thinking about it. You are a wise woman.
posted by
TAPS.
on
June 23, 2008
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3:37 PM
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We don't always understand who the relationship is with...
When it is not with an actual other person, but with the hopes, fantasies and expectations, one has laid on the other--often a mutual exchange of projections--it creates resentment and loneliness and misunderstanding and disappointment... and those things eventually make the relationship impossible to maintain. Butit takes an explosion, after the parties involved have invested so much of their life, energy, resources and, let's face it, 'face,' to break the illusion, to make facing the truth of the matter acceptible.
I speak from experience... 
posted by
Ciel
on
June 23, 2008
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3:33 PM
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I think I'm about as smart as the next one, but I'm no good at
relationships, especially the bonded-pair kind. I have no idea how to keep such a fragile craft afloat in the least little bit of stormy weather. Used to think I knew, once vowed to give 90 percent if I only got back ten, but that didn't work. The ones who commented ahead of me are right -- your essay is brilliant and touching.
posted by
Pat_B
on
June 23, 2008
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3:02 PM
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TAPS. you are so right...............................
Sometimes the truth can hurt one so bad, it's really hard to tell it. I am so careful when I listen and even more careful about repeating what I hear. The longer I live, I find it harder to trust people and what they say. I'm very cautious when it comes to telling something to someone that I want it to go no further. You, my dear, have people figured out and I hope you gather a large audience on this one. It's great. You are brilliant!
Love, MaggieMae
posted by
MaggieMae
on
June 23, 2008
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2:02 PM
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I agree with you to a certain degree about honesty. I believe that the strongest relationships come from the most honest relationships because when things go wrong, past lies cannot add to the the problem at hand. But that is only from my experience. And I am not talking about brutal honesty that eats away at a person's ego, but kind honesty that let's a person know that even though he/she does not support the other, he/she is still there for the person. For me, I have found that kind honesty has saved me a lot of headaches in the future.
But your words thought provoking on many other levels that I found interesting! Thank you for reading this, and giving me the opportunity to think back on my past!
posted by
NiteTide
on
June 23, 2008
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1:36 PM
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TAPS
An excellent post particularly the last part.
posted by
Justi
on
June 23, 2008
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12:55 PM
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Taps
Your words are beautifully stated.
posted by
Hilow
on
June 23, 2008
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12:40 PM
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