Go to Solita's Nature
- Add a comment
- Go to I was with my ex for 28 years and never got flirted with, except by him.
Re: Living your life while being fair to others.
Thank you, Marilyn is so lucky to have you, and I know you feel lucky to have her. May God bless you both. I appreciate your kind and encouraging words.
Solita
posted by
mothernature
on June 19, 2008 at 8:14 AM
| link to this | reply
Living your life while being fair to others.
Solita,
My heart and my best wishes go out to you. I can speak with authority on your delema. My lady, Marilyn has MS. Her condition is incurable and most likely life shortening. Regardless of whether we spend one more week together or fifteen or twenty more years, I would not ever regret getting to know the singularly unique and memorable person she is. From reading some of your writing, I can tell that you are an intelligent, interesting, articulate person who cares about the feelings of others and understandably fears rejection, pity, loss, suffering, the unknown and the unknowable, what the future holds and how your illness can change the person that you are now. But for your particular illness, that pretty well describes if not most, a great many of us. Your angst is much more compelling and intense than ours, but if you think about it, you are living in he "after" part of your two part life. that divide was crossed when the doctor uttered one word. Every feeling you will ever have, every experience, memory, etc. is more deeply felt and important to you now.
I think that your scrutinizing each new person that you meet, looking for the reaction that you expect, (whatever that reaction might be) is setting yourself up for a short fall, thereby protecting yourself from a long hard one. This is understandable, but you are also precluding all the good that you can find, if you grab onto every precious bit of human contact, each opportunity that your remaing time on earth may offer you. If we all had heard some similar awful truth, we might live very different, more ALIVE lives.
You know that important things about you will change and you will be a different person than the one you are now. Who is that NOT true of? Some people will not be up to the challenge and they won't be the problem. You fear that you could meet someone who might care about you and you would care back. ALL relationships of any kind, come to an end! This is sad, but a fact. Would you wish to have never known your best friend, because one day one of you will leave the other alone? Ease up on yourself, open the doors you are trying to close and realize that we ALL are temporarily able-bodied, if we are lucky, headed for the same place, vulnerable, needy, liked by some, loved by some, human beings and ain't none of us getting out of here alive. Make the most of what life there is left. Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow, but most of us go through our lives like there is all the time in the world. You are one of us humans that can put an intensity into each day, because you can now clearly see the importance in things that we others are too stupid to appreciate. Go for the gusto, kid. Cram a week into every day. You may outlive us all that way.
Guy
posted by
northsage_45
on June 18, 2008 at 7:49 PM
| link to this | reply
posted by
contagion_publishing
on June 18, 2008 at 8:55 AM
| link to this | reply