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Hi Betty,

I will keep your sister in my prayers.

posted by MandaLee on May 18, 2008 at 2:31 PM | link to this | reply

Re: My grandmother went

Whiskey, I fully understand about that sabotaging business.  Sis has a tendency to do such things.  Her children have their hands full with her.

posted by TAPS. on May 17, 2008 at 6:32 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Having a mother who insists on living alone at 86

Thanks, Norwood.  I wish that my older sis could still enjoy such beauty but she is afraid to get out in nature in her condition.

posted by TAPS. on May 17, 2008 at 6:30 AM | link to this | reply

It's hard to look at the old home place and see it gone to rack and ruin,

but the sweet memories can be comforting. I'm not like those feisty old ones who don't want to change their routine and let someone else do the caretaking. In a way, I'm thinking of going early into assisted care, just so I can do my own yard sale, hand out the memorabilia to the ones I want to have them, and not leave a big job of sorting and pitching to the kids. But not just yet.

posted by Pat_B on May 17, 2008 at 5:19 AM | link to this | reply

Having a mother who insists on living alone at 86

and has recently had a fall I think I can understand your concerns as a relative. Many it is for the best but she will miss those home touches espcially if she has lived many years in her home. As we get older we deal with change less and less competently and relish the sameness and familiarity of a place.

I hope it is comfortable for her and she adjusts well and you too. Loved the pic in your most recent post.

posted by Norwood on May 17, 2008 at 4:52 AM | link to this | reply

My grandmother went

into an assisted living village, which was beautiful, at the age of 85 or so. But she sabotaged the arrangement to such an extent that she ended up in a genuine nursing home. The whole process was very sad.

Particularly seeing that the assisted-village was really charming...

posted by Whiskey on May 16, 2008 at 10:44 PM | link to this | reply

it really is a sad time for all who are involved and I feel for your sister for her time of grief and for all of you who love her. Nursing words.....she'll have company, be safer, can go out when and where she wants, will be well cared for ladidah didha....don't really help do they . I'll pray for you all instead.

posted by Kabu on May 16, 2008 at 8:48 PM | link to this | reply

Thank you, WileyJohn.    May vim and vigor and a clear mind be with you (and me) for as long as we need it.

posted by TAPS. on May 16, 2008 at 8:16 PM | link to this | reply

Re: I can quite imagine what this must be like cos I've gone thru a similar

Straightforward, Even though I have already seen my Mom and Dad and one of my sisters go through this, it is hard for me to imagine it for myself.    

posted by TAPS. on May 16, 2008 at 8:15 PM | link to this | reply

I can quite imagine what this must be like cos I've gone thru a similar

transition.

posted by Straightforward on May 16, 2008 at 8:06 PM | link to this | reply

TAPS

That is a difficult transition I'm sure and I'm not looking forward to having to do that anytime soon. I hope all goes well for her TAPS and with you in her corner she is truly blessed luv

posted by WileyJohn on May 16, 2008 at 8:02 PM | link to this | reply

I understand.

 My mother is 84 and she has been home bound for two weeks, because of

 hypertension.  It took two weeks to get it down and she lives alone.  I have

 tried for years to get her to come and live with my daughter and I, but she

 wont do it.  She wants to keep her independence, but it comes a time in life

 when you have to make the best choice for safety and care.  Good luck on

 this one. 

posted by Kolekshuns on May 16, 2008 at 6:57 PM | link to this | reply

Thank you, justi.  We shall see how it goes.  Her daughter is trying to help her find an appropriate place.

posted by TAPS. on May 16, 2008 at 5:23 PM | link to this | reply

TAPS

This will be difficult for her. There are some who fit right into it. I would not be one of those and I don't believe she will be easily coaxed either. I will pray for an easy transition. Be blessed.

posted by Justi on May 16, 2008 at 5:15 PM | link to this | reply

So true, Scriber.  Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

posted by TAPS. on May 16, 2008 at 3:46 PM | link to this | reply

Thank you, Troosha.  I know it is a difficult time for her children too, trying to deal with the problems that have beset their mom.

posted by TAPS. on May 16, 2008 at 3:45 PM | link to this | reply

Thank you, vogue, for that assurance.  I think that perhaps it will be for the best in this instance too.  I hope so.

posted by TAPS. on May 16, 2008 at 3:42 PM | link to this | reply

I can only say from my own mom's life in a residence, that it was the best place for her to be. Perhaps I was very lucky to have found that for her, but then I also looked a long time. Assisted living done by caring professionals is better than assistance given by stressed out and untrained relatives, loving as they may be.

posted by vogue on May 16, 2008 at 1:39 PM | link to this | reply

Taps

Firstly, I am in awe of how you so gracefully wrote of how a home will never be the same once we leave.  Albeit only briefly, I was taken away from my own little reality and could picture each detail of the willow, the birds that have come to know this yard, and the peach tree.  This gentle picture did not prepare me for what then came next; that your sister must enter assisted living.  I hope the transition is not too difficult for her although it won’t be easy leaving her home and all the memories that live there.  

posted by Troosha on May 16, 2008 at 12:53 PM | link to this | reply

good observations. Change is not always for the better, but is often

necessary. 

posted by scriber on May 16, 2008 at 11:41 AM | link to this | reply