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A very interesting set of questions Ariala.............
Although a clean break is probably the wisest way to go; I have to say my "relationship" with my ex (we were married for 29 years) is that of good friends, even though my current partner cannot understand (or should I say fears) this relationship. It is true though that when children are involved you can't help the interaction albeit limited if that is your choice. Ops I see I'm waffling so.......... Take care & God bless
posted by
mariaki
on
May 8, 2008
at
6:03 AM
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I sort of have no choice. LOL
One of my ex's is my best friends boyfriend. It's all cool now though. If my friend and I go out, he just stays home. LOL
posted by
shelly_b
on
May 7, 2008
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3:30 PM
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Well posed question
posted by
Straightforward
on
May 7, 2008
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9:46 AM
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Interesting entry and interesting comments. I am for a clean break, otherwise 'fond memories' can endanger the new relationship especially if you have been with the ex for longer than with the present, which is the normal situation. Thanks for your comment on my posts, ariala. The writing revenue does total up and I hope it gets better in due course.
posted by
vogue
on
May 7, 2008
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9:35 AM
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Troosha, I used to be the same way, but have since come to believe it's not
a healthy practice for anyone involved.
posted by
Ariala
on
May 7, 2008
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9:17 AM
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Ariala
I was notorious for maintaining relationships with ex’s – somehow we managed to part friends and I valued those friendships. When I married Mr. T., however, he had more traditional values which I needed and wanted to respect. He didn’t get the “ex” thing I had going on in my life so although I didn’t make any grand statement to severe those ties I simply let them slide. I/we do, however, have contact with my daughter’s father. When she was going through a difficult time her Dad even came to stay with us for a few weeks and although initially this stretched Mr. T’s boundaries he eventually went with the flow and became friends with Katelyn’s Dad.
posted by
Troosha
on
May 7, 2008
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9:08 AM
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Tough question!
I knew these two sisters who had a bakery. When one divorced with 2 kids, they end-out both working with the new wife of the ex when he re-married (they were actually her 2 bosses). Everyone, ex's and new partners were always invited to events such as X-mas, new year's eve etc. Their own parents were fine with this arrangement as it means that they could see their grand-children often, in fact everyone seems happy about it. It was just a bigger family each time a sister or a brother got divorced and they were 2 sisters and 2 brothers!
As for me, no thank you, I am not open-minded enough to hang out with ex's (on both side!).
Tschüs.
posted by
auslander
on
May 7, 2008
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8:46 AM
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I have to agree with you. I wouldn't be comfortable.
posted by
Kolekshuns
on
May 7, 2008
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8:03 AM
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blackcat, LOL, I'm talking about serious ex's...
posted by
Ariala
on
May 7, 2008
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7:44 AM
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the only way you can hang with an ex is if you were never really in
a serious relationship. But then again, then they wouldn't really be an ex... but just a guy that you used to hang with.... so that probably doesn't apply. LOL
posted by
-blackcat
on
May 7, 2008
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7:36 AM
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Kabu, exactly...and I think that's wise!
posted by
Ariala
on
May 7, 2008
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7:23 AM
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Great topic as usual from you. If there are kids, I agree it's almost
impossible to have a clean break. There is always a wedding or something to bring everyone into the same place. But when you are in my situation I pray daily that I never see him again. I would never put dear Wiley into a situation where he had to see the ex. ...............
posted by
Kabu
on
May 7, 2008
at
7:22 AM
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