Comments on Reverie

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Like a brigde over trouble waters, awsome read my heart is touched flames!

Whoa! WE ALL NEED SOMEBODY TO LEAN ON!

posted by Mystereo on February 7, 2009 at 2:17 AM | link to this | reply

Very beautiful piece!!!

posted by Soul_Builder101 on January 23, 2008 at 9:55 AM | link to this | reply

Afzal, Thank you for all the stars and roses.

I'm going to assume that means you like it. 

posted by TAPS. on January 22, 2008 at 6:23 PM | link to this | reply

posted by afzal50 on January 22, 2008 at 6:00 PM | link to this | reply

Enjoyed reading them.

posted by Angesom_AG on January 22, 2008 at 3:01 PM | link to this | reply

Would love to see it...!

posted by Ariala on January 22, 2008 at 2:43 PM | link to this | reply

Not at all, Ariala. I asked for it.

It will be interesting to see if I can do something with it in regards to your red marks.  I will run it past you again if I do.

posted by TAPS. on January 22, 2008 at 2:39 PM | link to this | reply

TAPS,

Your poem is lovely, but if I were an editor, here is what I'd tell you...forgive me if I am speaking out of line:

 

Near to my heart (cliche)
those special days of yesteryear (sappy, telling not showing)
when feelings, crystal clear and sharp (now we're getting to details)
as waters from the mountain streams (good)
cascading fast and cold (good)
from year to year (losing momentum)
with love untold. (no)

You were my all, (show, don't tell)
my reverie when days were not
exciting as I thought they ought,
and hard to take, with pain,
yet no regret or fear
that you would leave
me standing here. (this whole paragraph is telling, but now showing)

Always a bridge,
a hand outstretched to draw me back
across the flowing streams of life
that would have carried me afar
when I would go away,
with no desire
or thought, to stay. (this is an excellent verse)

Now, memory
is what I have of days gone by, (too sing songy and cliche)
the life we shared washed down the drain (cliche)
when once we ruled the mountains high. (better)
there's still no weath'ring blast (good)
could ever fail
to keep love fast

Despite all my notes, I like it. LOL

posted by Ariala on January 22, 2008 at 2:33 PM | link to this | reply

I'm no poet Taps...

...never overly fond of poetry...but yours has me in TEARS!!  Beautiful!!  Sad..

posted by ginnieb on January 22, 2008 at 2:27 PM | link to this | reply

Thank you, jesse_jean

I should have been a poet.  Its so satisfying.

posted by TAPS. on January 22, 2008 at 2:21 PM | link to this | reply

Ariala, that means a lot coming from yo.

Thanks.   I always feel that I should run my poems by you since you helped me with that one long ago.

posted by TAPS. on January 22, 2008 at 2:20 PM | link to this | reply

Gorgeous photo and beautiful poem, TAPs

posted by Ariala on January 22, 2008 at 2:09 PM | link to this | reply

WOW

Taps, the picture and the words are so beautifully written and spoken from the heart.  jesse

posted by jesse_jean on January 22, 2008 at 2:00 PM | link to this | reply

Absolutely Beautifully written TAPS! Thank you for sharing so many 'Love'

memories! Beautifll.Chris.

posted by Scramble on January 22, 2008 at 1:04 PM | link to this | reply

Magnificent work, my friend!

posted by _teddypoet_ on January 22, 2008 at 12:53 PM | link to this | reply