Go to Is He A Hazzard To You? Is He Making You Sick?
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Familiar words; been there done that. He was a very affectionate and loving
man, which along with all we had in common, he was my best friend. When things went south, which he found out a year after we split up was diabetes related, he began treating me horrid. After three years of respect, affection and loving compassion, his almost sudden disrespect and degradation of me was devastating. It took me awhile to figure out he wanted me at arms length, never close enough to learn his secret. He complained that I wasn't attractive enough, that I was overweight (which I wasn't), that I didn't dress provocative enough, that he didn't like the smell of my shampoo, that my smoking was turning him off (he also smoked), that he would need to 'learn to love a larger woman.' He hurt me beyond repair with his ego-lies.
I was overwhelmed with grief that he was willing to mistreat me and lie to me to push me away instead of sharing his problem. I was also overwhelmed with grief that he didn't trust me enough to know I would not only understand but would stand beside him and help him figure out what the problem was. He confessed the problem a year after we separated, apologized and asked if we could try again. I told him I had forgiven him but there was no trying agin. It was a year too late and it was for the better anyway; he was more of a friend. I missed my best friend for a long time but we've both since moved on.
Not the point; I have really delved into this problem and have learned it isn't as much the incapacity as it is the attitude of the male ego and unwillingness to deal with the issue that causes the marital fallout. The true heart of a man loving a woman is after all trust and without trust, there is no marriage. The male ego and especially this issue is smack dab in the center of the heart of trust.
posted by
roadscross
on December 29, 2007 at 7:58 PM
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Congratulations..you are discovering the true meaning of marriage..
everlasting friendship, not hot sex !
posted by
ash_pradhan
on December 29, 2007 at 7:38 PM
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Marriage is a hard road to walk....
I have been married 10 years and have been walking down that same area in life with my other half!!! But at least I can say hard work and A lot of patience pays off!!!
posted by
tyleness
on December 29, 2007 at 7:28 PM
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