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Translation issues aside, I enjoyed the thought behind the words.
And the "call and response" of the poems.  Lovely description of a hollow soul who has discarded the humanity of real bonding for the hope that variety will fill him. I used to know a collector, and he was, like the subject of this poem, empty and sleeping alone even when someone lay beside him.

posted by Pat_B on December 6, 2007 at 2:59 PM | link to this | reply

No need to be sorry dear. I do understand that repetition in the translated
version will not carry as much sense as it would do in Arabic, because the same line can be interpreted differently, and meaningfully in Persian or Urdu, but not in English, or any other language. That is the difficulty with language, just as I said in my earlier post that the taste of honey cannot be conveyed in words, unless the one to whom it is being told, has tasted honey himself. I too, at times, take this writer's liberty, just as you have poetic licence and so why not a writer's? You have done more that full justice in changing it to something that, to you, appeared more appealing to share with your readers. Is what I say Okay, my dear lindo G? You are losing nothing of your beauty, or charm, so cheer up.

posted by Bhaskar.ing on December 6, 2007 at 8:56 AM | link to this | reply

Too many "I guess"s in that comment
seems lindo G is losing her touch

posted by lindo on December 6, 2007 at 12:04 AM | link to this | reply

I have a confession to make Bhaskar
I tampered with the translation. In te original poem it is "lying beside me" in both lines, i have no idea why it felt wrong to simply repeat the expression tiwce. I guess becuase the expression can be interpreted both ways in Arabic, and in a sense it was intended as a statement of lonliness. I guess this is the porblem with translations, you can either translate words or you can translate what you understood of them.  I guess i should stick to the letter of the origianl text next time. SORRY!

posted by lindo on December 5, 2007 at 11:48 PM | link to this | reply

Kabu
This post was definetly not intended for you, i'll have something more in tune to your current state of heart soon.

posted by lindo on December 5, 2007 at 11:43 PM | link to this | reply

lindoG
The poems are passionate yearnings, one, of a soul pure and treated like just another object, and the other, whose sorrows are of the invisible kind, which is heightened by the last line, "I feel that no one is sleeping with me", as different from "lying beside me" in the previous line

posted by Bhaskar.ing on December 5, 2007 at 9:15 PM | link to this | reply

You love me...depends who says it and how it's said.
But then this is a comment from Kabu in love with Wiley so ------------------------

posted by Kabu on December 5, 2007 at 8:07 AM | link to this | reply

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