Comments on When someone you love and who reciprocates says he doesn't want to carry on

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Wow, another loaded one! Why on earth would any woman be talking to

a man about marriage if there is a chance he could lose interest in the first place? Marriage may be an untimate goal for some, but I would think after dating long enough to even discuss marriage, one shouldn't be losing interest....huh....and the first part of the question; if someone feels 'not good enough' and in a selfless manner would not marry another for not feeling lack of worthiness....(thinking), the gentleman man have low self esteem, but that does not mean it is how others perceive him and obviously isn't the way she perceives him, but the relationship is not on level ground if he does not see his self worth. I believe low self esteem is a marriage breaker right up there with betrayed trust and financial hardships.  I'm going to give you a for instance;

Like generally attracts like (in generalizing); people with low self esteem most generally attract those with low self esteem and contrarily, those with healthy self esteem generally attract those with healthy self esteem. I was once the former and dated what many girls refer to as 'bad boys' or heart breakers. A man with low self esteem tends to pull the woman in his life beneath him, keeping her under his thumb by withholding compliments or purposefully avaiding attempts to build her up, support her or aide her toward her dreams, goals and full potential, because he is stuck in his own self worthlessness....and the sad part really is, because the woman already has esteem issues, she will not only put up with the degradation, but will sink lower and lower into believing it.

A woman (or gentleman) with healthy esteem, wouldn't put up with any form of degradation. A person with healthy esteem helps to build people towards their goals and dreams, cheering them on with (honest) praise and support but an unhealthy person will not rise to that support with gratitude or honest reciprocation, but rather take advantage, gain temporary ego and even grow to believe THEY may be too good for the person or better than the person cheering them on....because self esteem cannot be obtained from others, that is why it is called SELF esteem. The self esteem must exist prior to receiving support from the cheering squad, otherwise it becomes self defeative! ~Just my two cents worth!Blessings~ 

posted by roadscross on December 3, 2007 at 8:04 PM | link to this | reply

life moves on
Sadly sometimes it feels as if it is leaving us behind.. but that is just a feeling, and feelings change, perceptions change.. sometimes it is time for quiet reflection... giving time to time, proves that like the seasons, good feelings return.To answer your question,  I think, it means that the person is not ready for marriage, wrong timing, wrong place..

posted by nemonemo on December 2, 2007 at 9:49 AM | link to this | reply

I believe the institution of the term ‘marriage’ has become
a less than desirable goal for many based upon the ancient views of what ‘marriage’ may once have been considered. I was married once and miserable. My folk shared a love/hate relationship. The commonalities holding them together for fifty years were stubborn refusal to failure and respect; although they both tried, neither one gave in to the degradation, each holding firm to self respect.

This taught me several values; respect, commitment and integrity but above all; to be committed meant institutionalized!! Lol….I refused to be miserable and have made my life happy alone, following my dreams.

It is difficult for me to understand how there could be any consideration of marriage whatsoever if there was a possibility of lost interest, the variables are on opposing ends of the relationship spectrum. A polite way of saying goodbye would have been forthcoming from about the ninety day mark obviously. How could one reciprocate love and then loose interest?

If two souls find one another, each reciprocating the true meaning of love, the term commitment wouldn’t be viable, it would just be; each would possess the desire to share their lives on terms desirable by both.

Stating; I love you but you’re too good for me simply means, I do not even have enough love for myself to afford you any. One should not propose to give love if they do not possess enough to give.

posted by Layna_Ann on November 19, 2007 at 12:26 PM | link to this | reply

Ouch!
I'm sorry to say, but it sounds like they are ready to move on but lack the courage to tell you so. The care enough not to want to hurt someone's feelings, but the evasiveness hurts worse than the truth.

posted by Dark_Heart on November 19, 2007 at 11:05 AM | link to this | reply

New Comment on When someone you love
Fear of commitment.  Fear of failure.  Sense of unworthiness.  Poor self-image. Lying prick.  joab

posted by joab1 on November 15, 2007 at 8:03 AM | link to this | reply

I tend to agree with Mandy on this one

posted by I-R-William on November 14, 2007 at 7:12 AM | link to this | reply

I think its the latter.

posted by Amanda__ on November 12, 2007 at 5:34 AM | link to this | reply

Straightforward
It sounds like a fear of committment to me.   But, who am I to say? 

posted by TAPS. on November 11, 2007 at 8:17 AM | link to this | reply

a polite way of saying i want something different, maybe someone that is
not as good as he is, maybe he needs a needy person.

posted by callista22001 on November 11, 2007 at 6:40 AM | link to this | reply

straightforward
maybe he doesn't want to get committed.

posted by richinstore on November 10, 2007 at 8:48 PM | link to this | reply

...or
...he could be dealing with some issues....just a thought....

posted by sherri7 on November 10, 2007 at 7:53 PM | link to this | reply