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Re: Rainy
this was a great comment! thanks... I love that you both didn't feel the need to rehash the issue...

posted by rainydayinmay on June 26, 2007 at 12:37 PM | link to this | reply

Rainy

Friendship has to be reciprocal. I have a friend of 25 years or more who really pissed me off a number of years back. I was the brunt of her gossip and she was going through a real “me, me, me,” phase. She even walloped me with her purse one evening when I brought up a parking ticket she hadn’t paid. Yikes! So what did I do? I shut down all contact and thought to myself “when she’s good and ready she’ll contact me”. Sure enough about 4 months later she did call and invited me out for lunch. We didn’t discuss the purse bashing incident nor did we revisit the self-absorbed phase she had gone through. We just had lunch. I don’t believe to this day we’ve ever discussed our falling out. I can’t say that we picked up where we left off but we did rebuild a strong friendship and it is now quietly understood that it takes two to keep the friendship going.

So don’t be so hard on yourself about taking a step back and feeling torn as to what degree of friendship you should extend. You may never receive the apology you feel you’re entitled to so the decision becomes – can you let it go and renew the friendship or has the betrayal left too much of a stain.

posted by Troosha on June 26, 2007 at 10:38 AM | link to this | reply

posted by circuit on June 26, 2007 at 6:29 AM | link to this | reply

great advice... I think sometimes we as people have a way of dehumanizing people...

posted by rainydayinmay on June 26, 2007 at 6:01 AM | link to this | reply

rainydayinmay
Everyone is vulnerable, even close friends and one can never completely know and understand the feelings of another.  That's why forgiveness is so important.

posted by TAPS. on June 26, 2007 at 4:05 AM | link to this | reply

Chili is wise. Just because she sent you a card, it doesn't necessarily follow that she has changed her habits of mistreating you. Heck, just for fun I am nice to people I don't like sometimes. (ok, thats not true, I do try to be kind to most everyone, notice OTA said ..most... everyone, I am working on this character flaw in myself.. really I am..LOLOL) . So where was I, oh  yes.. wait to see. Let the days unfold, and be at peace with all that you do. ~Peace, OTA

posted by Blue_feathers on June 26, 2007 at 3:33 AM | link to this | reply

If you do not leave the ball in her court, how will you know? Well done.

posted by Chilitree on June 25, 2007 at 9:31 PM | link to this | reply