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Re: What you are describing
thanks, Greenfields. I definatly agree that there are situations which cause for this. We are, however, going to get them. We reached a compromise and I think, in the end, everyone will be happy. I am all about sentiment and I want to pass on a happier piece of my childhood, to my own adopted daughter (who came from a similar horrible background.)
Besides, I wanted her to know the woman I loved so much. At least now she will have the same china to feast off of at Christmastime, and hand down to her own children :)
posted by
rainydayinmay
on June 16, 2007 at 7:30 PM
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What you are describing
I think happens in almost all families. That's the nature of families I sometimes think. We atach oursleves to earthy inanimate objects and forget about the real stuff. Sorry for what you are going through. I would just leave the china. They were never your daughther's to begin with. You can get something for her, as she can for herself. Live in the present and leave the past to those who want to cling to it. Send the transgressors love and forgiveness and move on.
posted by
Greenfields
on June 16, 2007 at 6:14 PM
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thank you all for your VERY kind words. Years ago I was the spitting image of what my family believed me to be. I have fought hard to see worth in myself and rise above that!
and, I will be going to texas in two weeks to get my dishes. They were willing to work it out, as long as I was there to tranfer them from their car to mine.
we are staying longer, making a vacation out of it and seeing an old friend of mine from high school.
I get the impression though, that my family members aren't interested in seeing much more of us than that. Ceste' la Vie...
posted by
rainydayinmay
on June 16, 2007 at 1:06 PM
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RAINYDAYINMAY......
I understand your pain, and sentiment.....oh the daggers you do not see they hide well don't they? I hope you can find your way to get your china, I believe a piece of your grandma will always live in your daughters heart through your memory of her whether you get them or not....love to you
posted by
Irish3
on June 16, 2007 at 4:47 AM
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that's just absolutely disgusting that your family has treated you like that. And I's also like to say kudos to you for not fighting over money or possessions of value. I'm sure your grandmother is absolutely proud and honoured that all you wanted was her china
posted by
dark_mistress
on June 16, 2007 at 1:31 AM
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rainydayinmay
So sorry to read you've had to endure this. I don't know what happens to people when there's a death, but quite often they turn into someone I don't even know anymore. If you want the dishes for your daughter, I think that's a wonderful, loving gesture. Don't give up, get through. Focus on the dishes, visualize them in your hands and they will somehow find a way to you. I just know it.
posted by
FoliageGold
on June 16, 2007 at 12:03 AM
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That really bites.
I am the outcast in my family but haven't had to go through anything like that.
posted by
SuccessWarrior
on June 15, 2007 at 11:57 PM
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Hello rainy ... thank you for sharing this episode of your life ... I went
through some thing very similar when my father died ...
posted by
Chilitree
on June 15, 2007 at 11:14 PM
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Dear One
I am so sorry this has happened to you. If the will was not probated there may not need to be a fight for your Mom to get her share because it may have been done illegally. Never mind that. I am so sorry your heart has been so damaged by other's feelings of shame. Poor girl love yourself you are not guilty of anything. The guilt lies with the person who molested you and family should be supporting you. I don't know them I am only saying you deserve to be treated well, if they won't, do that at least do it for yourself. I am truly sorry about this.
posted by
Justi
on June 15, 2007 at 11:01 PM
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posted by
riri0322
on June 15, 2007 at 7:30 PM
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One thing they could never take away from you
Do you know that there is one thing that they can never take away from you... its your love for your gramma. and hers for you. that is what lives on and you can share the memories you had with her with your daughter.. material things break and get lost and get taken away over time but the heart energy between two always remains.. dwell up on the good memories and let all the rest go.
posted by
MOONWALKERENERGY
on June 15, 2007 at 7:30 PM
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My dear child, forgive me for calling you this when you are an adult but
Im feeling teary and enraged for the child who has been hurt and is still being hurt by these self-serving ,unthinking adults. Nobody deserves this. I hope you find a way to get your china. I know exactly what you mean about giving your daughter something of an heirloom. After all you were torn away from your family when they should have been closing ranks to protect a 12 year old child. The money is not important but the principle is. You sound like a good mum,able to give your daughter the love you missed out on. You right about Karma. I believe you reap what you sow. Dont be surprised if those aunts need you one day....
posted by
proc
on June 15, 2007 at 2:56 PM
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Thanks for sharing !
posted by
afzal50
on June 15, 2007 at 8:34 AM
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