Comments on HAS YOUR FAMILY EVER TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF YOU?

Go to QUESTIONS TO PONDER - Add a comment - Go to HAS YOUR FAMILY EVER TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF YOU?

JBird79

Thanks for sharing about your situations. If there were mistakes, I hadn't noticed. I'm a very bad speller personally. Haha.

One of the problems I think is that I was raised to not try to defend myself in any way, but just to do as I was told.

posted by Afzal_Sunny7 on March 17, 2007 at 10:49 PM | link to this | reply

disregard...

...the 1st of my two posts...had typos and a spacing problem at the bottom...top on says the same stuff, but without the mistakes...at least I hope...been a long day ;) I just couldn't leave it as it was, b/c somehow I managed to put an extra 'e' in college, in place of the 'o'...if I'd have left that, my degree should be given away.

posted by JBird79 on March 17, 2007 at 10:45 PM | link to this | reply

Sunny,

I have a flaw that insists that I don't let people down, so yeah, I've been taken advantage of A LOT in my life, and even by family at times, but rarely my immediate family.

I'd say that you should definitely have the decision making power with regards to the car, without question. My parents put $5K down on the car I have now, as a college graduation present and I financed the remaining $8K, and they've never once suggested that the car is theirs, or made any remarks about how I couldn't have afforded it without their help, even thought that was the case at the time I bought it, b/c I had just finished school so I wasn't saving up much money b/c I wasn't working more than p/t here and there around my school schedule, and the car I had then was nailed and totalled, but I only got $1800 for it b/c it was old with high mileage.

I find myself being taken advantage of more by friends and my fiancee's family now than anyone else. In particular, she has one brother who will do things like calling me saying he needs me to do him a favor, ASAP. Once he called me from BestBuy to say he needed me to come over within the next 5 minutes (I live close to our local mall) so he could get two laptops on special for another brother and sister of his. He stressed that the clerk couldn't hold them and the limit was 1 per person, but he was by himself, so he said to come over, then he just hung up, as if I'd willingly agreed. I silently protested, but b/c it was not just for his own selfish motives, I went and did it, but a few other times he's tried to pull stuff like that and I've flat out said, "No can do" b/c at some point you get sick of people taking advantage of your generosity. I hope your vehicle situation will work out well for you.

posted by JBird79 on March 17, 2007 at 10:42 PM | link to this | reply

Sunny,

I have a flaw that insists that I don't let people down, so yeah, I've been taken advantage of A LOT in my life, and even by family at times, but rarely my immediate family.

I'd say that you should definitely have the decision making power with regards to the car, without question. My parents put $5K on the car I have now, as a cellege graduation present and I financed the remaining $8K, and they've never once suggested that the car is theirs, or made any remarks about how I couldn't have afforded it without their help, even thought that was the case at the time I bought it, b/c I had just finished school so I wasn't saving up much money b/c I wasn't working more than p/t here and there around my school schedule, and the car I had then was nailed and totalled, but I only got $1800 for it b/c it was old with high mileage.

posted by JBird79 on March 17, 2007 at 10:41 PM | link to this | reply

Afzal

Sometimes this is true.

posted by Afzal_Sunny7 on March 17, 2007 at 8:32 AM | link to this | reply

Justi

It' sounds like you are a strong person. I'm getting there, but I guess I'm still taken aback at times by these things.

posted by Afzal_Sunny7 on March 17, 2007 at 8:32 AM | link to this | reply

Carl.... Where were you 20 years ago with this advice?! LOL

I have since found that out and wish I had put that money into a house instead of a car.
Thanks for the advice, my friend.

posted by Afzal_Sunny7 on March 17, 2007 at 8:30 AM | link to this | reply

Here's to you finding a really good job that pays a ton of money

so you do not have to go to your family for anything and you can buy what you want to buy in your own name. BTW, I would strongly advise buying a house before a car, despite the angst wrapped around the car right now. A car is an exposed asset; it depreciates to next to nothing as soon as you drive it off the lot; it is possible to live without it and it would be preferable if more of us did so; when you get old and decrepid, you will not want to depend on being able to drive it.

Carl Pet

posted by cpklapper on March 16, 2007 at 9:08 PM | link to this | reply

Sunny

I am very sorry this is happening to you. I have no family except my husband, my daughter and his children whom I count mine. I have never been taken advantage of by them. I am a very strong person I guess they would think twice. I don't get angry I just sit down and question anyone who wants something from me and has no right to it. If they wanted to take it before I am through in a very sweet way they wish an elephant had sat on them instead.

posted by Justi on March 16, 2007 at 3:20 PM | link to this | reply

You can't help it . There is always someone taking advantage of someone

in the family . Good post . I have sent the link .

posted by afzal50 on March 16, 2007 at 11:12 AM | link to this | reply