Comments on Have You Ever Really Disliked Someone You Don't Even Know?

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Rachel

I think your last part of your post hit the nail on the head – we hate to think that we’ve been forgotten or replaced. It’s a strange feeling (rather self absorbed when you think about it) but when an extremely special relationship falls by the wayside for whatever reason (distance, changing lives) we want to know the other person still cherishes it in the same way we do. Recently, when I was experiencing pangs of remembrance, I decided to send two people a note. To each person I wrote extremely heartfelt thoughts, shared with them the reasons why I considered them special, reflected upon moments we shared that brought me great joy, and lifted all barriers and told them that I loved them then and I love them now. Well… much to my surprise I received an equally expressive and tender response in return. I didn’t necessarily do it for affirmation (who am I kidding). My motivation was more, as my notes had said, to not let important thoughts linger in the pool of unsaid.
The friendships will not rekindle – distance, lives traveling different paths – but it sure felt good to receive a reply which reinforced that I was not alone in carrying in my heart special and wonderful feelings about these people.
Worked for me…

Very well written post, by the way.

posted by Troosha on January 23, 2007 at 2:47 PM | link to this | reply

Rachel -

True friends are rare treasures. I know of several wonderful friends that I had in college that I haven’t seen in years and still I miss them dearly. I remember having close high school friends that faded away when I went off to college and it seems that many college friends similarly faded away when I went off to work. It’s not that you don’t love them anymore, its just that broader circumstances now separate you. The mature setting for finding friends is somewhat more difficult because the people around you are more diversified (in age, tastes, etc.) and definitely busier. Nevertheless, there are most certainly wonderful friends about you, waiting to be discovered, like secret treasures.

posted by telemachus on January 23, 2007 at 12:50 PM | link to this | reply

You have mixed feelings about both your old friend and her new friend.

I can understand why. Life is hard.
-^..^- Bo

posted by Whacky on January 22, 2007 at 9:08 PM | link to this | reply

Rachel

You two girls spent many very formative years together.  Though you're not close like you used to be I think you miss that connection.  I also think you treasure that connection so much that maybe you unconsiously feel threatened that the new friend will take away the feelings you still have inside.  Does that make sense?  You're perfectly human and perfectly normal.  I really enjoyed this post. 

posted by Presley on January 22, 2007 at 8:57 PM | link to this | reply

It is really very difficult to handle such inner conflicts . Good post .

posted by afzal50 on January 22, 2007 at 8:50 PM | link to this | reply