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ditto what the wise editormum said below--
cannot add anything to that. However, I STILL can't believe you used the words "this blogger" in your headline!! LOL. Maybe I can't love you unconditionally after that! ;-)
posted by
Julia.
on December 21, 2006 at 12:53 PM
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Well, editormum said it all.
Still it is something to think about.
posted by
Whacky
on December 19, 2006 at 9:32 PM
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What editormum said
I think your motives are good, personally. I know that I watch myself here on Blogit all the time, because I hate flame wars, and I don't want to start one. Flame wars on Blogit are all too common, and it seems as if one breaks out here every few months. If I didn't worry about starting a flame war or a massive attack on my blogs, I myself would be far more inclined to share my views on many issues.
Thanks for linking to me, BTW.
posted by
kidnykid
on December 19, 2006 at 3:02 PM
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Because...
well, one of a few things that spring to mind.
1. You don't truly believe, deep down in your soul, that this friend really loves you unconditionally. You think that there is a chance that this person will reject you if you shock her or shake her tree once too often, or if you do something that she considers really heinous.
2. You knowledge that your friend loves you for just who you are, unconditionally, no matter what, is knowledge that you have in your mind, but you don't trust it.
3. You know that your friend is right, but you don't want to admit it. (This is usually the one I am guilty of.)
4. You self-censor with this friend because you do not want to take advantage of her unconditional love and good-will by assaulting her with words, actions, or attitudes that you know she dislikes, disagrees with, or disapproves of. You respect her enough not to want to disappoint or disgust her.
Number 4 is hard for people to comprehend, sometimes. I love my children to the depths of my being. Absolutely nothing could make me not love them. But I cannot stand to see them pick their noses. It's nasty. I'm going to be disgusted when I see that, and I'm going to let them know that I think it's gross. I love the person, but I don't like or approve of what he is doing. My kids know that I love them unconditionally, but they try to hide their nose-picking from me because they know that I think it's nasty, and I'll ask them to stop.
Don't worry about self-censoring. It's healthy and good most of the time. It means that you understand that relating to other people means showing deference to their beliefs and quirks. It means that you respect them enough to restrain yourself from shocking or disgusting others. And that's a good thing.
posted by
editormum
on December 19, 2006 at 5:21 AM
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Interesting post.
posted by
afzal50
on December 19, 2006 at 5:03 AM
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Jemmie211
"This writer," whoever he/she is, is not only far too cautious, but dishonest, and, therefore, untrustworty, as well! My opinion.
posted by
GEPRUITT
on December 19, 2006 at 1:42 AM
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