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PassionFlower,
I have been gone because I have had to focus on me. New to the Blogit community to begin with I found myself able to come here and escape, righteously so.
After eliminating all the outside influences in my physical life and focusing with determination on picking up my own pieces, taking on responsibility and moving on my fortitude has created wonderful opportunities and the possibilities are endless. Life is a struggle for some of us, but if it isn't happening the way you want it to you ahve to change your recipe. That's what I have been doing. Changing my recipe.
You are wise, You can do the same.
So good to hear from you! Peace, sincerely. Warm Wishes...
Moxie 
posted by
Moxie_Maven
on
December 27, 2006
at
12:03 AM
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Thanks Moxie...My heart may lead me astray though.
Happiest holidays to you as well....God Bless!
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 26, 2006
at
11:49 PM
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reply
Follow your Heart, PassionFlower.
Then the rest will follow in time.
Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!
Peace to you.
Moxie
posted by
Moxie_Maven
on
December 26, 2006
at
11:35 PM
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Thanks Nautikos....
Appreciate the comment.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 20, 2006
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1:39 PM
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Passionflower
I actually don't think you need any
more advice than you already have, but since I'm here I'll give it anyway: Forget about it, or rather
him, the cool guy you'll never love...
posted by
Nautikos
on
December 20, 2006
at
11:58 AM
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I tried that Manda...he's not good at dealing with honest comments.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 20, 2006
at
8:11 AM
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passion, be honest w/ the new guy.
posted by
MandaLee
on
December 20, 2006
at
8:06 AM
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Thanks Tim...I won't...but I may run away...
The highway is calling to me.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 19, 2006
at
8:02 PM
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reply
passion
I never had you pegged for someone that would "settle" so I don't think that you will
posted by
TIMMYTALES
on
December 19, 2006
at
7:53 PM
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reply
Tim...thanks but I really doubt I'll ever actually LOVE this guy...
Just searching for a way out of here.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 19, 2006
at
7:50 PM
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reply
Troosha, thanks for the advice...I'm working on it.
It's taking me longer to get my license than I thought. Some days it feels like I can't go on. Christmas is a bad time of year for me...I struggle with depression.
We've all got our shit to deal with though. Some night I will pack my suitcases and disappear into the darkness.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 19, 2006
at
7:49 PM
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reply
PASSION
Marriage is a huge step......maybe you should date a while longer and see if your chemicals mix at some point
posted by
TIMMYTALES
on
December 19, 2006
at
7:35 PM
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reply
PF
Whysper made a comment earlier on the women don't need a man to define themselves. I've ready several of your posts where you seem to be struggling with "Should I be with this guy, or that guy, or stay with Richard?" (did I get the name right). Anyway.... although I have also read you are going through some financial difficulties, is it entirely out of the question to find a place of your own, discover more about
yourself, and then let a man compliment your life?
posted by
Troosha
on
December 19, 2006
at
10:16 AM
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reply
That's true Tanga...
People do crazy things when they're lonely though.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 19, 2006
at
7:31 AM
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reply
It would not be fair to iether of you
if the love was not equall from both parties
posted by
Tanga
on
December 19, 2006
at
6:19 AM
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reply
Whacky...yeah, I've been giving this alot of thought...
Today it dawned on me...He owns goats!!! Goats. Enough said.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:41 PM
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reply
Well, It sounds like you wouldn't be movig forward.
It's seems more like a step sideways.Give it some deep thought.
posted by
Whacky
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:14 PM
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reply
That's a good suggestion Maggie.
No, I know how men are. I'm sleeping with a guy I dont love now -
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
4:29 PM
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Well, Passion, if you think you could be happy for Christmas if you went there, then pack a suitcase and go for a visit. Then, if after a few days you know one way or another how you feel, then act on it. I don't think though that you want to move in lock, stock and barrel without seeing first if you like him in the flesh.
You don't think that he's going to pay your way without demands, do you? He's a man!
I know you're not that nieve.
posted by
MaggieMae
on
December 18, 2006
at
3:59 PM
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reply
Thanks Blackcat...of course, you're right.
After reading everyone's comments, I've come to my senses...LOL.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
3:45 PM
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reply
Funny comment Whysper...
Guess I should visit my local jailhouse. I've been looking in all the wrong places for a decent guy.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
3:44 PM
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reply
you just met him? And he asked you to marry him?
LOL... uh, I'd definitely run.
Seriously, they say that you know that a person is "the one" within 24 hours of meeting them. Something just clicks. They don't "grow on you" when it's meant to be.....
posted by
-blackcat
on
December 18, 2006
at
3:31 PM
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reply
Guys like me?
Mostly in jail, I think
posted by
Whysper
on
December 18, 2006
at
12:48 PM
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reply
Sorry Maggie...you're right...
But surely God wouldn't get mad if I enjoyed Christmas and was happy for once. Do I always have to be so sad, lonely and broke?
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
11:54 AM
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reply
You're a really wise fellow Whysper...
Great advice....where are all the guys like you???
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
11:53 AM
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reply
Don't judge a book by it's cover
I knew from the moment I met my sweetie that she was a project, it didn't stop me because she's a project worth sharing my life with. Not many can put up with me on a long term basis, which I guess is my way of saying that I'm a project to.
I tell my daughter not to get into a relationship by looking at what it will do for you, look at it from the perspective of what it will let you give.
posted by
Whysper
on
December 18, 2006
at
11:38 AM
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reply
You are
NOT a loser! You are just going through a rough time right now. I hope you don't make it worse.
posted by
MaggieMae
on
December 18, 2006
at
11:16 AM
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reply
Whysper...this guy lives way out in the country...
He has cats, dog, goats, farm animals....he's built a nice life for himself but he's lonely. He just doesn't know how to BE with a woman. He's rough around the edges. He would definitely be a project.
Don't think I have the heart for it right now.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
10:24 AM
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reply
I know Bel...thanks...
I've thought of everything. I've tried everything. I need Richard's help with my bills until I get my license to inspect homes for the VHA or until there's another big disaster somewhere.
Those are the only ways I can earn enough money to pay my own way. I guess I'll survive this, but just for once, I'd like to have a happy Christmas. I'd like to enjoy the holidays - I'd like to spend them with someone I actually cared about. I just want to be happy.
Oh well...I'll cry my way thru another Christmas and be damned glad when its over. I'm sure I'm not the only one. And things could be worse. And all that bullshit we say to ourselves so we won't have to admit what losers we are.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
10:22 AM
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reply
Ok, maybe I'm jumping on generalizations
After all, all generalizations are flawed, even this one.
But my experience has taught me that anyone who talks of marriage so early in a "relationship" is looking for someone to make up for their own short comings.
posted by
Whysper
on
December 18, 2006
at
10:20 AM
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reply
Passion
I am not trying to make you feel bad so please understand when I ask the following questions that it's only so you can take a look at some options.
I know you are not happy staying with Richard so what can you do to change that?
Have you considered renting a house with room mates that are not exes? Maybe someone who works a night shift so you aren't stumbling over one another? Maybe just renting a room someplace even?
posted by
bel_1965
on
December 18, 2006
at
10:10 AM
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reply
Bandana...He wants a long term relationship...
Preferably marriage....I told him that I like being single. He doesn't seem to understand.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
9:53 AM
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reply
I agree Nanaroo...
Chemistry has to be there.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
9:52 AM
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reply
I know Bel...but I wanna move.
I was only supposed to stay with Richard for 3 weeks...I was hoping and praying I wouldn't even have to have sex with him....but that ship has sailed.
Now it's been 9 months and it seems like forever.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
9:51 AM
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reply
Whysper...Ah gee! Now you've broke my heart....
I'm glad you're teaching your girls right though...they don't need a man. I feel sorry for them though, when they DO want to find the "Right One"...
I know first-hand what's out there. They've got it much harder these days - everyone is such a freak now.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
9:50 AM
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reply
Sweetie
you settled once before in your past when it came to love...please never do that again. I want you HAPPY!
posted by
bel_1965
on
December 18, 2006
at
9:48 AM
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reply
I know maggie...
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
9:47 AM
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reply
Thanks Bel...I guess I was willing to settle temporarily
Just so I could move out of Richard's place.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
9:47 AM
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reply
Oh my oh my
Yes, I am quite happily married, but thank you so much for asking.
As to your second question, no. Just don't try to lump too many changes together. Find a space of your own, the makes you feel comfortable then add someone to your life that makes you bubble. Chemistry is far more important than many people give it credit. The days of women marrying just to have "a man" are over and done(I hope). I tell my girls they don't need a boy to define their place in this world. Of course, they're boycrazy so they think I'm nuts.
posted by
Whysper
on
December 18, 2006
at
9:45 AM
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reply
Passion, you asked me this question last night. You know in your heart what to do.
posted by
MaggieMae
on
December 18, 2006
at
9:21 AM
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reply
I also think you should love him first before moving
in with him. I don't think he merely wants a roommate, does he?
posted by
bandanafish
on
December 18, 2006
at
9:06 AM
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reply
passionflower
ya know, that chemistry stuff has just got to be there.....
posted by
Nanaroo
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:48 AM
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reply
I have never heard of this song
and I am with Ariala on the advice!!! Honey, the phrase he might grow on you...UGH! Fugus grows too but it doesn't make it pleasant. Don't settle for less than what you really want and need in life.
posted by
bel_1965
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:47 AM
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reply
LOL Ariala...that may be the very best advice I get.
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:39 AM
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reply
Wow! Thanks for those lyrics Whysper...
And you even told us WHO sang the popular version...I'm very impressed! Say...are YOU married??? LOL!!!
I guess I have to just settle down and stay with Richard the rest of my freakin' life....right???????
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:38 AM
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reply
Here's Rosemary Clooney's version of it
I'm getting married in the morning,
Ding-dong the bells are going to chime,
Pull out the stopper,
Let's have a whopper,
But get me to the church on time.
I've got to be there in the morning,
Spruced up and looking in my prime,
Girls come and kiss me,
Show how you'll miss me,
But get me to the church on time.
If I am flying,
Then shoot me down,
If I am wooing,
Get her out of town!
Oh, I'm getting married in the morning,
Ding-dong the bells are going to chime,
Kick up a rumpus,
But don't lose the compass
And get me to the church,
Get me to the church,
For Gawd's sake,
Get me to the church, on time.
By the way, the heck with getting married. Watch your step moving out of Richard's into an unknown relationship and home. Living together is harder than loving together.
posted by
Whysper
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:33 AM
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reply
RUN!
posted by
Ariala
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:30 AM
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reply
Thanks Offbeat...I think I'm just totally disgusted with dating lately.
Maybe I'll take a break til after Christmas. This guy is putting too much pressure on me to decide because he's lonely I guess. It kind of aggravates me. (yes, we've met..he's not as good a kisser as he thinks)
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:30 AM
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reply
Well I think you already answered the question
There is no chemistry...Now if you think he can grow on you maybe you should try living with him (have you met him yet)...but NO to the marriage part until you are sure this is what you want...
posted by
Offy
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:26 AM
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reply
Thanks but I'm not quite ready to say "I DO"
posted by
Passionflower
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:25 AM
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reply
Congratulation.Wish you all the best . Nice post .
posted by
afzal50
on
December 18, 2006
at
8:24 AM
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reply
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