Comments on Chapter 1 (Prologue below)

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I appreciate your comments about my writings very much SchneiderSeven.  I feel honored.  I agree completely about the paragraphs.  One of my weaker points.  I will be working on it.  Thanks!

posted by echoe_writings on December 4, 2006 at 11:24 PM | link to this | reply

Very descriptive, and yet the story still flows nicely. Your writing is so clean, and clear, meticulously laid out. The doctor’s memory of his sister’s death, the ducks, and the friend who couldn’t swim, that part is great. Cardinal at the end is a nice touch. The dialogue between Pete and James seems believable. The police too.

If I had a complaint it would be that you don’t skip a line when a new character speaks. A few of the paragraphs are a little big. Both so minor I’m surprised I’m mentioning it, but the clearer the better. More a matter of style if anything in my opinion. Looking forward to more.

posted by SchneiderSeven on December 3, 2006 at 4:01 PM | link to this | reply