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I actually had a similar experience--where I wanted to be with the guy, but he didn't want to get too serious...though of course he wanted sex! So I know how you feel, in a way. This stuff hurts, no question.
And... orgasms every time?? I'd be all over that, too. Unfortunately, haven't found "that guy" yet.
posted by
Kasthu
on November 27, 2006 at 3:30 PM
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Hey, age and experience
do not prepare us for the sudden fall into love/lust and pain. It happens all our lives and it is to be expected. I am trying to tolerate that to some degree right now. My help has been to focus on me and what is totally good for me. I turn to prayer, get quiet inside and try to be objective. It helps some. We are attracted physically no matter how many folks say it is spiritual and intellectual.
Good luck in love, 
Hope to hear good things from you for you and soon.
Lou
posted by
Cameraeye
on November 27, 2006 at 1:01 PM
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Re: for the record
Go wake him up, girl. If I found a man that gave me regular orgasms that last forever, I'd be waking him up constantly. *Sigh*....someday my prince will come...lol
posted by
RedScribe
on November 27, 2006 at 12:04 PM
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for the record....
Never once did I get an orgasm from this guy. That did not happen until two guys after him, and I had no idea what was happening to me. It also only lasted a few seconds. Fiance is actually the sex genius who is able to give me orgasms almost every time. If I do not get one, it is usually my fault for thinking about something else, or trying to hard to get one. And now, they last forever. *sigh*
Maybe I should go to Fiance and wake him up...(doh! period cramps! At the very least, I know I am not preggers!)
posted by
sexinthecity
on November 27, 2006 at 9:22 AM
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Re
Unfotunately, I tried to contact him. He has never returned my calls- it's like I don't exist anymore. No, that is definately not an option.
posted by
RedScribe
on November 27, 2006 at 7:22 AM
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If you still feel this strongly about him--
You should try to get him back. Contact him. Find out what needs to be fixed for the two of you to go forward.
posted by
Passionflower
on November 27, 2006 at 7:11 AM
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Re
Thanks, Sex and the City. At least I'm not totally crazy. Yes, the problem sounds eerily familiar, except the sex was incredible all the time- surprisingly, he has had vey partners because he has been in a few very long term relationships. However, I think after he was cheated on, he's in the mind-set that he wants to make up for lost time. So, I came along just at the right time (insert sarcastic smile here). Now, I think he's dating anyone and everyone he can, and I want to die (not really, but hurts so much). I know what you mean about his member- my friend once told me that we are biologically drawn to people that will give us orgasms- maybe it's just biological and nothing else. Either way, I think you're right about moving on- that's why I'm going to go out with this other guy. At least it's a step in the right direction.
posted by
RedScribe
on November 27, 2006 at 6:25 AM
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Yeah, we want what's bad for us,
And it takes us getting a lot more bad stuff until we really we need to stop, or until we stop being stupid and let someone in who shows us the other side of the coin: good stuff.
I had a similar situation to yours, except the sex was bad (only I didn't know it because I'd never been with anyone else), he wouldn't open up to me (and I had myself convinced I knew him inside and out), and he was probably sleeping with everything in a skirt that he found reasonably attractive. I kept going back to this over and over again over a period of several years. And finally, I "got" it, one night, after having unenjoyable, short, meaningless sex. He came before we could even get started. He drank all the time, and could never perform. To this day, I'm not sure if we ever had "normal sex (sex where he wasn't drunk)." This is probably why he could never stay with one girl: he was completely in tuned to the fact he had a sex problem. He had a beautiful, um, "member." (I'm so Samantha right now!) But it just couldn't cut it. Now I know I wasn't the problem, he was, and it allowed me to move on. That's what you have to realize: you are in complete control, you just have to grasp the wheel just a bit more tightly and move on. once you start trying to move on, meet other people, letting him go will be much easier. Unless he's your Mr. Big, and then you're in trouble. ;-)
posted by
sexinthecity
on November 27, 2006 at 12:10 AM
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