Go to LIFE AT THE SPEED OF SOUND
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- Go to DO YOU OR ANY MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY SUFFER FROM THIS????????
I wrote this over a week ago Maggie....I'm doing better now.
I have to face the fact that I can not move out on my own for a while and that I probably won't be deployed till next August or September. It looks like bankruptcy is the only way out of this.
We've all got problems...Life is so full of them, isn't it?
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 13, 2006
at
8:40 AM
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I'm sorry you are depressed, Passion. I really wish there were something I could do.
posted by
MaggieMae
on
November 13, 2006
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8:30 AM
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Shelly...anyone would be depressed in your situation.
I hope and pray things start working better for both of us.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 13, 2006
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7:57 AM
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You're quite welcome Chilitree...hope you're learning your way around.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 13, 2006
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7:57 AM
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Thanks for the great compliment Tanga...
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 13, 2006
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7:56 AM
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And what a good writer too.
I have never suffered from symptoms of depression, at least I do not think so
posted by
Tanga
on
November 13, 2006
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2:52 AM
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Thank you so much for your comments.
posted by
Chilitree
on
November 12, 2006
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11:56 AM
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Wow, I've never been that down...but now, as you know, I've been
going through a lot. So yes, I've been depressed, lately. I understand it's not what you have been through but I haven't been able to enjoy myself. I, too, have been writing a lot. Not here on the blog but with pen and paper. I have been enjoying it. It gets me out of that down point. Of course, so does blogging but I haven't been able to do that, either. I hate that!
Anyway, I'm still thinking of you and you know where to find me, if you ever need to talk. 
posted by
shelly_b
on
November 12, 2006
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11:54 AM
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Thanks Chilitree...and welcome to Blogit.
Interesting User Name.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 12, 2006
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7:30 AM
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I can relate well with what you are saying
and I think many others will also ...
posted by
Chilitree
on
November 11, 2006
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11:56 PM
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Blackcat...I should check on the stats...
I think alot more people suffer than we realize. Alot of them just won't admit it because of the stigma Blanche referred to.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
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7:59 PM
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That's just part of being human Offbeat...
Life aint that great sometimes. There's alot to get depressed about...LOL! I wish we could find someone and fall in love. That would help us both I believe.
I've stopped believing it could happen for me, but I still have hope for you.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
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7:56 PM
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Drugs don't work for every person Lustor... it depends on the illness too-
It's an individual thing. Prozac worked well for me. That might not be true for anyone else. It was the first time in my life I was able to live like a normal person. I enjoyed it so much and really was kind of surprised at how it felt to be "normal".
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
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7:54 PM
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PF
Well as for me sometimes I go through bouts of depression...Typically I can shake it off within a few days. I really hate that dark cloud when it comes though...
posted by
Offy
on
November 11, 2006
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7:53 PM
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PF
that is what makes me differrent I havent been around that much or that long, and I am not really a person who makes friends easily and dont fit into cliques. I dont come across shy but in reality I am. Good luck.
I have to admit I havent always agreed that drugs are the way to solve many problems, a regular MD is not trained to treat problems without drugs, but there are Docs out there that are MD's but have studied more about food and herbs etc that help better then addicting drugs. My daughter was on Ritlin as she was diagnosed with ADD and I took her off that over used drug and she was more a real person than a robot just sitting around.
posted by
lustorlove
on
November 11, 2006
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7:49 PM
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wow... well, I've had my down periods, but I've been lucky to avoid
complete collapse, so far. I'm sorry to hear about your experience... but it sounds like it's made you a stronger person.
Oh, and a note to the "wet mop" reference in the comments below.... the term is not and was never meant to be indicative of a mental illness or serious depression. Wet mop is a term that's simply used to signify when we get "in a mood"... and we ALL suffer from that. I'm just as guilty of it and have posted as such almost every time I use the word. Enough said.
posted by
-blackcat
on
November 11, 2006
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7:38 PM
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Night Blanche...thanks for the great talks.
Hope you and M have a wonderful dinner.
PS-Thanks for the encouraging stuff about getting deployed.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
at
7:26 PM
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I hadn't thought of that aspect of it Blanche...
It makes me sad to think of that part of it.
But you're right. There's a great amount of shame and embarassment involved in admiting that we're mentally ill. We have something wrong inside our brains. It's not our fault.
There are many other illnesses that are more acceptable and much more easy to diagnose and deal with. We didn't get one of those though.
I'm gonna keep talking and writing about depression. It helps me and maybe it helps others too.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
at
7:25 PM
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Good night, Passionflower, M's on his way home and I've got to get the
steaks on. Take care of you, you're precious and irreplaceable, you know. And it's going to get better. FEMA will probably send you up to the Northwest, and we'll get to meet in real-time!
posted by
Blanche.
on
November 11, 2006
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7:23 PM
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Writing and being open about who we are can help, not just us, but
anyone who struggles with the stigma and the shame of mental illness, which I believe is a root cause of suicide, that and guilt, the despair and self-loathing. I wish people could really understand that.
But it's the people who have unresolved issues within themselves, who don't dare take a deeper look within, and accept themselves for who they are, who inflict the most harm, but ultimately harm only themselves.
We can free ourselves, but the truth really does set you free.
posted by
Blanche.
on
November 11, 2006
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7:19 PM
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I'm that way too, Blanche..
I guess in spite of all the info out there, depression is still widely misunderstood. I've written enough on the subject over the years to put together 3 books. Maybe I should do that -
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
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7:10 PM
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It is most definitely not somethng you snap out of, Passionflower (and LL)
That is why I get so livid over the "wet mop" comments etc. It's dismissive and just ignorant. I've become accustomed to them, and just dismiss them, but no one knows how many people really suffer from bipolar or depression, so to write that it is just "mind over matter" and "get over it", could potentially harm someone who is struggling and fragile.
I'm not that fragile anymore. I just consider the source and ignore it.
posted by
Blanche.
on
November 11, 2006
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7:04 PM
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No problem Lustor...it's hard to explain to people who
Haven't had direct experience. Most people think you could just 'get over it' if you wanted to.
Me and Blanche (and many others) will probably tell you that we're well accustomed to our friends and family telling us to just get up, get dressed and get out -- go do something fun and we'll snap right out of it.
I wish we could but that's the difference between clinical depression and someone who's just depressed because their paycheck was short or their car broke. There's normal depression that everyone gets from time to time. and then there's clinical depression that you need medication and counseling to deal with.
My friends around here who have known me for a few years have been very worried about me over the past 5 or 6 months and that's meant so much to me. Maggie, Wiley, Blanche, Offbeat, Shelly...they check up on me weekly.
For someone with no family it means alot. It does make a difference if you know that there are people somewhere who will be hurt if you jump in front of oncoming traffic or jump off a building.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
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7:00 PM
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I know that well, Blanche...I can be the most affable person
You've ever met at times.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
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6:52 PM
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suffer
Thanks for sharing this with us it must of been hard to do so, and now it makes it easier to understand you and you pain. Before it just seemed like you were miserable for no real reason. And again I apologize for the way I talked to you if I knew more of your personality I might of been lighter on you.
Not my family directly but my step nephew committed suicide and he was up and coming attorney from a very good home, but suicide runs in their family also
posted by
lustorlove
on
November 11, 2006
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6:49 PM
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Oh, and about your comment about withdrawing from the world, PF,
yes and no, that's the bipolar part for me. I've been withdrawn for the last 2 and half years, recovering. During an episode, I'm much more outgoing, exuberant and "over the top", that's the first sign.
posted by
Blanche.
on
November 11, 2006
at
6:37 PM
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My "mad Russian" grandfather (that's what they called him, was bipolar,
there's no question. My family had a lot of turmoil, no one still thinks anyone but me has a problem, that's why I can't be around them, they MADE me crazy, but not one of them will admit to having a problem. I had to leave.
posted by
Blanche.
on
November 11, 2006
at
6:31 PM
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I know, I hear you. I've only belonged to one church since I began to
know Christ, in a real way, in 2003. It was the spiritual crisis, the cathartic experience that is the upside of this whole experience. It was a battle of dark and light, for my soul, and nobody can tell me diferently. Forget them, they're all about intellect, head and not heart. Nobody who hasn't been there, can understand, I can't even begin to explain.
posted by
Blanche.
on
November 11, 2006
at
6:30 PM
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I hope you'll keep at it and maybe start looking for a publisher
You have a pretty interesting story....esp if you go back a few generations and start with your Russian heritage.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
at
6:29 PM
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I'm the exact same way about church, Christianity, the Bible etc.
Over the years, my relationship with God has kept me out of alot of trouble. All those people who think there IS NO GOD (I call them MORONS!) can go fuck themselves.
Jesus and the word of God have kept me alive and going in a half-way 'right' direction over the years. If people wanna say we're weak and need a crutch, then let them.
They think they're better than us because they didn't have to turn to God for help...instead they usually turn to drugs, alcohol, porn or some hobby as their crutch. I've stopped worrying about these asinine individuals.
They're going to be really surprised when they die and have to stand before the God they said didn't exist.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
at
6:28 PM
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reply
My blogs arre kind of a manuscript. I've written so much of it, but my
story is really in my Terra Incognita Tales blog, the first part anyway. I'm working on the next part. Even though I put it in fiction, it's really autobiography.
posted by
Blanche.
on
November 11, 2006
at
6:25 PM
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You need to write it all down in a book someday Blanche.
I know we've all got "a story" but you're a good writer and could do justice to yours. Alot of people can't say that.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
at
6:22 PM
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You, too? I didn't know. I've spiraled out of control 4 times, I'm more
careful now. That's why I'm on SSDI. The last job I had, in 2002, I nearly went postal on them, the family issues, etc. That's why I became Christian, in jail. It's a long story.
posted by
Blanche.
on
November 11, 2006
at
6:19 PM
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Yes, me too Blanche...
On the proper drugs, we can live a half-way normal life. But things can easily spiral out of control.
Like if we have major family problems (which I did 6 years ago) or if we go thru divorce (which I did 2 1/2 years ago) or if we have some type of life threatening illness. Or some romantic snafu. We don't do well when those types of things occur.
We tend to curl up in a little ball and withdraw from the world.
posted by
Passionflower
on
November 11, 2006
at
6:13 PM
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Passoinflower, I am manic-depressive aka Bipolar I, so yes, I do.
posted by
Blanche.
on
November 11, 2006
at
6:07 PM
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