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AG, nothing to do with the post, but it looks like we went off together for
the weekend. Did we have a nice time?
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on November 6, 2006 at 3:44 AM
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AG
Over exposed to the wrong idea of what makes a person attractive. We do need to look inward for a more positive out come. I feel sorry for young people today, it is harder then when we were kids (although I believe even back then we all wanted to fit in)...
posted by
Offy
on November 6, 2006 at 3:41 AM
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Mystic
Indeed, it does. Have you grown tired of blogging? I'm just too immersed in day to day things right now.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 6, 2006 at 3:40 AM
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Bright Irish
You're so right about that. Admitting mistakes makes all the difference in the world.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 6, 2006 at 3:40 AM
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Chyrlann
Thanks for the great comment. I'm unaware of what it feels like to not have both parents around.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 6, 2006 at 3:39 AM
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Justi
It is indeed a travesty that families are broken and without examples for the young to follow.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 6, 2006 at 3:38 AM
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Blanche
I'm learning all the time. If I had never had children, I don't think I would've learned much of anything about myself.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 6, 2006 at 3:37 AM
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sabsline
Thanks!
posted by
avant-garde
on November 6, 2006 at 3:36 AM
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hi avant
just like a simple smile has far reaching result. it is good that you recognize these things when your boys are still so young.
posted by
MysticGmekeepr
on November 5, 2006 at 3:25 PM
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avant-garde
I wholeheartedly agree. We are the only role models for our children in the forming stages of their lives and need to take responsibility for our actions. Parents make mistakes and often show human failures but it is never wrong to sit with your child and admit that your action or thought did not come from the true depths of your heart and you've made a mistake or error in judgement. This enables them to know you and not be afraid of failure and freely ask and respect you and your opinion.
posted by
BrightIrish
on November 5, 2006 at 8:29 AM
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AG - excellent article
Oh, to bottle your wisdom and require all parents to drink of it!
I raised two boys, mostly as a single parent and had a young lady also witness to my every move. Biblical principals teach, "You are in the world, but not of the world." I've attempted in every way to live this and imprint this into each of their hearts.
It seemed a difficult concept through the teen years when they 'stood out' from their peers; they did not fit in with the hype, the media's renditions of what teen-agers should be. We did not sit in front of the TV. We spent a lot of time in 'jam sessions' because all of us are musically inclined, song-writers & musicians. We spent a lot of time simply sharing ideas & thoughts.
I watched as each came home from peers; mostly disappointed because they didn't fit in. I tried to help them to understand they would eventually find others of like minds and feel a part of a whole. I didn't push them into 'church' but encouraged them as followers of Christ. They have each grown to know of Christ as a rebellious, anti-religious man of wisdom who walked to the beat of a different drum; the rhythm set by his father God Almighty to fullfil his destiny and purpose in life. (Both boys had absent fathers). Christ was the only male role model either truly had. Your boys are truly blessed!
They are all, in turn entering adult-hood now. I'm so very proud of the decisions they are making with each of their lives. We, as a family, validate the truth of each other and have supported each other in our attempts to be in this world, but not of this world.
posted by
roadscross
on November 3, 2006 at 11:42 PM
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AG
Children are the result of sex. The problem is sex is taken so lightly it is not reserved for a beautifully loving relationship. It is whomever is available in so many cases and some girls are having two or three babies they can't care for or afford. Some are aborting that many, when all we need to do is talk about the beauty and reverence of sex in a love not a lust relationship. They don't have a clue.
posted by
Justi
on November 3, 2006 at 11:47 AM
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At least you waited until you knew you were ready, Avant, that shows a
lot of self-awareness there. Your love for your family shows through between the lines of your writng, it's a balance, isn't it, being a whole person and a parent?
posted by
Blanche.
on November 3, 2006 at 8:31 AM
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Gr8 truth!
posted by
Sabsline
on November 3, 2006 at 4:49 AM
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Whacky
Thank you. You're very kind.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 3, 2006 at 1:04 AM
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Mason
My boys are sponges for learning. The television is a poor substitute.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 3, 2006 at 1:03 AM
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Just keep on being you and you will set a positive example.
This I believe.
posted by
Whacky
on November 2, 2006 at 10:27 PM
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We can start by turning off the television which hypes all that crap...
..and then teach our children to read and write... maybe even blogging...
posted by
MasonGarrett
on November 2, 2006 at 8:09 PM
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blanche
Yes, I do believe that. It's just a matter of applying it.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 4:45 PM
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xeno
Your words are true and well taken.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 4:45 PM
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Justi
Thanks. Children and animals have no voice. There are many people who just do not care or do not care to learn. There are children having children, and more broken homes than traditional ones. It's a huge mess all over.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 4:44 PM
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Troosha
Yes, you are right. There is a balance. But, it does begin within the mind of the parent, who then instills balance within the children. A very precarious subject at best.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 4:43 PM
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You do lead by example, Avant, and it's a good one.
Take heart, as you said in my Living Well blog yesterday,when you remember to follolw a spiritual path, the material falls into place. All will be well, even death doesn't matter that much, in the end, when it comes down to it.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 2, 2006 at 3:16 PM
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there is a lot of insecurity in all this.
people put insecurity on other people.
this is not a disease; it's a symptom.
posted by
Xeno-x
on November 2, 2006 at 2:52 PM
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AG
This is an excellent post. There are some very good comments as well. One thing I must to take into consideration is: We have a generation at least one here in the US who has a great percentage of parents who havent a clue what to do with the children they have born. Many do not have them. Many are still on durgs or some sort of addiction. We need everybody's help to give the children hope, and to give their parents hope as well. We need voices against child porn and child abuse in those families that do not have parents like you. All the children are valuable.
posted by
Justi
on November 2, 2006 at 2:50 PM
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And I agree with Blanche - leading by example is the route to go
posted by
Troosha
on November 2, 2006 at 1:36 PM
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Avant
It’s hard to camouflage our angst thereby instilling in our children an openness to the word. That being said, we do unfortunately live in a twisted world and we would be doing them an injustice if we didn’t heighten their awareness of the cautions they should exercise. Balance…. That’s the tough part. Good post – good read.
posted by
Troosha
on November 2, 2006 at 1:32 PM
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Blanche
Very true. Thanks. I realize that the way I handle my life sets the pace for their lives.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 1:05 PM
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You're the one constant in your sons' constellation, Avant, well, there's 2
of you, but if you're the North Star, they'll be able to navigate through whatever uncertain seas are ahead, I'm sure. That, and faith, will be enough. You can't keep them safe from harm, but you can teach them that they can overcome it.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 2, 2006 at 12:48 PM
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Mrs Tanga
You're very kind as well. We share a common interest, and hopefully we can set a new standard for tomorrow's leaders.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 12:45 PM
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blanche
You're very kind. I often feel so much uncertainty these days, with the world in the state that it is in.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 12:45 PM
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faholo
You're right: all the lecturing in the world does not take the place of five minutes of setting an example.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 12:44 PM
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SYMPHONY
It's a very long row to hoe, being a parent these days.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 12:43 PM
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sannhet
Your mentoring is very important. Keep up the great work. I'm sure you're a brilliant role model.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 12:41 PM
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Tanga
Indeed, it is. Thanks.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 12:39 PM
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Dave
Changing the world truly begins with changing oneself.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 12:39 PM
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Avant - You are a brilliant writer and this post was excellent!
I agree on everything that Blanche said... I often think about the exact same thing but you put it into words just perfectly. Thank you! 
Mrs Tanga
posted by
Tanga
on November 2, 2006 at 10:47 AM
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Avant, this is one of your best pieces ever.
Although, perhaps I shouldn't say it that way, because you've changed styles so radically that it's almost as though there's are two Avants writing here.
But yours is a voice that needs to be heard, conscience, heart, experience and wisdom all rolled into one.
I've long thought the same things, and anyone who is a responsible, conscious parent must be at times overwhelmed by the world you're raising your children in and how to make them into decent men. That shouldn't be too hard, all they have to do is follow their father's example. But trying to teach them hope instead of fear, that takes faith.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 2, 2006 at 8:40 AM
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Avant garde, this is so very true. By our very negligence
we create many problems. You have been blessed by three sons and blessed even more by the insight to know what you do is what you teach them. One of my points in teaching adults has been,
your child, will not hear your words, but will always see your actions and your actions are what he/she will follow. Very good post and a reminder to all adults,
children are always looking at our behavior even when we are unaware of their presence. Blessings!
faholo
posted by
faholo
on November 2, 2006 at 8:32 AM
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Good post.....I agree.
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 2, 2006 at 7:17 AM
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Avant -
Though no children of our own, my wife and I raised a niece for a few years (from 13 to 16), and I am a big brother to a young man of 20 (we were matched when he was 6). It was during my time with my little and the three years raising our niece that I realized that I had to be actively present in all that I did, because what I did could affect him and/or her. Living here and now (as it should be) was a big lesson for me. I would think it is even more important for one with small, impressionable children.
posted by
sannhet
on November 2, 2006 at 7:03 AM
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I think many parents share your
feelings. It is sometimes difficult to be a role model, but to be is a must
posted by
Tanga
on November 2, 2006 at 6:21 AM
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A-G, good thoughts. Yes, every moment of what you do affects someone.
And when you think about those close to you, you want to be emanating hope, it's true.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on November 2, 2006 at 3:44 AM
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