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Hi NewYorker...I've been going thru something similar
I wish, pray and hope that we'll both make it. I've been so very depressed myself. But we get up each day and do whatever's necessary.
God bless! I hope you'll check out my latest posst where we're having a frank discussion about suicide.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 22, 2006
at
3:23 PM
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Oh Passionflower....
my latest blog entry was about facing my worst fears and confronting - not running - from them. It threw me into depression again, and made me dwell needlessly over the mistakes of my past. No more - I want my life back and I'm fighting back.....
posted by
NewYorker_in_Sicily
on
October 22, 2006
at
1:17 PM
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Thanks Maggie...you're always so sweeeeeeeeeet....
And very encouraging. It does matter to know that I have friends here and people that care - I'm struggling right now....but maybe things will get better soon.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 21, 2006
at
11:38 AM
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Passionflower, I'm responding to your comment on my blog. I'm very concerned about you and the way you're feeling. I'm sorry you don't have any family. I can't pretend to know how that feels (I have more than enough). I could spare a few. I don't even know what it's like to yearn for a job. Fortunately, I've always had one when I needed/wanted one. I can relate to your desperation, I've felt that way many times, but I, too, always bounced back. Please know that you are a wonderful, loving individual and deserve more than you've received. You are funny (great sense of humor), sweet, sincere, and honest. You have put it all out here for us to read and we all love you for what you are. You say Blogit is the closest thing you have to family and I think that may very well be a blessing. I see you've got more friends than most of us, and it builds every day. You have quite a family, Passion. Any one of us, or all of us, is here for you. Please know that and try to snap out of your depression. You must know how that makes us feel. We are concerned. We want to know that you are ok. We
need to know that you are ok. You're very special and we've all told you that. I don't know what else to say - I want you to be happy.
posted by
MaggieMae
on
October 21, 2006
at
11:35 AM
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hahahaha You're something else, girl! 
posted by
MaggieMae
on
October 21, 2006
at
11:16 AM
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Maggie...sorry girl, but that's a "Deal Breaker" for me.
I gotta flirt.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 21, 2006
at
11:09 AM
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I'll do that, Sweetie - only clause, you can't flirt with my husband. hahahaha ok?
posted by
MaggieMae
on
October 21, 2006
at
8:52 AM
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Maybe you could adopt me Maggie...I'm not much trouble...LOL!
Okay, maybe a little trouble.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 20, 2006
at
10:14 PM
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Homegirl...yes, I do have to be available all the time
If I want to work. I normally make enough in 5 mos to live all year. This year I've worked for a temp agency alot.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 20, 2006
at
10:13 PM
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Symphony...at this point, I would do just about anything
to get out of this mess.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 20, 2006
at
10:09 PM
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Thanks Blagging...will do.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 20, 2006
at
10:08 PM
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LOL Pat....I have been looking for an 18 wheeler to throw myself under-
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 20, 2006
at
10:07 PM
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Sorry Frankly....I'm just too depressed to be good company
These days.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 20, 2006
at
10:07 PM
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Thanks for your email Moxie...
It really does make a difference to know you guys care.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 20, 2006
at
10:06 PM
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I do that too sometimes Taps...I wouldn't delete you.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 20, 2006
at
10:05 PM
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Thanks Blanche...I'm afraid the bastards have been getting me down lately.
I'll do what I have to no matter how unpleasant.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 20, 2006
at
10:04 PM
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Passion, money has always scared me, and I've hidden and averted my eyes
to taking responsiblity for it. I had to have a friend go with me to a restaurant with a pile of unpaid bills, collection agency debts and a calculator,and sti there and hold my hand while we added it all up. So then at least I knew what I owed and could start to get a handle on it. I had to take a lot of deep breaths, really small steps and ask my mother for help, which was like pulling teeth, but she did.
So, there it is, it finally got a huge, overwhelming weight off my back just to add it up. Do what you can. I've always found that people are willing to meet you halfway if you're willing to take the first steps. Stay strong, and don't let the bastards get you down.
posted by
Blanche.
on
October 20, 2006
at
4:19 PM
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Passionflower, I thought sure I had commented on this post but I don't see my name anywhere. Either I got side tracked or you deleted me. LOL Just wanted to say that I know it must be really difficult to make a decision in a case like this of whether to wait for the right storm to blow in or whether to give it up and go on to something else. No matter which you do you may regret the decision later and that's definitely no fun.
posted by
TAPS.
on
October 20, 2006
at
4:12 PM
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Hello, Dear Passionflower!
You sound so desperate, I wish I could give you some super advice that I could guarantee 200%, but I can't. I offer you my support and personally I believe you'll be fine. As long as you have your health and there is breath in your body you can do anything you put your mind to. Don't give up on yourself!
posted by
Moxie_Maven
on
October 20, 2006
at
2:18 PM
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those were not cliches
...getting yourself too busy to be depressed is what I was saying
posted by
FranklyMydear1
on
October 20, 2006
at
1:48 PM
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so you only work when there are storms...
does this job expect you to always be avail? and what do you do in the meantime?
sounds hard. Hope things get better.
posted by
homegirl
on
October 20, 2006
at
1:32 PM
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Passion, you'll be ok. You're a strong person and you'll make it. Love ya.
posted by
MaggieMae
on
October 20, 2006
at
12:59 PM
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Sounds like a good idea...
unless your fear is an 18-wheeler, fully loaded, going 70 miles an hour down the road. Meeting that head-on could be... well, you know. :)
posted by
Pat_B
on
October 20, 2006
at
10:06 AM
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Great attitude...
I think you're gonna be fine! Good luck though. Keep us posted.
posted by
blagging
on
October 20, 2006
at
9:29 AM
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I believe in you.....things will get better.
I was going to joke around and say....you get paid a lot for chatting on sex lines...but actually that's not a bad idea....LOL
posted by
_Symphony_
on
October 20, 2006
at
7:17 AM
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Thanks Ginnie...I do need help right now....
I've always struggled with depression and all that goes along with it.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 20, 2006
at
4:39 AM
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I was going to suggest some counselling, Passion...
...have you talked to a doctor? I really hope you reach out and seek some help..perhaps you need something to pull you up and out...and there is so nothing wrong with admitting you need either medication or psychological support...it's that first step..and sounds like you are admitting a lot to yourself. Maybe just pick up that phone and make an appointment..I'm sure it's not an easy thing to do but you sound resilient, Passion..you can do it.
posted by
ginnieb
on
October 19, 2006
at
8:47 PM
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LOL Franklymydear...Thanks for all those encouraging cliches.
I bet you were a cheer leader in school. I'm afraid depression doesn't work that way. It perpetuates itself. You can't get up and assess your skills etc. You don't have the ability to pull yourself up out of the dark pit you've fallen inside.
You need help before you can get out of it. I may need to get back on Prozac or something like that....maybe some counseling.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 19, 2006
at
8:32 PM
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mmm...stumbled upon this piece and not sure what to say....
...everyone, in varying degrees, have felt the desolation that you describe and everyone, relative to their means and motivations, find a way to eventually overcome these feelings...sounds to me (and it's worked for me in my darkest hours), is to take stock of your skills and see where they fit when compared to your aspirations, dreams..talents....if you;re short on the skill set that you need to realize your dreams, then you need to work out ways to acquire those skills...OK..getting preachy here, but you need to give yourself purpose to break the cycle of melancholy...describe who you are, describe the dream and get busy and give it purpose. Be methodical. Be strong. Never lose sight of the prize.You'll win.
posted by
FranklyMydear1
on
October 19, 2006
at
8:25 PM
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Lady...I'm going to write about this soon...
I think I've had SO MUCH bad luck and so many setbacks these past 5 1/2 years, that I just don't believe in fun or love and laughter anymore.
It's hard to describe unless you've been there. There's darkness all around me and little chance of any light breaking thru. I've stopped hoping that it will.
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 19, 2006
at
8:07 PM
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i wanna live and laugh dammit
take me to the whipping post and i will be drunk and laughing!!!!! enjoy your life my man
posted by
ladychardonnay
on
October 19, 2006
at
8:02 PM
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Lady...I used to...i had some friends I went out with
Playing pool every week. It was fun. My life hasn't had much joy or fun for the past 5 1/2 years. Some days feel so bleak and desolate.
I'm like you...many days I ask myself, "Why do you wanna wake up and do this again tomorrow?"
posted by
Passionflower
on
October 19, 2006
at
8:00 PM
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i am very poor and very happy
i don't what keeps me going but somehow i seem to laugh every day. do you hang out with fun people? that helps me get through the rough days.
posted by
ladychardonnay
on
October 19, 2006
at
7:21 PM
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