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It makes me sad, Azur, because I've never met D's wife nor she me.

It is her insecurity, but that insecurity is depriving me of one of the best friendships of my life.  She doesn't know me, or she would know that I am no femme fatale. I keep very strict boundaries about friendships, and am not one to cross those boundaries. Aside form which, she and D just married in their 50s, does she really think that he had no freinds ro relatinonships before her? Obviously not, so, jealousy on her part is just hysterical and unreasonable.

D and I are good friends, and have never been more than that, although I met him as a roommate, while renting an apartment, he needed a room in the city to stay in while he worked in the city, and then spent the weekend up north on Whidbey Island, so he was the perfect roommate: never home!

if we were going to be more than friends, I think that living in the same apartment for 6 months, with adjoining rooms probably would have been the time, not now!

Anyway, he's triying to coax her into it, so I may meet her, if she will come to my next poetry reading at the coffee shop next month.  We'll see.  Aside from which, there is MG, so we can do "couple things".  Grr.

posted by Blanche. on October 13, 2006 at 5:09 AM | link to this | reply

It's a shame when that happens

it would be different if you had dated perhaps but even then it depends on the people. We have no problems with each other seeing old friends, even alone which I realize is  unusual. We used to work in the same place but still had our separate friends that  we would have lunch with. Someone I dated years ago is godfather to one of my children. A few months ago my partner spent a day in a city with a woman  friend who lives far away but was there on business. When I was ill a few years ago I  used to ring that woman and another woman friend and request that they take my partner out to give him some time to relax. 

 

It probably has nothing to do with what she may think of you but  it says something about their relationship.  Ultimately it is up to your friend D to let his wife know what it means to him to have her meet his friends. Some friends I'd rather spend time with without my partner and I know he feels the same. Other friends we'd rather see together.

posted by Azur on October 13, 2006 at 4:39 AM | link to this | reply