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avant-garde
Yes, I think that's a good idea. Thanks
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 12, 2006 at 7:02 AM
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fionajean
I agree, thanks
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 12, 2006 at 7:02 AM
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sunnybeach
I would record his rants and have evidence, should anything come up.
posted by
avant-garde
on October 12, 2006 at 3:17 AM
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I'd say that it's a very difficult situation but that your son should come
first. I would also not want him to have unsupervised visits.
posted by
fionajean
on October 12, 2006 at 1:46 AM
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Whacky
That's what I say...at least till my son is old enough. Actually, he didn't move on to anyone else, he's just in the same old situation he's always been in.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 11, 2006 at 8:39 PM
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BC
I have a couple back up plans now....just incase.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 11, 2006 at 8:38 PM
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ladychardonnay
Hahaha...that wouldn't be legal would it?
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 11, 2006 at 8:37 PM
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strangle him in his sleep - just kidding
supervised visits only - kids sometimes may up stuff - trust your instincts
posted by
ladychardonnay
on October 11, 2006 at 7:06 PM
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protect your kids... if it means going to the police, then do it.
posted by
-blackcat
on October 11, 2006 at 6:49 PM
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I'd say allow supervised visits only. Since he has moved on to someone
else you have the same right, but no obligation to tell him about it. Hope it works out.
posted by
Whacky
on October 11, 2006 at 6:28 PM
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marieclaire
Thanks so much for this information. I think I will start writing things down.
At this point, he's taken back wanting to see my son. Says he will do whatever it is I want as long as "I" continue talking to him. As I told him that we could get this all taken care of legally, then I don't have any reason to even talk with him anymore.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 11, 2006 at 5:57 PM
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Ariala
Exactly!
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 11, 2006 at 5:52 PM
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He sounds like a control freak.
posted by
Ariala
on October 11, 2006 at 5:39 PM
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this sounds like manipulation to me.
It is very unfair that your ex should use his/your son as a lever for his dirty ends. He should not seek support from a child, that is just ridiculous. Keep a written record of anything that might incriminate him in order to protect yourself and go to court if necessary, you need every piece of evidence you can get hold of. It is best to keep a proper written record of everything. There might be a good lawyer you can go to, if you don't already have one. I put a restraining order on my ex, although he was not dangerous per say so I have been through the procedure in a different country and under different circumstances but I know the stresses that such a thing entails. Keep a close eye on the man, he is a big manipulator, it is hard to prove at this stage that he might be a threat to your son but it stands to reason that he is not to be trusted fully. Explore different options available to you and discuss it with trusted friends, the restraining order is an option, but bear in mind it will aggravate the man, if you choose to go down that road, be prepared for all eventualities. It just means that you need to have a contingency plan, plenty of support and let people know about your intentions. This is what I did six years ago, now this man respects me and has not bothered me since and we are sort of friends now, well civil to each other. So I wish you all the best, i cannot tell you what to do, but I hope that sharing my experience might help you in some way. If it does not, well you still have my fullhearted support and sympathy for what it is worth.
posted by
marieclaire66
on October 11, 2006 at 5:39 PM
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lovelyladymonk
Thanks for all this. Would they approve supervised visits, just because I ask?
I wonder because he also has normal visitation with his nephew, whom is 5...a year older than my son.
I think it's ridiculous also. Supposedly they had him evaluated by a psychologist or something, who determined that he's not a threat to male children. I had even asked Child Protective Services at the time, if there was anything they could do to keep him away from my son. They said there was nothing, it was within his rights.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on October 11, 2006 at 4:35 PM
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OMG Sunny...
If I were you, I'd see if there's any way to have a restraining order placed on this man. Also, if forced to allow your son to visit with him, please make sure they are always supervised visits.
For the courts or anyone else to say he is not a threat to male children is ridiculous!!!! Most sexual predators do not discriminate the sexes for long periods of time. I was sexually assulted by two men...Both of whom assulted their own sons.
Please, please...Do everything in your power to keep your son away from this man. Also, please protect yourself and your daughter. Report his threats to the police immediately and seek an order of protective custody.
Stay safe and well. I'm here if you need a willing ear...
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on October 11, 2006 at 4:25 PM
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