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What a fantastic post
It made me think about my own values.
I've stuck very stubbornly to being a stay at home mum for ten years, only working in school hours (being a teacher helps) so I could be there for my kids. I'm a minority in my area. I also shake my head at the neighbours whose kids have EVERYTHING they desire. My kids do very well actually. My husband earns a good wage (what a blessing) and all four of the grandparents are very generous to their only grandchildren. I need to learn to say no more often. I need to teach them to respect what they have ... I'm working on it. I just added three more jobs to their lists this week (with much moaning and groaning). They were such hard tasks as, take you rpjs down to your room in the morning, tidy your room, and empty the dishwahser. It's not exactly slave labor. And yet they still have it VERY easy.
I want them to have a nice childhood. But yes, I want them to learn some things along the way.
posted by
astraldreamer
on September 25, 2006 at 1:27 AM
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I absolutely agree with you on an emotional level.
I feel the same way about my daughter getting excluded or picked on. It makes me feel like a wreck.
I try to prepare her instead of getting caught up in a vicious cycle. I think it has to happen to all of us at some point, being treated as if we aren't cool or good enough. It's something she needs to face and get on with. It doesn't lessen the hurt for either of us-for her or for me-it just tells her that she is more than the sum of her material possessions. 
posted by
Schatz
on September 19, 2006 at 11:16 AM
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i agree with you
but unfortunately I always cave in to my daughter's demands. I was made fun of when I was little because of my clothes, my height, my flat chest, even my last name. It made me a tougher person and a loner. But I would be the first to admit that what I am doing is wrong - but the thought of people laughing at my daughter the way they laughed at me is too much for me.
posted by
ladychardonnay
on September 19, 2006 at 10:00 AM
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No, the saddest part is that instead of teaching our kids how to deal with
teasing and the like, we 'protect' them from it by making sure they have 'what they need' to avoid it. The first thing I thought to myself after issuing such a bold statement this morning was, "Man, it's going to be hard for her to sit in school and listen to everyone talk about all the stuff
they got this year." But the pure truth of the message would be teaching my daughter a lesson in the meaning of 'enough', right?
posted by
Schatz
on September 19, 2006 at 9:46 AM
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my mother cancelled xmas once
only because my dad had gambled away all of the money - that was the year we found out there was no santa. i am right there with you - my 12 year old considers me her personal "stylist" in the morning getting ready for school - even though I am on disability and can hardly walk. but yet i still do it. why? i never did it for my older kids. society has ruined us. these kids think that if they don't have these so-called status symbol items - then they are poor and everyone will make fun of them at school. and they do - that's the sad part.
posted by
ladychardonnay
on September 19, 2006 at 7:10 AM
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