Comments on Time To Try To Move On

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Thank you everyone one
for supporting me through this. I didn't think I would ever come back, but when a friend e-mailed me with concern I knew you guys would lift my spirits even for a minute and I thank her and everyone here for doing just that.

posted by 8-ball on September 11, 2006 at 8:01 PM | link to this | reply

Time to move on... after winning 10 clicks... hope to read a new post soon.

(A)

posted by A-and-B on September 10, 2006 at 2:29 PM | link to this | reply

8-ball,

Grief is an emotion that should NOT be rushed through.  We all know this, but sometimes we feel like we're better off just "getting it over with", out of concern for the feelings of others.  I hope you'll take your time on this one.  Many of us can relate to your feelings of regret and guilt and I doubt that there is anything anyone will ever be able to say to dissaude you from your thoughts.  At least that's been my own experience.

Death takes a lot out us, especially tragic death, death we are left feel like we could have/should have prevented.  I'm thinking it's a universal feeling, but that's just my opinion.

God bless you.  I hope that you will continue to release your feelings through blogging or whatever other healthy means God puts before you.  If you have to write 1,000 or more grief-stricken, angry, guilty blog posts, I hope you do it.  God bless you and your family.

posted by BlackPearl1 on September 10, 2006 at 10:48 AM | link to this | reply

8 ball
Well I was going to start a fight in your comment section like you said you wanted in shelly's, but after reading your post I will wait for another time. It's very sad. I don't think you should blame yourself. I am very sorry for your lose!!!

posted by Offy on September 10, 2006 at 8:40 AM | link to this | reply

The first step is the toughest. After that, the writer's block is overcome.

(A)

posted by A-and-B on September 9, 2006 at 1:44 PM | link to this | reply

Cringe, A, RI, Whacky, Faholo, Mason
Thank you for understanding, it will take some time to overcome this tragedy. I hope to write some better posts real soon to keep my mind off of this. 8-ball.

posted by 8-ball on September 9, 2006 at 7:12 AM | link to this | reply

.Dave.
So true you know me so well I always think too much over the little things but this is big and will take a while to stop. Thank you for your kind words.

posted by 8-ball on September 9, 2006 at 7:06 AM | link to this | reply

Bel and SYMP
Thank you, it seems like you all are here with me helping me through this.

posted by 8-ball on September 9, 2006 at 7:04 AM | link to this | reply

lovelyladymonk
You are right my cousin wouldn't want me to blame myself but her life ended too soon and the pain is still there. Thank you for reading it hard to know what to say to people when there is a death in the family but you seem to know.

posted by 8-ball on September 9, 2006 at 7:01 AM | link to this | reply

Passion
Thank you I need some time to stop blaming myself but it's hard I helped her with her resumes and got her that job. It just seems like it points to me because she would have never been out on her bike on that road. I just need some time but thanks for trying to tell me what I need to hear this is why you can't leave this place Passionflower!

posted by 8-ball on September 9, 2006 at 6:59 AM | link to this | reply

Kim
Yes I have done that thanks for your suggestions.

posted by 8-ball on September 9, 2006 at 6:55 AM | link to this | reply

Hope over the coming days that things may lift a little.
Again, all the best.

posted by Cringe on September 8, 2006 at 6:45 AM | link to this | reply

posted by MasonGarrett on September 7, 2006 at 9:57 PM | link to this | reply

Grief is medicine we use to accept the death of a loved one.
Everyone must grieve in his/her own way and own time. The death of a child always hurts deeply and when it is someone who has been a part of our life it is more difficult. Children grieve twice, they grieve their own personal grief and then they grieve over the pain they witness others experiencing; expecially do they grieve for a parent in grief, crying with a child gives him/her permission to cry also. Don't cheat yourself, do what you have to do to reach acceptance, there will always be a certain degree of emptiness, but we can move on. Cry, pray, scream if you need too, then let go when you know it is the right time for you to let go of your grief. Blow it up to the Lord and He will hold it for you when you need Him to. God bless, faholo

posted by faholo on September 7, 2006 at 6:53 PM | link to this | reply

Don't blame yourself it is NOT your fault!

Feel better.

posted by Whacky on September 7, 2006 at 5:46 PM | link to this | reply

8-ball, hey, stop blaming yourself for this...just take your time to
regroup, but dont hold onto that blame.....

posted by Rumor on September 7, 2006 at 4:34 PM | link to this | reply

It is natural to grieve. We wonder at what have been but I'm sure Fate and Destiny cannot be altered. Don't take the fall for others.

(A)

posted by A-and-B on September 7, 2006 at 3:57 PM | link to this | reply

I'm really sorry to hear that you are so down, but
she was a victim of circumstance, and you are in no way to blame.

Please don't do that to yourself.

posted by Cringe on September 7, 2006 at 3:51 PM | link to this | reply

8-ball, this has brought me up short. No. No blame.

I understand why you feel that, but you must talk yourself out of it, as others will. You're a thinker, so you think deep and you think this way, but no, no, you're in no way to blame. Get strong again to support those that need support. They will be doing the same and they won't be apportioning blame except in the same way that you are, to themselves. Go to the others.

My thoughts and love...

posted by _dave_says_ack_ on September 7, 2006 at 3:47 PM | link to this | reply

It is not your fault....it was the fault of the drunk driver...
We are here for you....pour out for how ever long you need to...

posted by _Symphony_ on September 6, 2006 at 9:50 AM | link to this | reply

It's hard to blame yourself
but honestly it is NOT your fault.  Try to be good to yourself .

posted by bel_1965 on September 6, 2006 at 7:17 AM | link to this | reply

Oh, God April...

I am so very sad and sorry for your loss.  I pray for you and your family that this man will be brought to justice.  I wish I had some words of comfort to ease your pain and your grief, but I don't.

You ARE NOT to blame for your cousin's death.  Please try to let go of that.  God doesn't blame you and He doesn't want you to blame yourself.  Your cousin doesn't want this, either.

Holding on to this guilt will only prolong your grief.  Of course you need to grieve...To cry...Don't be ashamed of that.  Do so for as long and as often as you need.  Talk to whoever will listen.  But please don't let your grief swallow up your life.

You have my thoughts and my prayers.  Again, I am so very sorry for your loss.  You will see her again one day...I promise you.  If there's anything I can do for you, please let me know.

Peace be unto you...

posted by lovelyladymonk on September 6, 2006 at 7:03 AM | link to this | reply

You can't accept the blame for this.

In order for you to be responsible you would have had to have been doing this maliciously or spitefully or at least thoughtlessly.

You weren't neglectful in any way. You were trying to help, to be a friend. No one in their right mind would blame you and you need to stop blaming yourself.

It's okay to greive, but guilt and remorse won't help anyone. God bless you and the family.

posted by Passionflower on September 5, 2006 at 9:09 PM | link to this | reply

You pour out whatever you need to pour out...

and as Blanche was writing last week..you move on when it is the right time for you.  This is all totally raw for you.   Thrash, scream and curse if you gotta.  It's safe.

Kim

posted by terpgirl30 on September 5, 2006 at 8:34 PM | link to this | reply