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That is Good
posted by
Dr_JPT
on September 18, 2006 at 7:51 AM
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i haven't noticed this
but i have noticed more and more people expecting the world to do everything for them and then get angry when they have to fend for themselves like everyone else...
posted by
littlemspickles
on September 17, 2006 at 4:19 AM
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I've never noticed what you mention here.
I suppose we all live in different "Little Worlds" but in the one where I live, this sort of thing doesn't really apply.
posted by
Passionflower
on September 8, 2006 at 7:01 AM
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Terpgirl
I am not offended and hope that you were not offended. I do not expect people to jump to my defense for there is no need. This is an opinion and it is what I have observered in my area and wondered if it can be used as an hypothesis to see if there is a correlation. I know that one cannot generalize from small samples to a population.
My point that I need to clarify is that in relationships both parties need to agree. One should not dominate or take over as a dictator. thanks for commenting!!
posted by
Dr_JPT
on September 8, 2006 at 5:42 AM
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No
I debated on whether or not to even answer this. I found a lot of it offensive, and that's not meant as an attack on you, I promise. The fact that I didn't want you to feel attacked is why I debated on just not answering.
It's easier and safer to lump people into groups and situations. You made a statement to the effect that the men from "these situations" you've observed make the family vacation plans which is usually the female's job. (WHAT? That's so purely silly. If there was a rule book, I've missed it, and silly me, and silly many of my friends, we're happy...and their houses are clean without benefit of a blowtorch.)
The statements were incredibly judgmental when what you had was an observation about a few people you've know. There's nothing wrong with commenting on THAT, mind you...saying this or that ACTION makes you nuts.
Insofar as single or married household, you'r making way too many assumptions all based on a very limited view of one...your own life experience. Neither is better or worse, just different...at least in my opinion. The opinion you're putting out there is that to think differently is not only odd/inferior but the product of some sort of "dysfunction" brought about by the fact that a single parent raised a child. Those are lots of assumptions. And in this case, that adage about making assumptions really holds true. And don't jump to any assumptions on my family of origin or that of my making. You'd be wrong. I just don't make assumptions about people based on a few arbitrary cases.
You really made some huge leaps there. My gut is a lot of people will jump to your defense, and the fact is they don't need to. This isn't an attack. It's just a hope that you'll step back for a moment and see individuals as individuals.
I'm going to tell you something in the hopes that you'll see that I'm not thinking ill of you or trying to belittle you. I'm just flabbergasted, and I come from a place of a person who could make some huge judgment calls based on whole groups of people. I had a grandparent murdered when I was a teen. It would be very easy to pick out a physical or ethnic trait about the person. And people did within my own family to be sure. That's usually the easiest thing to understand. It puts things in perspective. It's not as confusing, and in the case of a death, scary.
In the end, I've always held onto what I call the "one nut" theory. White, black, single, married, fat, skinny, there are nuts in every group. People who do good things; people who do bad things.
posted by
terpgirl30
on September 5, 2006 at 8:12 PM
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You are right!
But remember they're children who live with both parents are dysfunctional. Example, my childhood it was good but it could've been better. Expectations were set so high that when I became an adult, I was still trying to please my parents. - angelle
posted by
charice
on September 4, 2006 at 11:52 AM
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Factor That is Good News
The people I have seen living with this type personality are not living a joyful life!!
posted by
Dr_JPT
on September 4, 2006 at 6:52 AM
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Homegirl
It just seems different in this area. You are right that it involves control, yet we are not to control others and in my opinion, especially the area of others for it appears as though one has little to no self control. There is a lot of role reversal. If it is agreed upon, no problem, yet moving into the others area without permission is creates conflict and does not allow peace! Thanks for commenting!
posted by
Dr_JPT
on September 4, 2006 at 6:52 AM
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Hmm.
I can't think of any that I know personally...
posted by
FactorFiction
on September 4, 2006 at 6:45 AM
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no... I have never witnessed this
at least in adults from single parents
just as many people from married parents are role reversed. We live in a reversed role society.
It took me years to get my husband out of my way in the kitchen though he still goes in there when I an not, and to get him to take responsibility for our finances. He was raised by two pareents.
It took me years to stop trying to control everything... and I was raised by two parentfs (overbearing mother)
posted by
homegirl
on September 4, 2006 at 6:36 AM
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