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- Go to A Broken Man
avant-garde
Lovely story of the bond that can exist between a father and son. Avant ~ I think that we hold many of the same beliefs about the unknown and I truly believe that your father was aware of your willingness to help him and understood your pain. Your sons will someday look back and remember your actions and declarations of love.
posted by
BrightIrish
on September 2, 2006 at 2:05 PM
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Blonde Ambition
It's hard to believe it's been almost twenty years since this happened. Time sure flies.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 2, 2006 at 5:01 AM
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Avant
Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent. I wasn't even raised with my Dad only visitation growing up. He passed away just a year ago and the pain is still so raw. It feels as if he just passed a couple of months ago. I can't even look at his picture without crying.
Thanks for sharing that moving story about your life and emotions.
posted by
BlondeAmbition007
on September 2, 2006 at 4:41 AM
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Blanche
Thanks.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 2, 2006 at 3:41 AM
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Bhaskar
Thank you for your kindness.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 2, 2006 at 3:41 AM
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Avant
posted by
Blanche.
on September 2, 2006 at 3:16 AM
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Avant
I was deeply moved by the narration of your loss, and wish I could have done something to alleviate the pain. But I know it could't have been done, because these moments are like empty spaces in one's life. It is the sombre moments of life that perforce wrap you in the layers of the self. For, there is rarely even a simulated partnership in sorrow. The very act of 'sharing' is reduced to inane words of commiseration or platitudes put down in letters, duly stamped and despatched. Seldom, if ever, are words translated into action: Failure, loss, indigence, prolonged illness, death - are like contageous diseases; they have to be endured and doctored in isolation.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on September 2, 2006 at 3:10 AM
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Tanga
Thank you. That's great to hear.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 2, 2006 at 2:59 AM
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This was a beautiful piece
I have not spoken to my Dad for a while. I am going to pick up the phone just to say hi. Inspired by your words.
posted by
Tanga
on September 2, 2006 at 2:58 AM
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Jomei
Thank you for your kind regard. It's always good to hear from you.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 2, 2006 at 2:35 AM
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The Void
Thank
you for stopping by.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 2, 2006 at 2:32 AM
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Whacky
My boys experience him. I ask them what he says and does. In a way, he communicates to me through them.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 2, 2006 at 2:32 AM
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Mari-am
Thanks. My dreams have been blase lately.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 2, 2006 at 2:31 AM
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TAPS
Losing someone who's been so close for so many years changes things enormously. Thanks for taking the time to brave the waters.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 2, 2006 at 2:30 AM
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blackcat
Thank you. That was one visceral experience.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 2, 2006 at 2:29 AM
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Story
What are stories?
Is reality not a story?
When do we take a story true?
Is there anything called -Truth?
posted by
DancerBee
on September 2, 2006 at 1:26 AM
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Avant
That was genuinely moving to hear of your father's death and your anguish. I can only imagine what its like to feel so close to a father.
Time slowed down as I read that.
posted by
Jomei
on September 2, 2006 at 1:05 AM
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Thank you..
Thank you for the advise. I enjoyed your piece. Thank you for sharing.
posted by
The_Void
on September 1, 2006 at 9:49 PM
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You know in a way he is still with you!
In your heart.
posted by
Whacky
on September 1, 2006 at 9:15 PM
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Avant
good story .. have you ever been see any good dreams last few days .
posted by
Rosetree
on September 1, 2006 at 8:30 PM
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avant-garde, this was hard for me to read because I have those kind of memories of my own.
The last of life for which the first was made -- we never seem to be ready for it when it is someone we love.
posted by
TAPS.
on September 1, 2006 at 8:02 PM
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Wow. That was truly moving... I'm so sorry for your loss. I really don't
have the words to say much more than that. My father died on his own birthday, it was sudden and much different than what you went through, but I understand what it's like to feel broken. I like the way you ended this story... well done.
posted by
-blackcat
on September 1, 2006 at 4:50 PM
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Moon
Nonsense. That was a beautiful way to express your commiseration. My dad came to me a few times in dreams, but we didn't speak much. I think we had a good healing before his death. My brother, a pediatrician, still has issues with him.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 1, 2006 at 4:20 PM
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Moon
That was a great story. Don't worry that you were oblivious to what happened to me. That was many years ago, and almost seems like a dream now. I spent many hours crying over his death, and I think one can reach a healing point.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 1, 2006 at 4:19 PM
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Rcky
Thank you for being so kind. It was a very sad thing to see.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 1, 2006 at 4:17 PM
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OFFBEATS
You're welcome. Thank you for reading. It was a pivotal moment in my life.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 1, 2006 at 4:16 PM
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Justi
Oh, thank you. It was a heart-rending experience.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 1, 2006 at 4:16 PM
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Avant, I'm sorry for that last comment. What I wanted to do was to express my sympathy for your pain and agony. Instead, all I did was talk about myself. Hidden in there was the sentiment, "I sympathize with the pain you went through." But that sympathy seemed to get buried in my story. I wish I could erase the comment and start over. MoonSpirit. 
posted by
syzygy
on September 1, 2006 at 3:58 PM
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Avant, so poignant, so sad. When my father slipped into a morphine induced coma my sisters (one an MD, one an RN, the other the youngest of the family) began discussing putting him on a ventilator and feeding tube. I said "No way. Never." I was adamant; telling them it was against his clear wishes. They relented. I was the only one to stay by his side for the last 12 hours. They told me they couldn't "handle it." A few weeks after he died, he came to me in a dream. He was much younger and looked fit and healthy. He was always a man of very few words; he never expressed love or gratitude. In the dream, he told me: "I appreciate what you did." MoonSpirit
posted by
syzygy
on September 1, 2006 at 3:54 PM
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Avant.........
This has brought me to tears as it has taken me back to my mother's death. It appears to me that your were a good son and because of your relationshiop with your dad you are a loving, caring and understanding father. Thanks for making me ruin my makeup! LOL 
I love the ending of this post!
posted by
RckyMtnActivist
on September 1, 2006 at 2:09 PM
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Avant
You pulled me into the room where he laid.
You took me to the gym where you cried.
You are a gifted writer and thank you for sharing such a personal and beautiful story!
posted by
Offy
on September 1, 2006 at 1:59 PM
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AVAVT GARD
Oh you bring back painful memories. This is such a love story. You are such a good writer. When the books?
posted by
Justi
on September 1, 2006 at 1:49 PM
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