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- Go to HAVE FUN WITH THIS ONE ABOUT MY AQUARIUM!
YUCK!
posted by
swftfox
on August 26, 2006 at 8:52 PM
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Seaweed for dinner for you Friend--no meat tonight--better for planet
posted by
ILLUMINATI8
on August 26, 2006 at 4:42 PM
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CLICK 4003 --no exclamations, no excavations, but celebrations with fairies
posted by
ILLUMINATI8
on August 26, 2006 at 3:48 PM
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yes Foxy, just for a laugh thanks for reminding me.
posted by
marieclaire66
on August 26, 2006 at 2:19 PM
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You guys are way too serious! This was a fun poem about fish killing
each other in my aquarium. It's not intended to change the world or do anything for that matter. I just wrote it to write it. For fun. That's all. just fun. Notice no exclamations marks? yeah, just for fun.
posted by
swftfox
on August 26, 2006 at 2:02 PM
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ditto--but the childlike approach is endearing and deep in message
click #4 of 4,000
posted by
ILLUMINATI8
on August 26, 2006 at 8:23 AM
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dont get me wrong some of your stuff I really like!
so don't take me too seriously, I always tell you if I like something.
posted by
marieclaire66
on August 26, 2006 at 1:53 AM
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hi,
your poem needs some serious editing, you need to extract the main message here, the point of interest as a focus, otherwise it becomes a mere description in verse. I hope I don't sound too harsh, it is not intended that way. Your strength is rhythm and you do well with children's poetry. You can be too wordy at times and the poem loses its focus. Well, I hope you can handle what I am saying to you and you won't hate me for it. I know I have different areas I need to work on myself, so you can criticize my work too.
posted by
marieclaire66
on August 25, 2006 at 10:03 PM
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