Comments on Marieclaire, only one w/ new theme; WINNING suggestion- "SHADOWS"

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CLICK EIGHT AND FINISHED TIL YOU WIN AGAIN.

posted by swftfox on August 26, 2006 at 2:18 PM | link to this | reply

YPunday- Thank you for your consoling words

and blessings for healing.  I liked your $.02 (cute) when you said: Ceemarie, I would not end the poem with "I"...but your choice anyway (I would have placed the "I" before the penultimate word as you have it now. $0.2

I toyed with this placement (in shadows wait i) for the mental image I was going for:

1) a feeling of isolation, (being ignored, feeling forgotten, used up, used)
2) standing on a ledge,  ("Walk the plank, matey, yuv been replaced!" "i" had three knives in her back)
3) lowercase "i" emphasized feeling small, (of being relegated again to a "special person"; unimportant)
4) being last on the last line means "i" could fall into further darkness or the possibility was there for "i" to step closer into the light; "i" is teetering (if you could only see/cee her little arms, outstretched, trying to keep her balance with double entendre; balance between romance and reality and having balance issues from PD)
5)  "i wait in shadows" or "in shadows i wait" did not sound as ominous or foreboding as the somewhat "Poe"(?)  way I meant it, "in shadows wait i." (not that Poe ever ended any of his this way?  The Raven keeps popping up)

Cee 

posted by LadyCeeMarie on August 6, 2006 at 11:01 AM | link to this | reply

yes I might, I think my demons want to come out to play.

deep struggles of the soul...always that struggle you see. Sometimes the words take a life of their own and I watch them jump on the page. It is strange.

posted by marieclaire66 on August 5, 2006 at 6:27 PM | link to this | reply

Wow! You had something to say there, didn't you! lol That was profound!

You should really do something independent with this clause! homework assignement, expand this thought:

shadow and light
always at odds
with each other

By the way, thanks for the wink! Now, I'm all ashiver! hahaha

posted by swftfox on August 5, 2006 at 5:33 PM | link to this | reply

swftfox love it when you are mad!

posted by marieclaire66 on August 5, 2006 at 4:40 PM | link to this | reply

where are the little fishies supposed to go, Ypun has not given us a pond to deposit them, nowhere to swim for them. Slacker!

posted by marieclaire66 on August 5, 2006 at 4:39 PM | link to this | reply

tomorrow we have to do "geese" canadian or otherwise. what do you think?

posted by marieclaire66 on August 5, 2006 at 4:38 PM | link to this | reply

Oh swftfox good to see you. thanks for the tip. missed you last night.

posted by marieclaire66 on August 5, 2006 at 4:36 PM | link to this | reply

go Troosha getting there.

it seems the shadows won't leave us alone
they follow wherever we go
in  full sun merge and run
for cover under our clothes
but they are back
at first dawn
till  the sun
closes its shutters
they stretch and yawn
long and drawn out
they cast their spell
on our doubt and feast
on our fears
shadows
the familiar unknwown
death follows
like a stealth shadow
till it swallows us
whole body and soul
our shadow essence
departs and flies
free once and for all
from the shadow
that haunts us
from the shadow
that hates us
and eats up our soul
shadow and light
always at odds
with each other
shadows
rest in peace
for I do not grieve
your haunted presence
that stole my essence
I pray for new light
a new life
no shadow in sight
just light
just love
hope
delight
no shadow
just God
glorified
sanctified.

Hey this just came out of nowhere.

 

posted by marieclaire66 on August 5, 2006 at 4:34 PM | link to this | reply

My dear Marie Claire! Do a "shift-return" after each line in Word to keep

it from automatically putting the upper case letters in, even on the lines between each work. What a pain huh? This is my mad at computer face! Like it?

posted by swftfox on August 5, 2006 at 4:26 PM | link to this | reply

I'll try again - what the heck

 

a still wisp of grey

motionless in form only

extension of life

 

posted by Troosha on August 5, 2006 at 3:15 PM | link to this | reply

I read your powerful words Ypun. shadows stirred you up.

posted by marieclaire66 on August 5, 2006 at 2:00 PM | link to this | reply

the computer puts the capitals in, did not notice....

posted by marieclaire66 on August 5, 2006 at 1:58 PM | link to this | reply

The shadows of truth & lies won't leave me, just yet.Somewhere a Sabbath

in the recesses

of our hearts - hateful shadows

Germany killed Jews

 

in recovery

we lie to ourselves --worship

power and blame blacks

 

Lebanese Arabs

did not Holocaust Jews

we love to blame them

 

we forgive Germans

how nice to turn our hatred

to innocents there

 

we know history

except when they welcomed Jews

it's about their land

 

colonialism

needs God to help us sleep nights

we covet, steal , judge

 

if Jesus were here

Palestinian from that land

like Peter we deny

 

shadows of my heart

you hide evil history

bombs cannot deny

 

export our problems

to the lands of the heathen

then anguished questions

 

why do they hate us

your questions reveal shadows

the answers are clear

 

if you regret hate

of Europe against the Jews

why have Arabs pay?

 

all the nuclear bombs

will not change: Cain killed Able

Hitler was Christian 

posted by salem8 on August 5, 2006 at 1:57 PM | link to this | reply

I come in peace marieclaire & Swftfox/ "Fish"/a great general theme-Shalom

I expect wonderful pictures David. And fantastic hakiu in lower case letters from marieclaire66 too. Thansk for playing/visiting Avant-garde, foholo, Cee, MasonGarret, Mneme,Muser, Taps,OFFBEATS & bloggers. agape

posted by salem8 on August 5, 2006 at 1:25 PM | link to this | reply

fresh water fish, whatever you fish you fancy.

posted by marieclaire66 on August 5, 2006 at 1:17 PM | link to this | reply

Hey Ypunday! New day, new way, I'll say, we stay, Maries way, fish today!

But rather than trout specific, maybe we could do fresh water fish. Trout are cool but that is really limiting, unless of course you are wanting to reduce the prolifiration!? I never signed on to the Haiku Non-proliferatin Treaty! U.N.? judgement call please. Resolution limiting the amount of space one can blog hog?

posted by swftfox on August 5, 2006 at 12:07 PM | link to this | reply

posted by MasonGarrett on August 5, 2006 at 10:26 AM | link to this | reply

YPunday

A fresh perspective;

Stillness covers the land;

Dawn is breaking.

posted by avant-garde on August 5, 2006 at 3:40 AM | link to this | reply

okay Ypun let's go fishing! got your wellies on? You'll need them.

Come to NZ  one of the most beautiful trout fishing spots in the world, (they have been introduced here, but it sure brings in the tourists), and we charge them heaps. Reminds me of the time when my dear husband woke me with a beautiful trout waved under my nose, I let out a loud yelp, what a wake up call. Ah the good old days...

posted by marieclaire66 on August 5, 2006 at 2:52 AM | link to this | reply

Hey Ceemarie--just lovely-U pull a trump card as SWFTFOX shows a deck!

Thanks all--very nice to see your sharings and carings. Ceemarie, I would not end the poem with "I"...but your choice anyway (I would have placed the "I" before the penultimate word as you have it now. $0.2 

posted by salem8 on August 5, 2006 at 2:39 AM | link to this | reply

All this trout-yelling got me up! Okay, OK, ok--TROUT willbe our theme.

Might as well be pain, gain, rain, stain, maim, lame, game, same pain, jane, insane, inhumane in name of pain ...I love how CEEmarie turns pain into something beautiful, every time. We all do that from time to time...and all feelings are valid (here and in the real world). I will be a good listener. Shalom

posted by salem8 on August 5, 2006 at 2:36 AM | link to this | reply

as usual I turn out the light, late comers welcome.

tomorrow trout? why not unles you can come up with something else.

posted by marieclaire66 on August 4, 2006 at 11:39 PM | link to this | reply

hey Swftfox great hearts think alike, holocaust haikus. sad.

posted by marieclaire66 on August 4, 2006 at 11:38 PM | link to this | reply

hello ceemarie swftfox ypunday sorry I missed you all.

lovely card ceemarie. must remember Ypun's birthday, what do you want birthday boy? thanks for your comments Swftfox, you are a darling.

posted by marieclaire66 on August 4, 2006 at 11:37 PM | link to this | reply

Where's Elvis when ya need him?

I could use a little "heartbreak" hotel to shove the shadows down.
Shadows played a dark harp in my brain tonight.

Atta boy, "fat boy" Dave on his fatboy"not" Harley.  Loved that one!!

Marieclaire and Dave both wowed me somber with the Holocaust reminders.  Chilling........

All I could pen was pain and it wanted to fill the page.  I could only allow  it to occupy my usual 3 line maximum.

He is on vacation this upcoming week.  Last year was spent with me.
Last year I had no reason to be jealous.
This year it doesn't matter.
August 11th I will honor the vow he has forsaken.

AND

AUG 11, I WILL HONOR MY FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY (YPUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!)

posted by LadyCeeMarie on August 4, 2006 at 11:27 PM | link to this | reply

I guess it would have helped if I had actually told you which one was

my favorite. Makes me want to get to the mountains and camp again!

fantastic shapes dance
in fire behind shadowy
curtain distorted

posted by swftfox on August 4, 2006 at 10:09 PM | link to this | reply

My favorite, Marie Dear! You outdid yourself tonight! Looks like we

our feelings about the Holocaust.

posted by swftfox on August 4, 2006 at 9:47 PM | link to this | reply

Ta Da DUMP!

I PULLED THESE OUT OF THE SHADOWS OF MY MIND. WHEN I GOT THEM ALL OUT, I FOUND MY MIND WAS EMPTY! OOPS!

cemetery road
sun has set wind is moaning
shadows beckoning

deep in forest glade
eerie darkness ember eyes
shadow spirit world

everywhere I go
I am never quite alone
shadow follows me

shadow at my feet
making mock of all I do
kick you, you kick back

(O.K. It ain't a Harley, couldn't find one with a shadow)

fat boy on fatboy
Harley shadow racing me
always ends in tie

jewish prisoners
shadows of their former selves
only strong survived

cremations shadow
smoke rising to God, devoid
of humanity

katyusha rockets
deaths shadow o’er Israel
one more sleepless night

israeli bombs
over shadow need to flee
hezbollah to blame

sun is going down
shadow manifests my dream
now tall and slender

me and my shadow
all the bad things about me
revealed in dream form

be children of light
avoid walking in shadow
for evil lurks there

being full human
looking in shadow mirror
forget our image

myth is the shadow
precluding reality
embrace truth, wisdom

(please try this at home! You don't have to be a trained professional)

hands before the light
children scream in happy glee
shadow puppets play

shadow at my side
ever faithful never gone
constant companion

challenging haiku
stretching my mind beyond a
shadow of a doubt

beware jealousy
child in shadow of sibling’s
great accomplishments

comic book shadow
defending truth and justice
sold a pile of books

trinkets or treasure
filling each compartment of
shadow box on the wall

revlon maybeline
perfect beauty covered up
colored eye shadow

posted by swftfox on August 4, 2006 at 9:42 PM | link to this | reply

Those are really good Marie! Gonna make me work hard tonight! Not

sure I'm up to it, but I'll give it a shot!

posted by swftfox on August 4, 2006 at 8:09 PM | link to this | reply

enjoy! looks like I am the only shadow here!!

posted by marieclaire66 on August 4, 2006 at 7:28 PM | link to this | reply

hi all! here comes my shadow.

Shadowland creatures
appear in filigree
delicate unreal

 

Shape creeping behind

Me I jump startled by my
own stupid shadow

 

Fantastic shapes dance

In fire behind shadowy

Curtain distorted

 

Tree stump shadow of

Happier times forest reap death
ghost trunks live here

 

Distant silhouette

Dark no substance and yet

Reality follows

 

past faithful friend will
follow like a shadow thrown

On future time spent

 

Dark fluid fast sleek

Shadow reshapes itself from

Ahead or behind

 

Grotesque mirror shines

Crazy dark lines stretched beyond

Man recognition

 

Hunger eats human

Shadow of death lives here

Concentration camp

 

Stamp on it kill it

It rises again with sun

On looker looks back

 

Trouts for tomorrow?

posted by marieclaire66 on August 4, 2006 at 7:28 PM | link to this | reply