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Pat B, that's a very good attitude to take!
And essentially what I have decided to do. For sure, helping someone through a difficult time in life has its own rewards. But lest I sound proud and obnoxious, I am reminded of the times others have helped me in very significant ways. Being available to help one another (in some way or another, not necessarily in a monetary way) is a prerequisite towards being a REAL human.
posted by
JanesOpinion
on August 2, 2006 at 5:02 PM
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I've lent money, frequently to people who never repaid it.
The thing is, in my mind I never consider it a loan, but a gift. If they pay it back I am delighted. If not, it was a gift and it's okay. It's not like I'm giving them money I need for rent and groceries. :)
posted by
Pat_B
on August 2, 2006 at 8:40 AM
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bel, I'll let you know.
I'm inclined to believe the same but I also tend to focus on the positive, and therefore have the occasional surprise. We'll see!
posted by
JanesOpinion
on July 31, 2006 at 7:09 PM
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I beleive she will pay it back
posted by
bel_1965
on July 31, 2006 at 7:04 PM
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TAPS, very valid point.
I think I could also lose her "friendship" since I have been acquainted with her during a very painful time of her life that she may well wish to forget.
What blows my mind is the number of people who are in this same rut, who have nowhere to turn except bankruptcy or perhaps credit counselors. I have made some bad choices in my life, but am thankful for supportive parents who have helped me through and then given me the wisdom I needed to recover and become financially strong. You know?? I guess there are so many people who just don't HAVE that input, and who repetitively make bad choices.
Thanks for sharing! I guess, to be honest, I don't mind losing money if it's what it will take to help her out of the rut. Hopefully this painful experience will eventually become a positive influence that brings about life changing choices.
posted by
JanesOpinion
on July 31, 2006 at 4:59 PM
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Yeah, Rumor, I'm not always this compulsive.
Usually I am such a planner, which is likely why I have money to share. I'm happy to help her whether or not I receive repayment.
posted by
JanesOpinion
on July 31, 2006 at 4:54 PM
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JanesOpinion, I've always been a "lender". I put it in quotes because I've only received a pittance of it returned. The bad thing about it is that you lose friends by lending because they start avoiding you because they feel guilty that they just cannot get it together to pay back. People get in a rut borrowing.
posted by
TAPS.
on July 31, 2006 at 12:52 PM
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Janes, I'm not sure I'm quite that compulsive, but thats easy to say
without being there and seeing/hearing all that you did....I'm sure you will see it returned one way or another..
...
posted by
Rumor
on July 31, 2006 at 9:31 AM
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Ha ha ha Madem, laughing at your panic there.
But I believe you were quoting Shakespear's "Hamlet," -- not God. Although I believe the Proverbs have a lot to say about both borrowing and lending.
posted by
JanesOpinion
on July 30, 2006 at 7:24 PM
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Oh, my God! I just misquoted God!
"Neither a borrower, nor lender be."
Whatever! The gist is essentially the same, anyway.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on July 30, 2006 at 7:20 PM
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So sayeth the Lord:
"Neither a borrower, not lender be."
I suppose I might occasionally just give someone the money, though.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on July 30, 2006 at 7:18 PM
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