Comments on Ice Cream Pants And Bandleader Jacket....Things Were Simpler Then....

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Thanks TAPS...That's probably why I remain unmarried...chuckle-chuckle

I think you make strong points here. I miss those days when family and commitment were real concepts.

posted by MedusaNextDoor on June 4, 2006 at 8:50 AM | link to this | reply

MedusaNextDoor, Reading about your parents brings back sweet memories of my own.   I think that people today have lost sight of committment.   Or else, they doin't really understand what is involved in committment, think its no longer valid or see it as something negotiable.

posted by TAPS. on June 4, 2006 at 8:45 AM | link to this | reply

Hi, Medusa,

What a nice story.  Encouraging for those of us who still believe in marriage and the old fashioned hard work it takes to sustain one.  I doubt if all the problems in a marriage can be solved on a TV show or in a book by self-proclaimed experts.  What a crock.  Anyway, I love to hear and read about true love stories.  No one ever said marriage is a fairy tale, but I know that true love does exist.  Thanks for the reminder.  :)

posted by BlackPearl1 on June 3, 2006 at 8:09 PM | link to this | reply

Medusa

And those loving parents created a loving winner of a daughter,

posted by WileyJohn on June 3, 2006 at 4:41 PM | link to this | reply

marriage

Statistics can change.  We hear 50% of marriages fail and accept that as the rule!   I don't think marriage is for everyone,  but I do think the percentage of successful marriages can be raised!   These so called experts or relationship coaches are taking advantage of our fear.

posted by Avonna on June 3, 2006 at 7:18 AM | link to this | reply

Lol, Blanche and Talion....No love/life coaches for you two...

Me, neither. I'm tired of so-called experts telling singles to "smile bigger" and read all these books before marching down the aisle. Sheesh....I mean, if the marriage stats had improved, well, maybe they had something going there...but it's still 50/50.

posted by MedusaNextDoor on June 2, 2006 at 5:14 PM | link to this | reply

MedusaNextDoor

The idea of going to a stranger for "love" lessons is one of the silliest things I've ever heard. A stranger you saw on TV is the silliest.

posted by Talion on June 2, 2006 at 1:55 PM | link to this | reply

Still having said that, Medusa,

I've got a lot out of my system: I've traveled, been to college, did what I wanted to do, seen the world, so I am not one to advocate going back to the old ways, because that's been changed forever. It's a complex situation, but still I think the key is love.  After all is said and done, I feel Gideon is on my side, loyal and loving, and that we have each other's backs.  It's been two years, I think we have a good shot.

I know what you mean about love coaches.  It sounds like so much pap to me, too, another scam for "coaches" and therapists to make money.  Another gig is "life coaches" don't get me started on that one. 

posted by Blanche. on June 2, 2006 at 12:52 PM | link to this | reply

Blanche.....I think you get it, too.....

I'm not against playing some traditional roles but I think most people don't want to play those roles these days. Yes, we are spoiled punks for the most part....I like how my folks lived even though I felt they didn't buy me enough cool stuff at the time. But they were so good and I don't know how they succeeded. I am blessed.

posted by MedusaNextDoor on June 2, 2006 at 12:48 PM | link to this | reply

Medusa,

I had a very similar conversation this morning with a man from Brazil.  We were talking about having kids, but then the subject turned to marriage, the divorce rate, and how that affects kids.  I think you hit the nail on the head with expectations.  I see a lot of spoiled people with "entitlement issues" and some of the smartest, best educated women I know making very dumb choices (myself included) about men, because common sense just went right out the window. 

I think your mom and dad had the right idea, they went into the union, thinking it was going to work, they were determined to make it work, and do whatever it took to be happy, and provide for their children, not keep up with the joneses, worry about fulfillment and satisfaction and "gender roles" and equity in the division of labor.  I am much happier with Gideon than I have ever been and I do do a lot of typically female things like cook dinner, laundry, etc. but I have the time and I want to do it for HIM because I love him and to help each other and ourselves. 

Your mom and dad wree right to want to focus on the everyday joys of small things and let the rest go, and not worry about the overall big picture, of "am I fulfilled" or satisfied and who is doing what.  Like I said, I look around and I just see a lot of spoiled, unhappy people. 

posted by Blanche. on June 2, 2006 at 12:42 PM | link to this | reply

Ha ha, Strat. I love your sensibility and wise-ass comments....

Now that was good. I needed to laugh and laugh hard I did....lol...

posted by MedusaNextDoor on June 2, 2006 at 12:32 PM | link to this | reply

Anybody who needs a love coach

clearly does not need to get married. What they need to do is pull their head out of their ass and think about someone else for a change.

posted by strat on June 2, 2006 at 12:27 PM | link to this | reply