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Azur ---I assume he survived the fall. It does hurt, though!
posted by
brettnik
on
May 9, 2006
at
5:32 PM
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This piece was excellent
Having a son who has learned trumpet and fell down the hill on his bike I could so relate
posted by
Azur
on
May 9, 2006
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1:18 PM
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MasonGarrett
Thanks! I have to get caught up on your pics. I've been writing a term paper.
posted by
brettnik
on
May 9, 2006
at
11:25 AM
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FactorFiction
Thank you so much! The poor thing, she really felt bad!
posted by
brettnik
on
May 9, 2006
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11:25 AM
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..very nice piece!
posted by
MasonGarrett
on
May 9, 2006
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10:10 AM
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brettnik
Well, I'll say you wrote this well enough that I felt the part of the guilty Mom...
posted by
FactorFiction
on
May 9, 2006
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9:38 AM
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Una1--thank you so much!--More to come!
posted by
brettnik
on
May 8, 2006
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11:11 AM
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Brettnik -
I found myself putting my tounge up against my front teeth as I read this story. It pulled me right in. Excellent stuff!
posted by
sannhet
on
May 8, 2006
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9:04 AM
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ah the pain of childhood experiences.
posted by
Original_Influence
on
May 8, 2006
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4:52 AM
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brettnik, I feel the impact "you" felt in the accident.
Your childhood is full of memories, providing great stuff for your short stories.
Please keep writing. I love your stories.
posted by
una01
on
May 8, 2006
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1:06 AM
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thanks, Jazwolf!
posted by
brettnik
on
May 7, 2006
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4:28 PM
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Brettnik--- Something bothered me about your post, so I went back
and found it. This sentence: "Sitting on the equipment in the hot August sun, she found her sister and a new friend talking." Who was sitting on the equipment, the narrator or her sister? I suspect that you meant her sister was, but the sentence reads as if the narrator was.
posted by
Jazwolf
on
May 6, 2006
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7:41 PM
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Jazwolf--
posted by
brettnik
on
May 6, 2006
at
4:45 PM
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MsVision
posted by
brettnik
on
May 6, 2006
at
4:43 PM
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Jazwolf--again, I'm sure you're right. Thanks for the feedback!
posted by
brettnik
on
May 6, 2006
at
4:42 PM
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Hi Brettnik
I really enjoed reading this piece. It took me right into the minds and bodies of teh characters. I felt as though I was there. Good, simple style, keep it up.
posted by
MsVision
on
May 6, 2006
at
4:00 PM
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Brettnik--- Two very good stories (trumpet and bike) that needn't be
married. My saying that, however, does not mean that I didn't enjoy reading this. I did, as always with your posts.
posted by
Jazwolf
on
May 6, 2006
at
1:50 PM
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