Go to Far Be It For Me To Complain, But...
- Add a comment
- Go to K, So, Bye Mom...I Have No Choice But To Let You Die? Screw This....
kat, thank you so much, my friend.
posted by
SpitFire70
on May 10, 2006 at 3:28 AM
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I'm so deeply sorry Spitfire
Watching a parent slip away is wrenching.
Thoughts and prayers for you.
posted by
Katray2
on May 10, 2006 at 3:06 AM
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Thanks, mneme, I do read him often and I'll be sure to
check that one out! Thanks for your great comments.
posted by
SpitFire70
on May 10, 2006 at 1:12 AM
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Hard for you both..
yet, you can give back some of that love and nurturing, and spend quiet time together.. you might find it helps to focus on doing what you can to make your mother comfortable. It's a natural transition, although a sad one for you... I hope you will read Dave Cryer, Cave Dryer; the post on 3rd May is a re-post from an ex-blogger, beautifully written.. we all need our mothers...
posted by
mneme
on May 9, 2006 at 2:48 AM
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RckyMtnA, sorry about your mom. Yeah, this part of life does suck!
Especially when you're still so young and didn't expect this to happen yet! Thanks for your sweet comments.
posted by
SpitFire70
on May 9, 2006 at 2:13 AM
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Spitfire.......
I am so sorry to hear about your mom and what you and your family are going through. My mom died in 2001 so I can somewhat understand. I hate this part of life...it sucks! I will keep your mom, you and your family in my prayers.
posted by
RckyMtnActivist
on May 6, 2006 at 5:42 AM
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I sure hope so, Cass. And thank you SO much for your comments.
Really! They mean SO much to me.
posted by
SpitFire70
on May 6, 2006 at 5:19 AM
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Factor, none of us will EVER know it all during this life, but,
those of us who can appreciate kind, intelligent, and productive advise from friends is worth everything.
posted by
SpitFire70
on May 6, 2006 at 5:18 AM
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I do know how you feel. There are days that I just want my mommy here, with all the soup and comfort that she used to dish out. But its not going to happen. I hope that the time you get to spend with your mother is not a sad time. Make sure you remember these moments always. I know she will be happy to have you with her.
posted by
Ca88andra
on May 6, 2006 at 4:18 AM
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I am glad it helped
I am often hesitant to offer advice because I tend to dislike people who know it all...
posted by
FactorFiction
on May 5, 2006 at 6:59 AM
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Pat B, you may be right. I hope you are.
Only problem is her body is SO worn out and deteriorating so fast that it doesn't look too good. I just hope she enjoys her time at home. Thanks for the comments. I appreciate them.
posted by
SpitFire70
on May 4, 2006 at 1:23 AM
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I'm sorry about what happened, Scoop. That sucks.
It so often seems as if $$, power, and greed get involved with someone dying or their death. Mom is going home Friday and we do have a 24/7 home health care assistant, meals on wheels, and a nurse coming in and out. It's going to cost her over $700.00 per week out of pocket but she wants to be at home. I don't blame her. I am her power of attorney and her guardian if she is incapable of making decisions, so hopefully, I won't have the situation like yours to deal with.
posted by
SpitFire70
on May 4, 2006 at 1:21 AM
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Well, Sir Strat,
That
was of great comfort for me. Thank you, my friend.
posted by
SpitFire70
on May 4, 2006 at 1:18 AM
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Thank you, Azur. I'm trying to remind myself of that.
Ya know, maybe after I spend the week with her next week, I'll feel different about some things.
posted by
SpitFire70
on May 4, 2006 at 1:16 AM
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Factor, no, that's totally awesome advice! Thank you so much!
I think you may be right. The only thing I think I could add to that is that I'm angry cause I feel like I'm being cheated out of having my mom for longer. I know, life isn't fair, but still. Thank you again!!!
posted by
SpitFire70
on May 4, 2006 at 1:15 AM
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It may not be what you think.
Your mother is more likely going home to live her own life, for as long as it lasts, than to die. She wants her walls, her things, her memories, her comfort zone. In it she feels like an adult, a whole human being with some control over her patterns and ways. In a nursing home or assisted living facility she feels weak and dependent. You may be surprised how well she does.
posted by
Pat_B
on May 3, 2006 at 7:36 AM
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This sounds familiar, we went through this with my mom two years ago
my brother had power of attorney and all the other power that went with it and I trusted him. She thought she was going back to her apartment but while she was in the nursing home recovering from a hospital stay, he had her placed there permanently, and emptied her apartment.
My best to you, it isn't easy. Our outcome was not very good.
posted by
scoop
on May 3, 2006 at 7:06 AM
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You're taking on the world now, Young Miss,
and handling it admirably. This ain't no dress rehearsal, and it ain't never easy. It's okay to feel this way, too. It's called love, and there's obviously an infinite supply of that between you and your mom.
I don't want to spout a cliche like "It'll get better" or "hang in there." I don't really know that I have anything terribly comforting to say. But I trust you will fall back on that great reserve of strength and love I know brims within, and that will get ya'll through.
Take care.
posted by
strat
on May 3, 2006 at 6:29 AM
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Spitfire70
You know I think there is a part of us that always wants this, the comfort of a mother, the nurturing, the soup. You are strong enough to get through what you need to get through
posted by
Azur
on May 3, 2006 at 6:18 AM
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Hey Spitfire...
I am so sorry you are dealing with this...what a stressful year for you...just one thing after another....
I am going to butt in and give you my impression based on your post... 
uh-oh-
I figure you are so close to it, involved, stressed, you may not realize it? But the impression I get is that you are afraid...if you can figure out specifically what you are afraid of, maybe you can let that go and not be as stressed out? I have always had good luck meditating and identifying what I was afraid of, then realizing I did not have to fear whatever it was...
Of course, none of the above may apply, in which case, pat me on the head and send me on my way...
posted by
FactorFiction
on May 3, 2006 at 6:15 AM
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