Go to Vangelina's Vampire and Erotic Poetry
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Hi Vangeling!
...yes... thank you...
posted by
MasonGarrett
on
April 12, 2006
at
8:30 AM
| |
reply
Hi
I very much enjoy your poetry, I hope you don't mind, but while I was reading these two lines didn't fit well together. They seemed forced. I know for me i want people to point things like this out for me, because i have a hard time picking them out in my own work. All your other lines flow well together and if you ever want to try a contest I could shoot you a site if you like. Here's the line that seems forced...
And my blood makes sound
As my head spins around and around
posted by
microba
on
April 11, 2006
at
8:19 AM
| |
reply
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