Comments on WHAT IS DIGNITY?

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Damon

My wife and I raised three. The first one was showered with attention..the second one not so much and the third, he made it on his own! I just read your comment on one of my earlier blogs and you're right! I really enjoy our jousting and I certainly don't take any offense so please, don't feel constrained.

posted by Burly on April 12, 2006 at 2:12 PM | link to this | reply

Dignity is

holding your head up and walking like nothing is wrong when you've just split the seat of your pants at a crowded bank on a payday Friday night.  The process gets even more complicated if your mother-in-law is following behind you, completely broken up with laughter, pointing...

As for little kids, dignity comes from giving them a little respect and treating them like someone you want to impress. Easier said than done... :)

posted by Pat_B on April 11, 2006 at 8:03 AM | link to this | reply

Thank You...

...all for your comments, from the madly funny to the deeply thoughtful, and all points in between.

You're all lovely people, and no mistake.

D

posted by DamonLeigh on April 11, 2006 at 5:18 AM | link to this | reply

Good post!!!

posted by shypettite on April 9, 2006 at 3:19 PM | link to this | reply

That's a new one to me...

I guess making it a loving, nurturing experience rather than a perfunctory, mechanical labor would afford the child dignity in nappy-changing!

posted by brettnik on April 9, 2006 at 2:20 PM | link to this | reply

All I can say is while changing the multitude + thousands of nappies (diapers) that I've changed in my life, all I could think of was getting them done quickly so that I could move on to other interesting things, such as washing clothes, cooking meals, cleaning the house, feeding the baby, picking up toys and uh oh - there goes another nappy...

posted by Ca88andra on April 9, 2006 at 2:52 AM | link to this | reply

I'd also say that dignity for the baby is physical more than mental.

Dignity comes through social awareness doesn't it?  It comes through the nurture rather than being innate. Saw my new 5-day-old nephew, Oliver, at the weekend. I should have asked him.

posted by _dave_says_ack_ on April 5, 2006 at 11:10 AM | link to this | reply

I have a similar notion of dignity.

I don't think it consists entirely in the mind of the person being treated. I can think of situations where the dignity of an unconscious person, or barely-conscious person, could be violated even though, of course, he is not aware of it. That, I think, is part of it: we should not take advantage of the fact that the person is not aware of his condition. On a t.v. special last night on nursing homes for the demented old, an old man's wife insisted on him wearing a bib while he ate. Someone else said, "Who cares if he gets food on his clothes?" (The implication being, he probably cannot notice it, so why does it matter?)

I found that attitude quite repugnant. It's not that there's any grave harm in a person having food on his clothes. But it strikes me as very disrespectful to let a person look messy just because we know he is not conscious of it. That's taking unfair advantage. When a person is so vulnerable, that would seem only to increase our duty to maintain their dignity, since they cannot do so themselves.

The idea of respecting a baby's dignity while changing diapers is an interesting one. I had never really thought of it. When I used to have to change my sister's diaper (she was born when I was nearly eleven) I used to just be preoccupied with getting it done as quickly as possible, for I am very ill-tolerant of foul odors. But I think you're on the right track by talking to Sam as you do it. Slowly he will become able to understand what you're saying. (If I interpret the research correctly, babies profit from being spoken to and read to even before they can understand the words. My mom confesses to reading the encyclopedia to me when I was of pre-walking age, and today nothing excites me more than looking up new things in an encyclopedia or some such informative medium.)

I think treating the baby with dignity means treating the baby as a person. Note that we tend (or maybe it's only in the U.S.) to refer to babies as "it" (even when we know the gender) and "the baby" (even when we know the kid's name). We talk about babies like we would talk about animals. ("Walk the dog," "Change the baby.") The "it" reference bothers me more than the "the baby" one, though. "It" is so depersonalizing, dehumanizing. I don't even like to refer to animals as "it." I just choose a gender and go with it until corrected, instead of resorting to "it." To me, that is the denial of dignity -- not necessarily the words themselves, but the attitude we show toward the extreme-young (as well as those at the other end of life). Do we still treat them as full persons, even when their capacities are not fully developed (or have been diminished)? From what I read here, it's plain that you respect Sam's dignity.

 

posted by Dylan24 on April 5, 2006 at 10:01 AM | link to this | reply

That is an interesting book... How do you take a babies dignity at

a nappy change? Maybe if you shame him, but that doesn't take away dignity, hmmmm, I am perplexed now... I will give me something to ponder today!

A great post and have a fabulous day!

angel 

posted by anglofinspirtion on April 5, 2006 at 6:03 AM | link to this | reply

Maybe dignity for a baby

is a physical issue rather than a mind issue.

Distract him from the discomfort of nappy changing and his dignity is retained.

Nice post!

posted by una01 on April 5, 2006 at 5:35 AM | link to this | reply

Dignity ~ Retaining one's self respect....

....through a self-depreciating experience.

Such as wearing a totally-gay rayon disco suit during dance rehearsal with a certain British cretin who smelled vaguely of sheep.

posted by mark2556 on April 5, 2006 at 4:37 AM | link to this | reply