Comments on The eHarmony Story That eHarmony Won't Tell You

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Jentoblues--- Absolutely. I jumped in too quickly. Your last sentence cuts

 right to the heart of the matter.

posted by Jazwolf on July 29, 2006 at 10:00 AM | link to this | reply

Quite The Story....

and I think it illustrates the most common mistake in internet contact: we mistake online intimacy with the real thing.  This moves  us quickly to the "let's try to build a life" stage, before we've completed the "I'd really like to know you better" stage. 

No amount of email or (gag me!) IM contact can replace the face-to-face, watch-your-eyes-when-you-talk, listen-to-your-vocal-intonations, personal interaction.  It is easy, after all, to be the person we hope to someday become--but haven't yet achieved--if we've learned to communicate well using the written word.

posted by jentoblues101 on July 29, 2006 at 9:57 AM | link to this | reply

Mark and Passionflower--- I'm not blaming eHarmony. Just telling the other

side of the story. Some risks are involved and not endings are happy. Overally, I think that it has done far more good than bad. And, Mark, thanks for the offer. Do they speak English?

posted by Jazwolf on June 4, 2006 at 7:34 AM | link to this | reply

What's eHarmony got to do with this?

Besides, Boy got off easy.  It's not she put a curse on him.  Tell him to call me and I'll fix him up with the perfect match, and at half the price.  Sort of.

posted by mark2556 on June 3, 2006 at 1:31 PM | link to this | reply

I enjoyed your story...but can you really blame eharmony?

If she hid mental illness from you, she hid  it from them too.

btw, I'm currently available and haven't boiled any rabbits in quite some time....maybe a week or two.   {what happened to the lovely lakeside house?}

posted by Passionflower on June 3, 2006 at 1:25 PM | link to this | reply

FoF--- Thanks very much for your kind comment. Yes, it's over, thank

goodness.

posted by Jazwolf on May 25, 2006 at 6:40 AM | link to this | reply

Gee, I missed this one...

I am so sorry... what a horrible ordeal. At least it is over?

posted by FactorFiction on May 24, 2006 at 6:16 PM | link to this | reply

Vpate--- So sorry to hear that. Right now, I'm still in "distrust"mode, but

I'll loosen up over time.

posted by Jazwolf on April 8, 2006 at 3:23 PM | link to this | reply

Match.com -- not the same experience, but the same ending result --

This lights the fuse of her mental illness and she responds with vile insults and personal attacks, using as a club the intimate information about his life that he had shared with her. 

How does one continue to trust after an experince such as this?  I know it will be a challenge for me to "share" again.

posted by VictoriaP on April 8, 2006 at 3:17 PM | link to this | reply

man o man... i wondered about these services. sorry that happened.

i met someone online once... turned out to be a disaster. i'll say no more. peace.

posted by joleen on March 20, 2006 at 11:43 AM | link to this | reply

Wow!!! This is incredible. Total setup from the start.

Disgusting people.  I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

posted by brettnik on March 18, 2006 at 9:16 AM | link to this | reply

Jazwolf,

Thanks for sharing your story.  Internet dating is such a crap shoot, isn't it?  And such big business, too!  It's so frustrating, but stories like Nanaroo's (success story) are encouraging, I think. 

posted by BlackPearl1 on March 17, 2006 at 5:14 PM | link to this | reply

Jazwolf

the other thing I can say about this whole thing is, that about 6 months after the Australian nightmare, I met my current hubby on the same site and it has been a wonderful relationship... they're not ALL crazies! (Yes, one might ask, why did I take another chance after that one?!)

posted by Nanaroo on March 17, 2006 at 4:42 PM | link to this | reply

Wow, is all I can say! Really!

posted by anglofinspirtion on March 17, 2006 at 12:25 PM | link to this | reply

Nan--- Found it. Thanks for recommending it.Don't know what kind of

craziness you encountered, but I'm sure that it had to be terrifying, especially so far from home. What disturbs me about my "mistake" is that I should be much wiser now about such things than I was as a youth. But I don't seem to be.

posted by Jazwolf on March 17, 2006 at 11:17 AM | link to this | reply

Jazwolf

go to the blogit search function and search for the blog titled "Nanaroo's Kangaroo" and you will find it!

posted by Nanaroo on March 17, 2006 at 10:40 AM | link to this | reply

Jazwolf

oh geez, I don't know why that link wouldn't work... I will try it another way...

posted by Nanaroo on March 17, 2006 at 10:08 AM | link to this | reply

RMA--- Thanks. It was a learning experience.

posted by Jazwolf on March 17, 2006 at 9:46 AM | link to this | reply

Jaz....

Wow! What a Bummer! Sorry to hear that story. You just never know!

posted by RckyMtnActivist on March 17, 2006 at 9:32 AM | link to this | reply

Nan--- Sorry to report that link does not respond.

posted by Jazwolf on March 17, 2006 at 9:31 AM | link to this | reply

this reminds me of a story also... may make a good post... thanks!

posted by -blackcat on March 17, 2006 at 9:29 AM | link to this | reply

Jazwolf

here it is:

http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Nanaroo/338640

posted by Nanaroo on March 17, 2006 at 9:21 AM | link to this | reply

That is the bright side alright! Sounds like a lot of great

times are ahead

posted by Ariala on March 17, 2006 at 9:21 AM | link to this | reply

Ariala--- My bright side is that I have a great, lakefront home, one that

I never would have purchased for myself. I've already had one party and I bring kids out to go fishing. Can't wait for summer.

posted by Jazwolf on March 17, 2006 at 9:19 AM | link to this | reply

Offbeats--- Thanks. I am very much enjoying peace now.

posted by Jazwolf on March 17, 2006 at 9:18 AM | link to this | reply

Nan--- Glad that you laughed. That was my intent-- as well as to warn

people. I'd like to read about your adventure.

posted by Jazwolf on March 17, 2006 at 9:17 AM | link to this | reply

BC--- I probably won't be doing more internet dating anytime soon.

posted by Jazwolf on March 17, 2006 at 9:16 AM | link to this | reply

Geez...look on the bright side...at least she was a woman and not a

fat hairy plumber named Bruno.  There is ALWAYS a bright side.  Oh yes.

posted by Ariala on March 17, 2006 at 9:12 AM | link to this | reply

jaz

Wow, what a nut case. Never gone to e-harmony, but I have had some good experience on dating sites. Interesting ones too and a couple of really, really, bad ones! I typically blog about it and there are a couple of people in here that make sure I don't end up with the nut case!!

Sorry about your experience and hope you get some peace soon!

posted by Offy on March 17, 2006 at 9:02 AM | link to this | reply

Jazwolf

ohhhhhhhh.... so sorry to hear that!  I posted a similar nighmare a while ago- will go find it for you- but it wasn't this bad!  That is so awful that I laughed loudly... (what else can you do?)   Really was fun to read except for the fact that it wasn't fiction...

posted by Nanaroo on March 17, 2006 at 8:54 AM | link to this | reply

Wow. Now there's a poster for why internet dating is a BAD idea.

I'm so sorry to hear this story, but sounds like you have a "what not to do" post in the making!

posted by -blackcat on March 17, 2006 at 8:52 AM | link to this | reply