Go to WildBlonde Trapped in the Body of a CEO's Daughter
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All in all....
I'm sure you will make the right decision....
:-)
posted by
FreelancerX
on
March 13, 2006
at
12:38 AM
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Depending on the lie...
one lie, depending on what it is, is forgivable. But if a lie comes with the understanding that one of my greatest struggles is trusting people, and you choose to neglect that fact, then I would have to say, for me, that is unforgivable. For one, you're suppose to be looking out for my best interest no matter what. Two, at such an earily stage of our relationship, a lie can only trigger the doubt ten folds.
posted by
FreelancerX
on
March 13, 2006
at
12:35 AM
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hehe, no, you can want an explanation.
However, he IS a guy, and he currently has no clue what you want from him. Of that much I am sure... I would just call an calmly tell him WHY it means a lot to you that he tell you more details about what he was about to say. And, if he does, remember not to kill the messenger if you don't like what he tells you!
posted by
FactorFiction
on
March 12, 2006
at
1:16 PM
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fof ~
i knew you would have good advice....i still can't help feeling that he lied right to m face (via the phone.) haven't heard rom him today, and i sure is hell am not going to call him first. is it wrong to feel like he owes me an explanation?
posted by
AC_Allyn
on
March 12, 2006
at
7:37 AM
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nan~
thanks for you input...i needed to hear/see other points of view because i usually have tunnel vision.
posted by
AC_Allyn
on
March 12, 2006
at
7:32 AM
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blanche ~
i do think he is a sincere person. but i cannot stand liars because people like my dad have screwed up so much...and it all starts with a lie.
posted by
AC_Allyn
on
March 12, 2006
at
7:31 AM
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doc ~
that is exactly how i feel...
i know him and know that he is an extremely loyal person (or so i thought)....so if someone tells him something in confidence, he is not likely to blab to anyone. but something is fishy about this one, and i think i should be on the top of his loyalty list. but on top of it all...he shoulldn't have lied about it after he put his foot in his mouth.
posted by
AC_Allyn
on
March 12, 2006
at
7:29 AM
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Sorry I am barely around this weekend...
but I just signed in and saw this... have not read the other comments, but my thoughts on reading it were that he realized that it would just cause you more pain and anxiety to know that anything bad was being said about your dad so he decided to shut up
Maybe I missed something in my speedreading this morning, but that is certainly what it sounded like. I know I still get annoyed sometimes when my husband (works/commutes with my dad, his boss) complains about anything...but hey I understand it too...
posted by
FactorFiction
on
March 12, 2006
at
6:38 AM
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AC
When I read what you wrote, my instinct was not that he was 'lying' to you but that he was sturggling with divided loyalties or something which is a very normal thing. People can choose what 'gossip' they choose to pass along or not and if they choose 'not,' I feel that it is in a different category than lies. However, I don't know this guy and certainly don't know much about your relationship, so I'm not trying to give advice here- I just wanted to give you my thoughts based on how I read what you wrote!
posted by
Nanaroo
on
March 12, 2006
at
6:14 AM
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AC_Allyn,
I wouldn't really give advice because I don't know you, your boyfriend or your situation (well, kind of, through your blog). Your boyfriend obviously going to have divided loyalties: your his girlfriend, your dad's his boss, but I wouldn't be so cut and dried, about saying that he was betraying your trust by not coming to you with the gossip about your Dad. He's right, though, the affair was going to come out, and people do gossip.
I don't know what you should do. Again, I go with intent. If someone hurts you unintentionally, then apologizes and recognizes why and never does it again, it's sincere. If you get the feeling he's not being sincere, then trust your instinct.
posted by
Blanche.
on
March 11, 2006
at
11:53 PM
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I Think it is a Violation of Trust
I do not like for people to bring up a topic, then when asked further, clam up and especially protect someone else at what I consider my expense. One of the worst fights I had with my husband involved his protection of another female. I told him that it was disrespectful. Between a man or woman, forsaking all others is area that tests loyalty.
Another thing to consider is the fact that your Dad is his boss. This shows disrespect towards him as well (gossip/ethics). As you thought, I believe also that if a person will lie about one thing, so will they in another. Be careful is about the best I can say. I see two red flags here: honesty and trustworthiness.
Be careful!
posted by
Sophistie
on
March 11, 2006
at
7:47 PM
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