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Meringue, I can't argue with what you said. You are exactly right. It goes
both ways.
posted by
Feenix
on November 8, 2005 at 4:59 AM
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Songbirdshafer, thank you for your wonderful reply, and I am pleased to
make your acquaintance.
posted by
Feenix
on November 8, 2005 at 4:57 AM
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Reni, speaking of "accidental pregnancies", my mother said that when she
she got pregnant with me, at first, she thought I was a case of the flu.
posted by
Feenix
on November 8, 2005 at 4:56 AM
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Mightyholywarrior,
Thanks for a different perspective. You wrote a very refreshing post.
God bless.
posted by
songbirdshafer
on November 8, 2005 at 2:51 AM
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What your post says is true
for men, but it is also specially true for women, who need to be equally responsible.We all need to learn and teach our children about sexual responsibility and parental commitments.
posted by
Meringue
on November 7, 2005 at 5:58 PM
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I agree...HOWEVER...When I married my hubby in my mid-twenties,
I had never been pregnant before, and it was not because I had been a lesbian or overtly chaste. I had slept with men before and DEMANDED (yes, DEMANDED) that my partners wear condoms (even though I never slept with a man who I had dated less than 6 months) in spite of the fact that I was on the pill. I did not want to chance any STD's (I don't care how long you date someone, they still might lie about this), and I definitely did not want to take a chance on becoming a mother too early. One boyfriend walked over this, and I never regretted my decision. I figured that if he couldn't grant me this one request, then he wasn't worth sleeping with anyway.
My other bf's had no problem with it--although they did whine here and there. My point? My mama taught me to respect myself enough to stand up for my beliefs and my body. It IS a two way street. Your solution comes in when women are either too weak or too stupid to stand up for themselves. After all, if we women would start taking more responsibility, then we wouldn't really care what the hell you men did.
Ironically enough...After I married hubby, I had three children. #'s two and three were complete accidents! Although maybe that's because I'd lightened up on my whole condom rule...lol Figured hubby would be okay...
Great post...
posted by
Renigade
on November 7, 2005 at 12:14 PM
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OFFBEATS, your comment was deep, real deep. It served to give me some
new insights into an issue I am wrestling with. I am printing it out so I can refer to it over-and-over again.
posted by
Feenix
on November 7, 2005 at 12:09 PM
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MWH
I believe I understand the larger scope of education you are talking about here. While you were raised to be responsible, remember most were not and are not. Both sexes must assume that burden, least they will have bigger burdens. I am not a right winger on abortion, I believe the gov't should stay out of our wombs, although I would never consider an abortion for myself. That is my moral call, not everyone see's it like that. With so many ways to prevent unwanted babies, the message is in that. Planned Parent hood is a fine example of that. They push the condoms, birth control pills, and other means of prevention. While organizations such as that have a place in our society, education does not drive them. We must educate at home, and assure our children that the responsibility of having children is a life time committment. Your parents taught you, I taught mine, I pray they are teaching their's....social and moral conduct.. Good post as usual my firiend!!
posted by
Offy
on November 7, 2005 at 12:01 PM
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So, Kooka, are you and I still pals, or what?
posted by
Feenix
on November 7, 2005 at 11:52 AM
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Hell Has not frozen over
For while the basic idea of the post is one I do very much agree with, as always your views are not 100% with mine. You just keep thinking too here and now and are ignoreing the big picture, which is the main driving force of conservative thinking. There is reasoning as to why for the time being we need to leave abortion alone, or things will get worse.
For one thing your ideas still have women' in a position of being submissive to the male. Sorry, btu you can not go and blame the man for it, both parties have to take equal responsibility for the action. Neither side s more or less to blame for being irresponsible. I fact by trying to claim one side is at fault takes away from the teaching of responsibility and just compounds the problem.
You admit to the truth in this post, we need to be educating our children on being responsible. Once that start to become the norm. Once we move away from the negative stigma that society has placed on birth control such as the pill and condoms, we will then be able to move on and no loner need abortion. How many movies make it clear you are suppose to feel uncomfortable if you are a teenager buying condoms? The idea of birth control is very often used as joke and made to seem like something only foolish teens use.
The truth still is we need abortion to be there until our society catches up to the level of responsibility we should be at. Religious ideas have been holding us back from getting to that level.
I have said it many times, I do not like abortion and very much disagree with it as a form of birth control. But the facts are things would get real bad right now if we were to just suddenly do away with it before we as a society are ready.
My wife and I love kids and even though our first son was unplanned, we were at a level were we had made the commitment to get married and we were ready and able to take care of a child fully. Mentally we are both very fit to be parents and we have the right attitude and natural skills to be parents. The truth is that many people who are physically able to have kids are not mentally able to. Actually those who have the mentality that makes it so they were irresponsible enough to have to go out and get an abortion as they form of birth control, generally right there are showing they are not going to make good parents.
It really does come down to the teaching of responsibility and getting the whole of the society to that next level where the idea of abortion is just not going to be needed as regretfully it is now.
posted by
kooka_lives
on November 7, 2005 at 11:44 AM
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I don't know about who's more responsible for the problem...
I do know that our society's casual and cavalier attitude towards sex, in my opinion, is at the root for a lot of social ills in this country...and others. Glad to see you back around...
ltlmac70
posted by
superflymom119
on November 7, 2005 at 10:58 AM
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blackcat30, RE: Males taking greater responsibility. I agree with you. It
will never happen.
What I was doing in this post was, thinking out loud.
posted by
Feenix
on November 7, 2005 at 10:19 AM
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MHW... Your thoughts were clear and I agree. I just don't think it will
ever happen.
posted by
-blackcat
on November 7, 2005 at 10:10 AM
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blackcat30, perhaps I did not make it clear in my post, but what I was
trying to point out is, organized efforts must be taken by responsible men to guide the irresponsible types who have no regard for the consequences, or who are bent on "conquering" as many females as they can, to change their attitudes and the ways in which they behave.
I firmly believe that when there is a chance that a female will end up having an "unwanted" or "unplanned pregnancy", the male should say, NO!
And I am thoroughly convinced that mature, responsible men like myself have an obligation to go out there and guide as many young studs as we can to say NO on those occasions when the situation warrants it.
posted by
Feenix
on November 7, 2005 at 10:00 AM
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RAME, I will just say this: Because I was conditioned to be a "gentleman",
I have passed up more "chances" with females than the average male gets.
And the reason why I passed up the "chances" was, the females -- each of whom was ready to "tango" with me -- failed to assure me that they were not going to end up getting pregnant.
If the male says, NO ... then there ain't no "tango".
posted by
Feenix
on November 7, 2005 at 9:46 AM
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Men should definitely take more responsibility, but the fact is that it's
the woman that ends up with the baby. She needs to be in control. This isn't one of those things we can trust men to take care of for us. It does take two, but unfortunately, the one left holding the package has more to lose.
I sometimes wonder if men ever stop to think about the random women they may have been with, and if they have kids wandering around somewhere out there....
posted by
-blackcat
on November 7, 2005 at 9:40 AM
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Holymightywarrior,
You are a true gentleman. I don't agree with you though. You see, I believe it takes two to tango and both should accept responsibility for an unwanted or unplanned baby.
posted by
RAME
on November 7, 2005 at 9:34 AM
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