Comments on Survivor's Guilt Or Something Like It

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Sam
It's funny how those of us who have loved ones in this conflict always look and see someone else that may have a harder time.  I honestly don't know how a parent can let their child go and remain sane.  I think we all have our own private battle in this and somehow I think in the ways that matter we all share the same heartache, heartbreak and fear.

posted by Bel_ on November 3, 2005 at 9:40 PM | link to this | reply

My thoughts and prayers are with you. You have a very tough job. I have a good friend of mine and my husband who is in Iraq. Also I have a first cousin there too. I pray for them all the time. I have a two yellow ribbons on a tree in my front yard. I put them out when they left and I hope to take them down when they come back home. But I know it would much much harder if it was my husband over there.

posted by Samantha39 on November 3, 2005 at 9:38 PM | link to this | reply

Justso
That belief has gotten me through this past year.  Thank you.

posted by Bel_ on November 3, 2005 at 9:24 PM | link to this | reply

Avant
You always seem to have the right words.  Thank you

posted by Bel_ on November 3, 2005 at 9:23 PM | link to this | reply

Symphony
It's so good to see your happy face around here again

posted by Bel_ on November 3, 2005 at 9:23 PM | link to this | reply

Timmy
Thank you so very much my friend.

posted by Bel_ on November 3, 2005 at 9:22 PM | link to this | reply

Maggie
I am hoping so!

posted by Bel_ on November 3, 2005 at 9:21 PM | link to this | reply

Joe
Those are my words and all I know how to do is write what I feel.  I am by no means a poet...maybe IFL can help me out with something.

posted by Bel_ on November 3, 2005 at 9:21 PM | link to this | reply

ugggggggh I bet it IS an emotional rollercoaster for you.
One thing in this post caught my eye. When you said: my piece of mind comes with the devastation of someone else. I don't know if that's original, or if you saw the idea elsewhere. . . , BUT, if it is your very own, it's a very beautiful sentiment that you should consider surrounding with verse. In other words, I suggest you make a poem, using this thought somewhere within. Very lovely sentences (thought), Wifey.

posted by Joe_Love on November 3, 2005 at 8:52 PM | link to this | reply

Oh, MW, hang in there, Sweetie, it's soon over.....
Carl will be home and your worries will vanish! 

posted by MaggieMae on November 3, 2005 at 6:18 PM | link to this | reply

military
Somehow I don't see you saying "let it be someone else".  I do see you saying "I hope it's not him" or words to that effect. You are not wishing it or hoping it on anyone else, that's just the way it is. Stop beating yourself up, there is nothing selfish about it

posted by TIMMYTALES on November 3, 2005 at 5:07 PM | link to this | reply

posted by _Symphony_ on November 3, 2005 at 8:03 AM | link to this | reply

Military Wife
You are sensitive to your feelings, and that is good. Survivor's guilt is powerful and prevents you from loving yourself. Forgive yourself for what you have not done to another. Only then can you give the love and support these women need, instead of shame and fear.

posted by avant-garde on November 3, 2005 at 4:23 AM | link to this | reply

Military Wife
I can't sympathise with you, I haven't a clue what it is like to think the next call out of those wounded or killed may be your love. I do know the hand of God can cover them and I will pray daily for you and yours. BB

posted by Justi on November 3, 2005 at 1:55 AM | link to this | reply

Blanche
He is quite the character...anyone who can laugh at themselves is OK in my book.

posted by Bel_ on November 2, 2005 at 8:36 PM | link to this | reply

Military Wife,
I love William Shatner now. I agree, I thought he was a buffoon in Star Trek, but now he's spoofing himself and he's in on the joke.  I saw him on a Canadian awards show once, and he said, "I really don't talk as if every word was it's own sentence"  Cracked me up. 

posted by Blanche. on November 2, 2005 at 6:39 PM | link to this | reply

Blanche
I am actually a fan of Shatner...though I hated Star Trek, when given the oppurtunity the man is funny as can be.  Unfortunately ABC does not come in out here in cow country...on a rare occasion I can get a picture clear enough to see it.

posted by Bel_ on November 2, 2005 at 6:37 PM | link to this | reply

MW,
You're right, you probably would have been irritated by the show, and by people pontificating on such a senstive subject.  Although, you might be surprised by William Shatner.  He played the other side.  When the war began in 2003, I petitioned for George Bush's impeachment. That may not sit well with you.  I do support the troops, I feel terribly for every one of them.  Now, all I can think is "There will be wars and there will be rumors of wars, do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid."  There is so much more to this world and to this war than I undertand.  God bless.

posted by Blanche. on November 2, 2005 at 6:36 PM | link to this | reply

Blanche

To be honest, I have never seen Boston legal and to be even more honest, from the sound of it I would have been irritated by it. 

Stop loss is part of the military and it goes with the territory.  It is doubtful that this will be Carl's last deployment before he retires in 2008 and there is a good chance because of how things are timed he will be in after his retirement because a stop loss will come down just under the wire.  This stinks, I am the first to agree to that, but it's also what these soldiers know as a strong possibility each time they enlist.  Suing someone because they don't like the way things work out does not sit well with me.

Thank you so much.

posted by Bel_ on November 2, 2005 at 6:32 PM | link to this | reply

Mike

You are so very right.  Thanks hon.

posted by Bel_ on November 2, 2005 at 6:28 PM | link to this | reply

Military_Wife,
Did you see "Boston Legal" last night? It is one of our favorite shows.  James Spader played a lawyer who attempted to bring a suit on behalf of a sister who lost her brother in Iraq.  He was suing (or trying to) the US government for the Stop-Loss program, putting the soldier in a dangerous assignment without training or proper equipment.  The judge was a conservative and, of course, you can't sue the military, but it did raise the issue. 

posted by Blanche. on November 2, 2005 at 5:20 PM | link to this | reply

i couldn't possibly empathize

but this thing is getting crazy. 

it's worse than the media say. 

posted by mikebrown on November 2, 2005 at 4:19 PM | link to this | reply

MilitaryWife,
There is nothing simple or uncomplicated about anything to do with this war.  Being relieved that Carl is alive is natural.

posted by Blanche. on November 2, 2005 at 3:38 PM | link to this | reply

Hollee
My prayers for your friend as well.

posted by Bel_ on November 2, 2005 at 2:08 PM | link to this | reply

Cosy
Thank you so much.

posted by Bel_ on November 2, 2005 at 2:08 PM | link to this | reply

Militarywife
excellent post...there's nothing wrong with your thoughts. I'm so glad Carl is okay! Have faith and he will continue to be ok!

posted by cosy on November 2, 2005 at 2:05 PM | link to this | reply

Mil--moving reflective post. I can understand your conflict--a dear friend
just came home safely from two tours in Iraq--and it seems almost daily his friends over there are being picked off one by one. It is heartbreaking. My prayers are with you and yours.

posted by Hollee on November 2, 2005 at 1:54 PM | link to this | reply

Shadow

I hope it ends soon as well.

posted by Bel_ on November 2, 2005 at 9:50 AM | link to this | reply

MW,

Everytime someone I know gets away from there I feel such joy, then I hear about this solider getting blown up or this solider shot, especially from Tennessee, and its like I'm split down the middle. Half joy, half sorrow. I just wished it would all end. Our soliders are being forced into a repeat of Viet Nam as far as I'm concerned. Shadow

posted by Keshet on November 2, 2005 at 9:47 AM | link to this | reply

IFL
Hopefully soon they will be good memories.

posted by Bel_ on November 2, 2005 at 9:10 AM | link to this | reply

Reading you
always brings back memories.

posted by inkedforlife on November 2, 2005 at 9:09 AM | link to this | reply