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Joe - thank you. I wonder if 18 months is the norm? A year was somehow just not long enough for me, but it seems right now to be free.
posted by
Ca88andra
on
November 5, 2005
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4:51 PM
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Ca88andra
I have a friend who broke up with her husband. It took her about 18 months, too. . , to finally get to the point where she was emotionless about him. She went through many stages to get to that point. And, when she got to the point that you are describing, she claimed the same liberation. Congratulations to you.
posted by
Joe_Love
on
November 5, 2005
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7:08 AM
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Rachel, thank you - it does feel good!
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 31, 2005
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12:58 AM
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Pat - one can only hope!
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 31, 2005
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12:58 AM
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Good for you!
It's awesome when you get to that point and you finally realize it! :)
posted by
RachelAnna
on
October 30, 2005
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6:34 PM
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well, for now it's all good
but we've all said those famous last words... never again. But the good news is -- you'll be harder to seduce, give less of yourself, and be quicker to recover next time. :)
posted by
Pat_B
on
October 30, 2005
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11:49 AM
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Usual - a numbers game... of course! I hadn't thought of it that way before, but you are spot on. In a way I almost wish I would have my heart broken again because that would mean I would have found someone to love again. But we shall see.
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 29, 2005
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6:07 PM
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Blanche - no, I don't hate it when anyone says that! lol Yes, living well and moving on is revenge enough. Mind you, I did my share of thinking of despicable things too... *wink*
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 29, 2005
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6:05 PM
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muser - I hope you are as good a prophet as you are a writer! I had tingles all over while reading of my adventures in the grocery store. Dayum girl I'm going to be hovering over the avocados everytime I walk into a grocery store from now on! Do you think the store owners would mind if I moved the melon display closer to the avocados?
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 29, 2005
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6:04 PM
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Ca88andra--
I read this post with a smile on my face....GOOD FOR YOU! People only have as much power over us as we permit them to have so I'm glad you have taken control. Also, now that you've gone through so much devastation you know that you can handle pretty much anything. That "chance" encounter with the ex was exactly the type of situation you needed to let you know that you've healed, grown and moved on. Congratulations and as far as getting your heart broken again? Well, it's worth it if you truly love someone. Plus there are millions of men in the world...it's all a numbers game anyway...lol..
posted by
UsualSuspect
on
October 29, 2005
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3:36 PM
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Ca88andra,
After I've thought of several means of torture and revenge on despicable exes: it came down to the most satisfying was definitely the old chestnut: "Living well (and moving on) is the best revenge." Total indifference, nothing better. Good on ya! (I'll bet you just hate when Americans say that!)
posted by
Blanche.
on
October 29, 2005
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2:42 PM
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Cass...I think you would smile back and say nervously,"The avocados are
perfectly ripe today." His reply as he walks toward you "...and the melons are quite lovely as well. Hello, my name is Devon Ramsey." Again he flashes a smile that disappears everyone and everything in the grocery. He extends his hand, "I've just moved here from the states to coach basketball. I love to cook and I wanted to fix (he's southern)something to eat so it will be ready when the game starts...what can one make with avocados and melons?"
You are thinking that he has the most gorgeous green eyes you have ever seen as you extend your hand...the one an avocado was in...the avocado that is now rolling across the floor toward Devon Ramsey. You can feel the heat of embarrasment, nervousness creeping up your face as you realize the other avocado is no longer in your other hand,(Oh my God how could I be so klutzy at this very moment?)but mercifully your vocal cords haven't frozen and you hear yourself say, "Hello Devon. My name is Cassandra.I'm actually doing the same thing...my son and I are also looking forward to today's game."
"You like basketball?!"
"I love basketball!"
"Well, Cassandra" he says as he clasps your hand into his(O my God I hear bells just like in the old movies, you think)would it be too presumptuous for me to invite you and your son over to my place to watch the game? Except for the folks I've met at the university, I don't know anyone here...you're the first real person I've met here...I think you may be the first real person I've met in a long, long time..." he says with a wistful expression as your eyes briefly meet. He then gracefully bends his six and a half foot body toward the floor to retrieve the avocados.
This little vignette is for you Ca88andra! I always thought it would be so romantic to meet someone in a grocery store like in this little vignette...it could happen like this for you, Cass...it could happen...
posted by
muser
on
October 29, 2005
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5:31 AM
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Offbeats - thank you!
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:56 PM
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Ca88
Good for you girl!!!
posted by
Offy
on
October 28, 2005
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10:52 PM
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Just - thank you for reading!
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:30 PM
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Blanche - I know what you mean. I found it difficult not to do a little dance or laugh out loud!
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:29 PM
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Ariala - thank you. I do feel like keeping an eye out now, if nothing else I might come up with more to write about!
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:29 PM
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Quirky - I think it was a statement made and meant at the time. In a more realistic light today I could probably acknowledge that it might not be true.
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:28 PM
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avant - thank you!
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:27 PM
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brisbane - knowing myself as well as I do, I'm sure I will try again. But maybe not too soon.
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:26 PM
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Layla - thank you!
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:25 PM
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Nancy, it did feel fantastic and I'm pleased to say, I don't particularly care what he is doing lol.
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:25 PM
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Tapsel, what a sweet comment, thank you!
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:24 PM
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Queen, thank you! My heart has a mind of its own too, so no doubt there will be other stories to write.
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:23 PM
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ginnie - it did feel good and maybe it was meant to happen, I hadn't thought of that.
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:23 PM
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muser - you had me giggling! I wonder if the avocados would get squished in that circumstance.
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:22 PM
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Hollee - thank you. Now you mention it I'm not keen on any type of shopping either, although shopping for clothes that are not needed, but desired, is slightly better.
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:21 PM
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AlPen - dork is such a good word, so descriptive and just the right one to use...
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:20 PM
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wordsmith - the best thing is that I don't care what he wondering!
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:19 PM
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jojo - thank you! I think grocery shopping is so awful because its necessary.
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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10:18 PM
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Cas88nda
Thanks for sharing that. It was a wonderful moment for you and for us to know you received it. It will also help someone else. Again thanks. BB
posted by
Justi
on
October 28, 2005
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7:22 PM
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Congratulations, Ca88andra.
I love that moment of pure release. I could burst out singing "Free, free, free at last! Great God Almighty, I'm free at last!" when I get to that point: where the ex is no longer a blip on the radar.
posted by
Blanche.
on
October 28, 2005
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6:17 PM
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Wow...neat experience to have you relate. So glad to know you've had
this wonderful break through! Good things are ahead! Keep an eye out!
posted by
Ariala
on
October 28, 2005
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4:06 PM
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I am so glad that you have gotten to that place, and you know it's real because you didn't feel that same sense of emotion. It feels good to be released from something like that. But you said, "Never again will I allow my heart to be broken." How can one avoid such a thing, save for never engaging with another human being ever for the rest of their life? Or do you mean, you won't allow the broken heart to endure longer than is necessary to heal.
posted by
Julia.
on
October 28, 2005
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4:00 PM
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ca88andra
Good for you.
posted by
avant-garde
on
October 28, 2005
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2:25 PM
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This is great!
I hope when you say never again will you let your heart be broken that you don't mean you won't try again?
Jo
posted by
brisbane_artist
on
October 28, 2005
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1:26 PM
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WONDERFUL! I am so glad for your CURE!!!
:-) ~LB~ xo
posted by
Anony_Miss
on
October 28, 2005
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12:29 PM
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Cass,
Sounds like that felt fantastic! Glad to hear you're cured. I hope he's eating his heart out now.
posted by
Nancy-R-H
on
October 28, 2005
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10:46 AM
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Ca88andra, You are always so busy and doing so many things and writing about your life that, even though I knew of your problems way back when, I had completely forgotten. Good for you. You have come through the fires of adversity and the dross has been burned away. You are shining like pure gold.
posted by
TAPS.
on
October 28, 2005
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10:33 AM
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CA88
It takes a long time for the heart to heal....because its not just an ear ring you dlost out of your ear....its your heart......a body organ that got broke!!!!!!!!!! I too have said.....and still say 'I will never love again.' I'm a liar.......because my heart has it's own agenda which really screws me up at times. None the less I congratualte you for moving on, feeling strong and leaving the 'bad guy' in the dirt. YOU ARE THE WINNER....and of course he is the looser.
posted by
ALWAYSALOVER
on
October 28, 2005
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8:43 AM
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Good for you Cass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounds like you needed to bump into him to realise you were totally over him!!! I'm sure that felt pretty damned good!!!
posted by
ginnieb
on
October 28, 2005
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7:38 AM
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What a great day for you, Cass! Congratulations! I know how good that feels
Protect your heart, but don't close it...falling in love is always a risk...but such an exciting one! AND...one day we might be treated to a different kind of grocery store story: While squeezing the avocados, I suddenly felt as if I were being watched. My contentration now broken,I looked up to see the most gorgeous man I've ever seen smiling at me over the melons... Hey! it could happen!
posted by
muser
on
October 28, 2005
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7:21 AM
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Cass--good for you. You and I still have twin lives it seems--right down
to the grocery shopping hatred. I hate shopping for anything. Congrats dear.
posted by
Hollee
on
October 28, 2005
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6:56 AM
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Not Just An Insignificant Guy..
A dork, perhaps? Good for you-I know the feeling...been there, done that. Me and grocery shopping....? Nope, don't like it, don't have a it of use for it.....
posted by
AlPenwasser
on
October 28, 2005
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6:48 AM
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Cass, I'm glad to hear that.
It does prove that time heals everything....I bet he must be in a state by now wondering which was is up. Let him wonder!
posted by
word.smith
on
October 28, 2005
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5:36 AM
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Congratulations!!
That must be a great feeling. By the way I despise grocery shopping as well.
posted by
jojostar
on
October 28, 2005
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5:34 AM
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May thank you! Not only is he just a guy - but just an insignificant guy! lol
posted by
Ca88andra
on
October 28, 2005
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3:55 AM
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Well done!
So now he's just a guy! That's great
posted by
Azur
on
October 28, 2005
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3:45 AM
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