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cosy
I just read down to here and caught up with you. I am no help here. All I can say is that people completely baffle me and I can think of few things as awful as harming a child like that. I am so sorry. 
posted by
FactorFiction
on October 18, 2005 at 7:53 PM
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Hemlocker
how more can I express gratitude other than by multiplying that dozen of roses you send me 24 x 
. You are wonderful. Thank you for your kind words.
posted by
cosy
on October 18, 2005 at 7:03 AM
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Shadow, I wasn't claiming to have all the answers...
Nor was I speaking of rules of procedures. I was giving medical fact. It cannot stay in the body longer than 72 hours, it disintegrates. The body naturally dispells it, no matter the age of the child. I verified this with my source before I made my comment since my memory is faulty. For example, you can't have sex and suddenly end up pregnant a month later.
posted by
Temple
on October 17, 2005 at 5:55 PM
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cosy--
I can think of very little that is as infuriating or shock-producing as this. Certainly I would not attempt to add anything beyond what temple and myddrin have offered, except that you do have options, you can take action, you can help this girl, though she must be so badly hurt, not just by the sexual abuse but the horrible abandonment she suffered. She'll spend the rest of her life trying to deal with this. Hopefully, sometime in the future, she may be able to live with it if she has a good support system and people like you who truly understand and genuinely care. x12. Hemlocker
posted by
Hemlocker
on October 17, 2005 at 12:50 PM
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Temple,
I do not disagree with you on standard procedures for determining a rape victim. I am familar with the rules and procedures as set by the State of Tennessee, not California, but not every incident will go strickly by the book. Sometimes rare incidents do happen. Unless the child and her family were lying to cover up their particular plight, and yes, it would be human nature to deceive if the shame is too much to bear, then the evidence proved the prolong deposit of semen within the child. You may have the background and you may have the experience to deal more indept with the legal aspect such as this, and I am thankful you have this wisdom and devotion to help stop this horrible nightmare for so many helpless victims, but you don't have all the answers. No one is capable of having all the answers. Rules governing both nature and man are made to be broken. Not everything revolves around one person's knowledge or experience. It takes cooperation from many to make the world a better place. Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on October 17, 2005 at 9:38 AM
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Temple
Do email me please! I did respond through email. Whatever it takes I will do.
posted by
cosy
on October 17, 2005 at 8:47 AM
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Okay, here's the situation on seminal fluid since we must go there.
It is not physically possible for any of this, let's just call it evidence, to be present in the body of a woman after a month. This is according to the Rape Crisis Center, all of the doctors I did rape kits with, my DA's office, and the National Sexual Assault Association. There must be a rape kit done within 72 hours to preserve evidence of semen, however, how well that stands up under DNA testing depends on the man and his swimmers. Is he fertile? Did he have a vasectomy? Did he use a condom? Did she shower? Does she have clothes she wore from any of the incidents instead? This does not depend on the age of a child. After 72 hours in the body of any female, this evidence disintegrates. So, it is not possible for seminal fluid to be present. I have investigated from both the dependency side (minor's guardian ad litem and minor's counsel), and the District Attorney's side prosecuted such cases, as well as worked as a family lawyer in domestic cases involved abuse and neglect with both battered women and children with the biggest pro bono firm in the city. So, Cosy, I would love to help, but Shadow -- sorry Shadow -- is giving false information and I feel obligated to point that out so you don't put this child through any more trauma. If you are totally confused now, call your local Rape Crisis Center or Child Services (block your number, call anonymously) and ask them. They will confirm what I tell you. The remainder of what is left to be done, I will leave to email if you so choose. But, Children's Services cannot help you now -- not yet, and a very invasive rape kit is useless unless he raped her in the last 3 days. Sorry to be so blunt, but I don't want to see her further injured or upset.
posted by
Temple
on October 17, 2005 at 8:43 AM
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Miaella
Never do!
posted by
cosy
on October 17, 2005 at 8:41 AM
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A very intricate situation
But because you have been there it is you that must be the adult for this child. It is a 'fact' and one that doesn't seem to go away that 'mothers' of all back grounds will believe in their husbands or their boyfriends before they will their child. I too had repressed memories of an incedent that happened when I was 12 years of age. I didn't recall it until I was 26 and when I did, my blood boiled....after I picked myself up off the floor and got my children off to the school bus. Because of my incident and therefore knowledge...I was more able to protect my own children....had that extra instict, that extra eye and hopefully it has been passed down to my daughter so she can better watch over my grand princesses.
posted by
ALWAYSALOVER
on October 17, 2005 at 8:40 AM
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Shadow
it is people like you and Temple who are lacking in this world...I thank you for being one of the few who stand up and not sweep stuff like this under the carpet...believe me, I won't stand down and I will keep you posted.
posted by
cosy
on October 17, 2005 at 8:39 AM
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cosy
Surprisingly this happens a lot....I don't know...but I couldn't imagine believing any man over my own child
posted by
MiaElla
on October 17, 2005 at 8:38 AM
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Cosy,
Temple is qualified as a lawyer for just such a situation as this. I am not. All I can do is relate to you how my state works for these cases and what I have encountered working for the Rape and Abuse Center here. I'm basically saying that there are options available and to do something to help the child, not cover this up. Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on October 17, 2005 at 8:31 AM
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Shadow
thank you. Trust me I thought I had no options and thanks to you guys I now feel I do. I will do everything and anything she allows me to do.
posted by
cosy
on October 17, 2005 at 8:30 AM
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Cosy,
It does happen when you get a case manager who is so bombarded by cases and little evidence they will ignore such actions. That's why I also suggest a separate Rape and Abuse Center to back up your claim. If this girl has never been sexually active with another male, and evidence shows she has continously been sexually molested for any length of time, they will be able to determine activity simply by her physical state. Women who are sexually active do not have the same physical interior as a virgin. Their walls are remolded when they accept sexual intervention. The longer they accept, the more they are remolded. I know this is horrible to say, but the age old saying about women expanding after long activity of sexual encounter is not a total myth. Ever heard a man say its like falling into a crater? Few women still have the elasticity, firmness, or tightness after prolong sexual activity, especially if this is began at a early age. There's more than one way to find evidence. Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on October 17, 2005 at 8:27 AM
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Temple
I
u.
Thank you from my heart!
posted by
cosy
on October 17, 2005 at 8:25 AM
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I don't mean to contradict Shadow, who I know is trying to help....
...but don't call Children's Services yet. At this point she is living with family, and all they will do is look for family for her to stay with. You don't want her in foster care if she doesn't have to be, and if she's living with family they won't place her anywhere else. The police actually are the best situation for the girl now. It just depends....I'll need more details. In any case, they won't recommend removal from the home she's in and it's far too late from what you are writing here to do a rape kit. It's only a matter of hours and there are many variables that I won't get into here.
posted by
Temple
on October 17, 2005 at 8:25 AM
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Cosy,
We had one little girl who was brought by her grandmother into the Rape and Abuse Center nearly 2 months after last intercourse. Semen was still present. I think it depends on age actually. This little girl had not started her period yet. Monthy cycles can expel semen as this is also a cleaning process of the inner linning. Still, I was raped and my x-boyfriend's semen was still present and we had broken up the month before my last period. Each woman's body is different. Cosy. Please, just do something ASAP. The quicker you get the child to cooperate, the quicker you will know and the quicker she will receive help. But, we also have to be realistic. If the asshole used protection every time, then the battle will be extremely difficult. Still, she's not an adult and that's in her favor. Children's Services are normally very vicious about this stuff. Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on October 17, 2005 at 8:15 AM
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Cosy, I don't know what state you are in..
And I'm not practicing law anymore, due to an injury, but I am attorney and one of my area of specialization was family. This is something I'm all too familiar with. Email me through Blogit with NO personal information, just say hi or whatever so I can contact you, and I'll give you information -- not legal advice -- as to what you can do, and if you need to seek legal counsel. As far as the time frame, statute of limitations, don't worry about that. In most jurisdictions it's a very extended one because there are considerations with children coming forth that I can explain later. I'm in California, so my time is the same as Blogit time (just after 8:00 a.m. here now...). I won't be able to email you back until later tonight sometime. But, I can get you all the information you need and resources through my old firm here for further contacts in your area. I'm sorry you ever had to experience any of this. It is horrifying, and was a gut-wrenching thing just for me to deal with professionally, I cannot imagine personally. Love and light to you and your family.
posted by
Temple
on October 17, 2005 at 8:12 AM
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Shadow
about children services...I am not too reliant on them. I myself was denied justice at thirteen after they visited my home and my mother proceeded to also lie to them and tell them my step-father didn't beat us continuosly and locked us up at our home...it was all my exageration. They never followed up on it again. My mother turned to me after they left and said she was sorry but that she didn't need any legal trouble and didn't want to lose me...this is just another four broken years of my life followed by this.
posted by
cosy
on October 17, 2005 at 8:02 AM
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Shadow
I will ask how long ago this was...do you know the time frame more or less before it is too late? I'll check on legal services. My step-daughter said she would try and have her talk to me...
posted by
cosy
on October 17, 2005 at 7:57 AM
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Cosy,
If its not been done yet call Children's Services now, immediately. The police department can't mediate here. I can also tell you that in many cases semen can still be present even after a long absence of sex if the girl has not preformed any internal cleansing. DO NOT WAIT ANY LONGER!!! Get her to a professional now! And, if you have free legal services in your town, talk to them, now, about this. Shadow.
posted by
Keshet
on October 17, 2005 at 7:53 AM
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Cosy
I'm so sorry that you had to experience this.It is so horrible that a mother would look the other way. I don't unerstand it either.
posted by
jojostar
on October 17, 2005 at 7:43 AM
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