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Ichi
I don't have sister or brothers but I see it happening with my grand-mother and mother who no longer see me as the baby of the family, and therefore totally forget to give me love, making me jelous! lol My little man gets all the attention and support and I get all the blame! I don't know how you feel...but I can imagine the difficulty of your situation.
posted by
cosy
on September 15, 2005 at 11:43 AM
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Ichi...sometimes it sucks to be the oldest. We're the guinea pigs...
I've got two litte sisters: one, that is sterotypically normal and one, that's not. The latter had a brain tumor and it's affected her since she was a toddler. To make a long story short, I can relate to you...can't say I know what you've gone through, but I think we share many of the same emotions.
I agree with MsVision, and encourage you to write and to share what you're feeling. Say things out loud/on paper. Release it. There's no quick fix, there may be not ultimate fix, but let it out and maybe learn to just make piece with it. As for feeling robbed of your youth - been there! I'm not sure what or when it hit me, but now I look back and am thankful for everything that went right, everything that went wrong, everything that went my way, and everything that didn't. I'm happy, because I am who I am because of it all. I hope you find "that" someday. XO ~ Mask (sorry for getting sappy - just truly connected with you on this one!) Take Care!
posted by
Masky
on September 15, 2005 at 4:25 AM
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Hi Ichi
Its really important to write down your feelings like you have in this post. Just keep writing and writing whenever you are feeling frustrated. No matter how bad the words sound.it really helps to get it all out.
After a while, wen you are feeling calm you can come back and look at what you have written and work out what things you can change and what things you can't
Maybe you could think of some strategies to give yourself a break when you are with your sister or you you could develop some strategies to distract and refocus her attention elsewhere in a positive way just to give you a bit of space.
Anyway I hope this helps a bit, just ideas that have helped me a bit with situations that may or may not work for you.
posted by
MsVision
on September 14, 2005 at 11:08 PM
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Hi Ichi!
You are right to own up to and embrace your feelings..You'll find that it's very releasing if you will. There is nothing wrong with your feelings, and dealing with them now will allow you to get past the frustration. I think it will..Schree`
posted by
Schree
on September 14, 2005 at 7:20 PM
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FactorFiction, I know that everyone has their crosses to bear. Each is different to the next. Some people handle things differently to others. I know that someone else in my shoes would be ever so kind and patient with my sister like so many other people are, but I'm just not that kind of person. Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate you reading. :)
posted by
Ichi
on September 14, 2005 at 4:42 PM
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It must have been awfully hard on you as a kid. I think it is unfair to expect the older kid to always watch the younger whether there is something wrong with the child or not. But, at the risk of making myself sound like an old lady...sometime down the road you will realize that everyone has his or her own tragedies/losses/crosses to bear whatever you want to call them. That's one of yours and it sucks, but _everyone_ has something.
posted by
FactorFiction
on September 14, 2005 at 4:34 PM
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