Comments on Chapter 23 -If He Thought He Was Going To Mistreat Either of Those Kids...

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Digitalink,

Thanks for reading. Yes, I would like to publish this work. By the time I get it all written, it will definitely be a book. It is something I've felt for a number of years needs to be published so that people who fall victim to the kind of people like Will will know that they are not alone and that it's not their fault. I guess a small amount of it is because after they realize they have been deceived and manipulated, they are also nurturing and have compassion for this miserable person and want to help him/her. At that point they need to rid themselves of this person and usually are in too deep to just let go. It is a vicious cycle and the only one who will break it is the victim. The victim can't help that he/she was chosen to victimize.

I appreciate you reading and commenting. Truly, I hope that you will keep reading. Please feel free to let me know how you think it might be improved. Thanks again.

posted by RAME on September 18, 2005 at 11:43 AM | link to this | reply

This is a great story...

I hope you turn it into a book because I am really curious to read more and see what becomes of Will.....I hope he gets his fair share...

posted by Digitalink on September 16, 2005 at 1:34 PM | link to this | reply

MsVision,

Thanks for reading. Yes, she is getting stronger and she will continue to do so but there will be small setbacks. Appreciate your comments.

posted by RAME on September 14, 2005 at 12:23 PM | link to this | reply

This is an interesting story, I feel that your female character is becoming stronger. I will be interested to see how this develops.

posted by MsVision on September 14, 2005 at 5:38 AM | link to this | reply

Ainsley,

I'm glad you can see what "Living With A Sociopath" is really about. Thanks again for all your reading and comments.

posted by RAME on September 12, 2005 at 8:38 AM | link to this | reply

I agree!

Although I wasn't married to him, I got involved with a guy over the Internet a few years ago.

It turned out that he, obviously, had issues to where he would get to the point of feeling guilty about being unfaithful to his dead fiancee if he allowed himself to develop feelings for someone else and would then become angry at the person who made him feel that way.

I would find out that this had happened before me and that it has happened at least once since me.

In my case, he suddenly began ignoring me.

Then, he started making snide remarks about me, and the things I'd done that had once pleased him became things that annoyed him greatly.

I began to look like the heavy in this one and this resulted in a flaming party that went on for some time.

Because I was persistent and kept wanting him to communicate with me and tell me what had gone wrong, he began to tell people that I was stalking him.

I've, since then, been able to turn this "stalker" labeling into a joke, but it hurt at the time.

He and I still aren't the same, and, sometimes, I wish I'd never fallen in love with him, because we'd really clicked as friends before our Internet relationship took a romantic direction.

This relationship never involved cyber-sex or anything like that, but he said, himself, that there was a special connection between us, and his letters seemed to me to be romantic in nature.

I don't think that I was simply reading this into his letters at the time.

I still think that he and I have a special connection, and it was meant for our paths to cross.

I also know that I would go nuts being married to him (and vice-versa), even if he's able to get this personal issues settled.

Our special connection, I believe, is one of putting our heads and hearts together to make this world a better place, and I'm sorry that the romantic part has ended up short-circuiting the connection.

But I believe that, over time, we'll get back on track again and be better than ever.

And I don't see him being a sociopath like Will. Will is very far-gone with a lot of issues seemingly sewn into his personality--going beyond simply being sewn there but, instead, embroidered there.

Although I also think that my friend also has a lot of embroidered issues, it just hasn't gotten to the place where it has with Will and hope that it never will.

One things I also believe is that, even when it comes to Will, Jesus can pick out the embroidery and heal the holes this has left behind--but not necessarily so that he can return to life as he knew it with his wife and kids, because that might end up proving toxic and causing further negative embroidering to happen.

Anyway, when you invest so much love into a person as Tiff has done with Will, a lot of what made her love him in the first place has been embroidered on her heart, making it too easy for her to keep giving him chance after chance!

Will be looking forward to the next part of this story...

posted by Ainsley_Jo_Phillips on September 11, 2005 at 10:31 AM | link to this | reply

Ainsley and Passionflower,

Thanks for reading and for your comments.

When people are abused, it sneaks up on them gradually. The abuser very often is very calculating and manipulative. He/she can come on very charming and lovable and be manipulating at the same time. It throws the victim off and is confusing. Often the abuser will make the victim feel sorry for him and he finds a victim who is a nurturer. It is a very gradual thing. The abuser will often be able to make the victim think it is her fault. It's so subtle that she doesn't realize that is what is happening.

In this case, the abuser found a victim who had a wonderful and loving home life with her parents and family before she met Will. She had never experienced broken families and she had never had experience with a family as manipulative and controlling as Will and his parents. She was just thrown into it when she married him and by the time she had figured out that he didn't/couldn't love her or anyone else, it was well enough into the marriage that she felt she had gotten herself into this and that she was just going to have to live with it. She was strong enough that she would very often call him on things and let him know he was trying to manipulate her and that it would no longer work.

Remember also, that she was a devout Catholic. She had never had any divorce in her family and had no idea at first that there was such a thing as annullment. When she did find that out, she sought out her priest who gave her the paperwork and let her know that it couldn't be started until after a divorce was final. She didn't know, at that point, whether an annulment would even be able to be obtained. She also had married Will before finishing college and had no degree and didn't know how she was going to support her kids. She hadn't talked to an attorney because they cost money she didn't have. Will made sure she only had the bare amount of cash to buy groceries and neccessities. Also, she did love him and felt sorry for him that the only love his parents had given him always had strings attached. When he was good to her, it was a sudden and drastic change from when he wasn't good to her and it never failed to catch her off guard. Once he was being good to her, he was so charming that she wondered if she was making mountains out of molehills.

Having taken her wedding vows seriously, she was determined to give it all she could give it and, though he was beginning to be verbally abusive to Richie, it didn't seem to happen often and the minute she witnessed it, she stepped in and did something about it.

She was caught in a web. She knew she should probably get out of the marriage, but her vows meant a lot to her, her children meant a lot to her and , though Will's abuse toward Richie was a once-in-a-while thing, the kids loved their daddy and it would have hurt them to pick up and leave him. She had an awfully lot to weigh and balance and was trying her best to make the best of it and make the best decisions.

No one can really say what they would do under the same circumstances until they had actually walked in her shoes, or in the shoes of any victim of abuse.

Again, thank you for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it.

posted by RAME on September 11, 2005 at 9:58 AM | link to this | reply

Though I like your writing style, I dislike stories of this nature...

I'm a strong, independent woman who would never put up with shit like this from a man. If Will had kicked me in the ass, I would have turned around (right in front of the kids bec they need to see their mom stand up for herself!) and knocked him on his ass.

Then I would have packed our things and left ole Will to somebody else...plenty of women out there with low enough self esteem to want a guy like him.

posted by Passionflower on September 11, 2005 at 6:42 AM | link to this | reply

I don't know why she even stayed any longer! For me...

...this would have been the last straw!

In fact, several episodes of Will's behavior would have been the last straw for me!

Will be anxious to learn what happens next!

I can hardly wait for her to be free of that jerk--not to mention her kids (who have had no choice in the matter) being free of him!

Keep It Coming!

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Paul Enger
!!!
Happy 39th Birthday
(again)
!!!
LOL

Would you believe
that
--on Paul's birthday this year--
rehearsal for
his new play
also began
!?!

posted by Ainsley_Jo_Phillips on September 10, 2005 at 6:26 PM | link to this | reply