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Thank you mmm-w
My husband asked me what I wanted for my anniversary and I started listing things like cleaning the spot off the carpet stairs, cleaning the solar room, and ending up with the perfect house,yard and car. Then my husband said that when he was in college he wanted good grades, but didn't want to study. And I admitted that I would rather spend time talking with people than cleaning.
Yesterday I visited a friend and marvelled at their house. It is full of interesting things. The couch is old and covered with a sheet, but it has cane sides and is a fine piece of furniture. The table is oak, a hundred years old and well worn but a very unusual design. In the corner of the living room, she has an old piano painted white but with the paint pilling. A note chart is placed on it along with pictures of his son and a favorite band. There are books stacked everywhere. It is one of those houses that is clean but messy. The mess has an order about it and signals comfort rather than laziness.
I will never have such a house, but I can have something in between magazine perfection and their house. Collecting good will stuff, such as the hall pictures with love as the theme, covering the stairway wall with family pictures, keeping the old hutch I bought in Indiana instead of buying a new one and a table and chairs set to match it.
In addition are the gifts that peoplehave given me. My favorite one is the precious moments porcelain figuring entitled homebuilder. It is a little boy builing a bird house for a nest of birds in a tree next to him. That was given to me by Catherine a drunk and a tweaker who said that the figurine was what I was a homebuilder. The home I was building was for homeless tweakers like herself. Since then I no longer have tweakers but those who are clean and building their lives again. Catherine is no longer welcome because she was always drunk and she is unwilling to get clean and sober, she is a threat to those in my house. I with that I could have both--a place where those who were still using were welcome and a place where clean addicts could recover. But maybe helping those who are new is the closest I should be to active addiction. After all, I am an addict, too.
posted by
Make2short
on August 19, 2005 at 5:12 AM
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you are right.... we have to find the beauty within the walls of what we can handle... most of us would like to have the well kept, well ordered life. we would probably find satisfaction in that, but the reality is that would only leave room for something else to creep up and leave us feeling unhappy.....
posted by
mmm-w
on August 18, 2005 at 5:39 AM
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