Comments on Help...I think this poem needs a different ending!!!!!! Any suggestions?

Go to Poetry: Gravely Poetic - Add a comment - Go to Help...I think this poem needs a different ending!!!!!! Any suggestions?

Mia-ella DON`T TOUCH IT!!! it`s perfect as it is

you journey easily there, u feel all of what is happening, but you do escape, FANTASTIC!! xxx

posted by mcbreeze on August 14, 2005 at 11:42 AM | link to this | reply

Wow, MiaElla.   There, I said it for you.  Very graphic.   Makes me not want to be in that place and then you make me feel good with the ending.

posted by TAPS. on August 12, 2005 at 8:26 PM | link to this | reply

mia

the whole poem made me go wow girlfriend.

posted by MysticGmekeepr on August 12, 2005 at 8:16 PM | link to this | reply

mia

i don't know honey, thats pretty awesome as it is...play with it if you feel like it, but it "feels" right as it is.

posted by MysticGmekeepr on August 12, 2005 at 8:15 PM | link to this | reply

The way you wrote it, is the way it should be!

That was a wonderful poem befitting a wonderful writer!

posted by LostInLife on August 12, 2005 at 2:43 PM | link to this | reply

mia ella

Can't win 'em all gal

posted by ariel70 on August 12, 2005 at 1:03 PM | link to this | reply

ariel70

I guess I was looking for an ending that makes the reader go "wow!"

posted by MiaElla on August 12, 2005 at 12:58 PM | link to this | reply

mia ella

Your ending looks fine to me

posted by ariel70 on August 12, 2005 at 12:32 PM | link to this | reply

MiaElla --thanks, i could say the same about u.

posted by scriber on August 12, 2005 at 12:30 PM | link to this | reply

scriber

That in itself sounds like a poem...you have a beautiful way with words.

posted by MiaElla on August 12, 2005 at 12:20 PM | link to this | reply

the last few lines

I steel myself

to flight as a light ahead

beckons to me hope;

I enter the night.

----or something.

posted by scriber on August 12, 2005 at 12:19 PM | link to this | reply